How do you lke to be rejected?

[Mr Peabody]

EFN,
Your thread is exactly what this coed section is here for.

Just as providers can change or improve themselves by the review process, a guy can correct his appearance or behavior through negative feedback in a rejection.

Rather than have the honest rejection become a reason to personally attack the provider, there should be a STANDARD REJECTION FORM which all providers can use for this purpose. You ladies should get together and put all those negative comments which you gossip about into a check-off list which you can then use as a super-quick-yet-accurate response.

The main reason why negative feedback is important is because you are probably dealing with incorrect information often propagated by a cock-blocking ho. Your feedback gives does give the prospective client a chance to dispel incorrect rumors.

Wouldn't you love to get the response "No honey, the watermelon-sized bulge in my pants is not my oversized cock, it's my wallet."

In any case, most of the lies given for most rejections, like my car broke down, will backfire on you after a guy reads your outcall review which occurred at the same time.

[Bob McV]

Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow

Based on the varied responses, I'd gather that if you are able to reply, reply - don't ignore. That's reasonable and makes total sense, though it concerns me that some hobbyists seem to think that this is a realistic and necessary task for EVERY provider.

.:SNIP:.
EFN

I believe most everyone here would agree that the social contract dictates that if you advertise and someone queries that you should respond. Nothing happens in a vacuum.

Why would you not be able to reply? Lack of respect for yourself or your clients? Surely not because you are so busy. I know writing your book must take scads of time, but I mean you have time to post in this and other treads, so before you do that maybe you should reply to all the poor suckers that thought contacting you might get them somewhere.

[PervusMaximus]

Imagine the roles were reversed. Say that you contacted someone to provide x service that they advertized but they,for whatever reason, decided they were not going to provide it to you. How would you feel if they ignored you? How would you feel if the told you "We are not a good fit" How would you feel if they told you that because of X characteristic you have or because of Y behavior you have exhibited that they will not provide service to you.

Personally, I always prefer honesty. First of all it is much, much easier to respect. It also lets you know exactly where you stand with the other person. I also prefer straightforward talk, not all people and sadly myself included, pick up on hints. Any time you can remove ambiguity you are better off.

Ignoring someone when you have advertised a service you are offering can send a number of different messages.

Some would take being ignored as simply that the provider is busy an not available and to try again later. Because the provider is so busy, the call/e-mail/private message got lost in the shuffle. Some who make that interpretation might think that this is a "squeaky wheel gets the grease" situation and keep trying frequently until they finally get a response.

There are a number who consider that if a provider is not willing to give some sort of response then that provider either is immature, a flake, is not a professional, undependable, or does not know how to take care of business or is not willing to.

For some being ignored sends a message from the provider that says "potential client, in my eyes you are do far beneath me, you are not worthy of a response".

There are all sort of ways being ignored could be interpreted and most of them far removed from reality. But that is the problem with ignoring someone. You leave them to their own devices to come up with what that means; and in all likelihood it is not what you want them to come up with.

When you conduct business, even this one, it is important to maintain good customer service. It can make a or break a business. Again, think if you were someone seeking the services of a provider, how would you want to be treated?

[PervusMaximus]

On a related note, since you have posed the question and asked for feedback, I am going to give you some from my experience with you so far.

I saw your ad posting here and you seemed to be exactly the kind of provider I was looking for. You're cute and you have a list of activities that are just what I have been searching for. Your rates are within my budget. No one else offers the package that you do that fits so closely with what I want. I am ready to buy. I have contacted you several times via phone, e-mail and private message. The one time I did finally get a private message back from you was after trying to reach you and I ended up giving up and going with another provider. I had a good experience with that provider and I am sure I will see her again but at that time I was really hoping to see you. I still do want to see you because you do offer the set of services that I want. It would be nice to know if that will ever happen or not. How do you think I have felt about this? How would you have felt in my position. Would you be frustrated? Would you feel a little hurt or rejected or pissed off? How would you feel if you were treated in the same fashion? I think if you look at it from the customer's perspective, will will get the answer to the question you originally posed.

[TemptationTammie]

This could also pertain to those gents that put out requests/ISOs and the ladies that PM or reply in thread and never hear a response.
I've had a few guys actually respond with "Sorry, you're not what I'm looking for" or "Already found what I wanted" or even that I am too far from where they wanted. I respect these men. I would rather hear that I'm not what the guy is looking for and I'll just pass if I see them posting again with no hard feelings. But if they don't tell me that I'm not their type, etc, I may try again the next time they post, thinking that they found what they wanted already the last time.
I try not to ignore any reasonable request. I do tend to ignore calls if a guy makes me uncomfortable with too many questions or with how they are in text or talking.

[PervusMaximus]

Originally Posted by TemptationTammie

This could also pertain to those gents that put out requests/ISOs and the ladies that PM or reply in thread and never hear a response.
I've had a few guys actually respond with "Sorry, you're not what I'm looking for" or "Already found what I wanted" or even that I am too far from where they wanted. I respect these men. I would rather hear that I'm not what the guy is looking for and I'll just pass if I see them posting again with no hard feelings. But if they don't tell me that I'm not their type, etc, I may try again the next time they post, thinking that they found what they wanted already the last time.
I try not to ignore any reasonable request. I do tend to ignore calls if a guy makes me uncomfortable with too many questions or with how they are in text or talking.

You're right. Respect is very much a two way street.

[Sexy Katrina]

Originally Posted by MoneyManMatt

If you tell him NO, you only lose the chance to see that one guy. Be nice about it so you don't come off as a bitch.

If you flat ignore him, there's a chance that he says something that causes you to earn a reputation for bad TCB skills. How many times does a thread come up asking about a lady's TCB skills....well there's that guy that gives his 2 cents.

If you NCNS or last second cancel, you risk a NCNS review and lose the chance to see lots of guys...including some that you see if they asked to see you.

Great advice!

IMO,If there is a legitimate reason you don't want to meet them, I just tell them I'm sorry I don't feel comfortable meeting you. I try not to go into details. No one really likes rejection.

[fun2come]

Originally Posted by Sexy Katrina

Great advice!

IMO,If there is a legitimate reason you don't want to meet them, I just tell them I'm sorry I don't feel comfortable meeting you. I try not to go into details. No one really likes rejection.

well we all should be used to it by now... toughen up ... MOVE ON.

[Sexy Katrina]

Everyone on this board SHOULD have a little thicker skin. Still as a provider you wouldn't want the denied fellow to run around saying you're rude or a bitch.

[FS_ITC]

Originally Posted by fun2come

well we all should be used to it by now... toughen up ... MOVE ON.

Okay. I throw the bullshit card on this. I hear this kind of crap all day where I work.

What this says to anyone receiving it is: your feelings don't matter...i.e. you don't matter.

I think this thread was really about how to respect someone else's feelings when doing any interaction with them. There is a diagnosis for those how don't understand how to respect others feelings and it is not good (antisocial personality disorder not being the least).

I don't think you ever hear a mental health professional giving advice to just toughen up or get over it. Why? Because those repressed emotions will come out in other venues that could entail less than pleasant consequences. It is such a rotten stereotype with the father telling his son to just get over it. Boys don't cry. You know the drill.

Exactly how "tough" should we be? Tough enough to not care when someone around us is hurt? Tough enough to hurt others. Tough enough to... I hope you get where this is going. And I don't know how anyone could come to expect to be used to being ignored or hurt.

I have no problem with "moving on." That is a great idea. Not continuing to act as a victim is good advice. But you don't have to toughen up to do so.

Sorry, fun2come. I usually don't go off like this. Please don't take it as a personal attack. This is just one of those things I have seen damage too many people.

[fun2come]

May I direct you to the 5 agreements,
http://wakinggiant.wordpress.com/201...n-miguel-ruiz/

in particular:
DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Now reread your post, this is a primary and excellent example.
and THX for giving me the opportunity to quote the 5 agreements.

[FloridaShark]

Dudes always take rejection so well.

[PervusMaximus]

Originally Posted by FloridaShark

Dudes always take rejection so well.

Women don't always take rejection well, either. I don't think either gender has a monopoly on butt hurt.

[stikiwikit]

While I've never even seen you, don't know who you are and will probably never ever see you, I still know you are talking about me.

Just joking, but that is the way it is for many people, especially for those of us with slightly (or more) fractured egos.

If you don't want to see me because of my many ear hairs, I would prefer to know because I can modify that easily and there may be other ladies out there with similar feelings who won't see me or see me and think I am disgusting because of such.

If it's something I can fix and could be hindering my relations with others, do me a kindness and let me know.

[artdeco]

Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow

How do you personally prefer to be rejected when a provider you have requested time with is not interested for whatever reasons?

Do you want us to answer you no matter what, even if we reply with something you may not like to hear?

Yep

Do you want us to ignore if we're not interested?

No

I'm starting to think I'm one of 'these' guys as I've seen you once, both having a good time (I'm assuming). Even got a PM from you thanking me for the nice review. Have tried contacting you (PM,txt,email) but no reply.

Do you want us to be totally honest as to why we don't want to work with you or do you want us to be easy on ya and just say we aren't a good match without going into why?

Just a mild 'no thanks' with more detail if requested would work well...