Your definition please: Hobby Hubby?

[Aphrodite]

No Fun ;-). That is what he gets for his six month anniversary gift!

Well said, Space!! Thank you!!


I am offended by the notion that providers are incapable of handling, maintaining, and nurturing long-term relationships. Please serve me a bit more of that b.s. I have more too say...
But, it is way past my bedtime and.....nite!

[Guest062114-5]

Originally Posted by Spacemtn

Interesting topic and discussion!! I read some of this and I just !!!!

I just wonder when reading others if some are really as naïve as they would seem???? Consider the difference between a provider (someone who provides services, some sexual for a fee) and a slut (someone who fucks her companion on the first, second, or third date and continues every time she can get his pants off). We will contemplate a relationship with a slut (all the while denying to ourselves that is what she is), but not a provider????

Consider that you could meet a lady out and enjoy her company. Engage in conventional dating and learn to care for her, and never know what her day....er...a....night job really is. It could happen to any of us and unless she told us, we would never know......not even with the telltale scent of cockbreath!!!!!! Consider the possibilities?????????

It's like the age old question, "Do you know the difference between a prostitute and your wife?" You pay the prostitute to leave. You pay your wife to stay.

The self righteous are so conspicuous that I thought for a moment I was at a meeting for the Southern Baptist Convention!!!!!


Hmmmmmmm, interesting topic indeed!!!!! Hobby Husband, indeed!!!!


Spacemtn

Nicely stated...

[Unique_Carpenter]

Aphrodite’s phraseology is a better “fit” for the underlying concept that some call “long-term ATF”.
And yes, some folks are simply naïve. With others having attitudes that prevent them from experiencing the things in life that most folks smile about. I would think that without a friendship, that develops, no long-term relationship will occur, regardless of how folks first meet, or what business they are dealing with, inside, or outside, hobby. Something I have found interesting is how long-term friendships simply continue, regardless of whatever else may occur. And most of us clearly understand that having a friend smile warms the soul.
Loxly rates a TTF for his first sentence. And, he introduces “hobby family” which falls within the concept. So, do we now need to also accept the phrases hobby wife, and hobby spouse, as well?

[Loxly]

Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter

Aphrodite’s phraseology is a better “fit” for the underlying concept that some call “long-term ATF”. - Or ATFs based upon menu and venue.

Something I have found interesting is how long-term friendships simply continue, regardless of whatever else may occur. And most of us clearly understand that having a friend smile warms the soul. - Works in the RW as well. Many people I've worked with over the years, in various cities, I still see in my travels.

Loxly rates a TTF for his first sentence. And, he introduces “hobby family” which falls within the concept. So, do we now need to also accept the phrases hobby wife, and hobby spouse, as well? - Should we also include "Hobby Horse" for those that you need to pry off of their Symbian?

Later than you think? LOL I can still see Kenny singing that with Guy Lombardo!

Just a general view about the topic. Some things occur naturally between folks. When you start analyzing too much it takes away from the relationship and may even lead to its' demise.

[Spacemtn]

I got a PM from a lady who asked me some questions about the "Hobby Husband" concept. They were pretty introspective from a lady's point of view.

She asked me if I would post them as she was a little reluctant to do so. I thought I would re phrase some of them and see what others thoughts would be as I personally don't know how to answer them.

Is a Hobby Husband basically a boyfriend/SO you met hobbying?

How do you know if he is just a sweet talker who is worming his way to freebies vs fwb vs he really wants more then all that?

Who initiates the "next step" from hobbyist/provider (business) relationship to the next level??

Some interesting questions! Thoughts, anyone??

Spacemtn

[Claire She Blows]

I think a hobby husband is someone that the provider decides that he no longer has to pay. They click so well that she no longer wants it to be a business transaction. IMHO.

[Guest021716-4]

Originally Posted by Claire She Blows

I think a hobby husband is someone that the provider decides that he no longer has to pay. They click so well that she no longer wants it to be a business transaction. IMHO.

Then, they fall in love and have a great romance and friendship. After that... who knows.

[Guest021716-4]

I have had one hobby husband. I would have been happy to call my husband , in the real world. I have many BFE's, and one hobby BF...he says he still sees me bc I am a goofy bitch! See, we are that comfortable around each other. I consider him a good friend, conifidante etc. etc. But the hobby BF and the BFE's... No boundaries are ever crossed.

A hobby husband just happens to you.

[David.Douchehurst]

Whut 'bout a Hobby Sancho? Is thar such a thang?

[Zhivago52]

Great topic.

I'm in the midst of a LTR with my UTR ATF that I've been seeing for nearly 10 years. See her monthly if not more often. Never gets old or stale; always exciting and fun. Many factors make this work, but I won't bore everyone with the details. Suffice to say, a LTR is definitely possible, and we're are closer than any other hobby relationships she and I have. What I've observed is, like real life relationships, you get out of it what you put into it, and it has become very special as a result. The unspoken rule, perhaps, is that it is a sort of hobby-only/professional relationship that is discreet, and respects each other's privacy and real lives. Our respective hobby lives cannot blend into our respective real lives.

I cannot envision going freebee with her; but I suppose that's possible. I sorta get off a bit on leaving my little envelope, with us both knowing that I am owning her for my pleasure for a brief period. Kind of a turn on for us both.

As I get older, I stick with what works. I may visit others from time to time, but only those who I may have something in common with.

We've been discussing what term best describes....I call it being in "hobby love", but that could be a temporary thing. I suppose "hobby hubby" would be fairly close to that.

[Unique_Carpenter]

Originally Posted by Spacemtn

I got a PM from a lady who asked me some questions about the "Hobby Husband" concept. They were pretty introspective from a lady's point of view. She asked me if I would post them as she was a little reluctant to do so. I thought I would re phrase some of them and see what others thoughts would be as I personally don't know how to answer them.

Is a Hobby Husband basically a boyfriend/SO you met hobbying?
If we go back to Aphrodite's original Q, she does leave the definition open. However, if a relationship steps outside the hobby, do we not have to discontinue the "hobby" part of the phrase? There's a gal on this board that has as part of her sig. line: "I give good wife". This, I think, is an excellent example of the topic at hand. That said, I also know a couple sets of folks who have had friendships evolve in, and then leave the hobby behind.

How do you know if he is just a sweet talker who is worming his way to freebies vs fwb vs he really wants more then all that?
If anyone can figure out how to determine that, they could start their own advisory business on life partner coaching and retire as a millionaire rather quickly. But, perhaps 1st consider if you're interested enough to accept that person as a long term atf, and see what develops later.

Who initiates the "next step" from hobbyist/provider (business) relationship to the next level??
See the first sentence of the prior answer. However, see Claire's comment below. Although I disagree with her definition of hobby husband, I have to agree with the rest of her comments. Frankly, as with any dating relationship, both folks have to be up for it. The two I've seen, the gals accepted an invite for a date, date (yeah classic). These were both long term ATF situations to start with though.

Some interesting questions! Thoughts, anyone??
Spacemtn

Originally Posted by Claire She Blows

I think a hobby husband is someone that the provider decides that he no longer has to pay. They click so well that she no longer wants it to be a business transaction. IMHO.

Back to Loxly's Forest: Hobby Horse? Sigh, expected better after your first home run. I do still like Hobby Family though. That could go most anywhere.

[Blutoxoxo]

Well said Loxly, well said!

[Aphrodite]

Hi Blutoxoxo ;-) How delightful to be 'under' you!

I am enjoying reading the comments. If my wifi cooperates, I can respond to specific people, who bring up good points.

Yeah, I am learning that Loxly is right - don't over analyze, put labels on the relationship (as we women LOVE too do), enjoy the moments/encounters as they come, appreciate that person for WHO they are, and enjoy the fact that amazing people can cross our paths, in any number of ways...even via this crazy corner of the world. Go figure!


Aphro - looking for my matching toga - dite

[Loxly]

"Yeah, I am learning that Loxly is right"

Not necessarily. It's just what works for me. I had 30 years of having someone ask all those other questions.

"Why did she say that?"
"Why did you marry me?"
"Does this make my ass look fat?" etc. etc. etc.

I still have friends that I've known since the third grade. Why? Because we never ask questions. We just make statements

"What a dumbshit!" "You suck!" "ASSWIPE!"

Then we just go about our business or play.

[fun2come]

Originally Posted by Loxly

...
I had 30 years of having someone ask all those other questions.

"Why did she say that?"
"Why did you marry me?"
"Does this make my ass look fat?" etc. etc. etc.

I still have friends that I've known since the third grade. Why? Because we never ask questions. We just make statements

"What a dumbshit!" "You suck!" "ASSWIPE!"

Then we just go about our business or play.

True THAT ^^^^
Of course when we do this here we get pointed and Banned....

and then we go about our business AND play.