Why some married men cheat?

[Don Sanchez]

Monogamy was invented when life expectancy was much less than it is now.

Quoting from the 1985 film St. Elmo's Fire: "The idea of two people spending their lives together was invented by people who were lucky to make it to thirty without being eaten by dinosaurs. Marriage is obsolete."

[Stanfeld]

I learned in bible school that dinosaurs pre-dated humans by about 100 years, so they couldn't be the reason for the short life expectancy.

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by albundy

Um,,,,,,You do realize this is a site for renting pussy, right?

Absolutely, and I rent pussy all the time. I'm not married though.

If I were married, I wouldn't rent pussy. I wouldn't rent it because I had stood in front of family, friends, and whatever God I believed in, to affirm that I wouldn't cheat on my wife...and I'm a strong enough man to keep my end of that bargain, or void/modify that contract...unlike these cheating pussies...

To answer the OPs question...men who cheat do so because they're weak...because they're scared...and because they're ashamed. All things that prove they're less of a man than others...

[albundy]

Is this guy for real?

You rent hookers and talk about morality?!?

You wouldn't buy them if you were married. Yeah, easy to say. You don't know what kind of situation some of us are in. Easy to say "Just get a divorce" or "don't cheat". Life is rarely that simple though.

[pyramider]

Sure it is. The choice is yours.

[albundy]

Originally Posted by pyramider

Sure it is. The choice is yours.

No, it is not that simple. There are TONS of shit involved both personally and, of course, financially for both of us and our kids and other members of the family to consider. Living situations and, hell, a lot of other crap that I'm not getting into right now.

[Solitaire]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

No one forces anyone into the contract...they both do it willingly...because they're both fucking stupid...

Being fucking stupid, however, is completely irrelevant when it comes to abiding by the rules of the contract itself...

That's one point of view. But for some the reality is looking at a person they love, who insists that "if you really loved me you'd __________." It is coercive, which is a type of force. And when the blank is filled with monogamy, it is a type of force that is backed by all of society.

There are still laws on the books in many states making sex outside of marriage illegal. That, my friend, would be "force." (why do you think they call it en"forcing" the law) If you don't like the word force, you can use any other that describes what it is - making someone live out an existence that is unnatural to the realities of the human experience, and complete denial that there are other alternatives and ways to connect with other human beings.

You may think you are offering an "alternative" in a tough-love sort of way, but your viewpoint is a bit on the judgmental side, and just feeds into all of that coercion and denial, which is ironic, considering.

I think it would be more productive to push the truth of our existence, and provide a judgment-free zone whenever I can, so people can discover their own alternatives.

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by albundy

No, it is not that simple. There are TONS of shit involved both personally and, of course, financially for both of us and our kids and other members of the family to consider. Living situations and, hell, a lot of other crap that I'm not getting into right now.

And you obviously didn't think about any of these possibilities BEFORE you got married...or else you'd have not gotten married. But you did get married, you did stand in front of family, friends, your God, and your wife and enter into a contract where you wouldn't cheat on her...and now that's exactly what you're doing.

You're a weak excuse for a man...

Man up, tell her you're cheating, and see if she will either let you out of your contract, or modify your contract so she allows you to cheat on her.

[toledo20]

For me it's just to see and touch something different because I've been with the same Women for 30 years sence high school virgins.
So before I get to old I needed the opertunity to do so, sex is not a isue at home but it is nice to see something different. I was always a slow starter but now I feel like iam in my 20' again .
If I can only get it done a 100% I'd be reel happy.
Always was just scared to catch something.
Also sometimes I just get pissed off at wife.lol

[Solitaire]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Absolutely, and I rent pussy all the time. I'm not married though.

If I were married, I wouldn't rent pussy. I wouldn't rent it because I had stood in front of family, friends, and whatever God I believed in, to affirm that I wouldn't cheat on my wife...and I'm a strong enough man to keep my end of that bargain, or void/modify that contract...unlike these cheating pussies...

To answer the OPs question...men who cheat do so because they're weak...because they're scared...and because they're ashamed. All things that prove they're less of a man than others...

Ok, so we are all bound to the "social contract", which comprises of both written and unwritten rules that we are all expected to follow.

You cheat on this contract by breaking the written rules.

And somehow you think this form of cheating is more virtuous than others who break the unwritten ones.

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by Solitaire

That's one point of view. But for some the reality is looking at a person they love, who insists that "if you really loved me you'd __________." It is coercive, which is a type of force.

And anyone, when presented with a choice, can choose to say no. They fact that they gave into the coercion of family, society, the future wife, just shows how weak a person they are, and how much of a lemming they are. The fact the refuse to live up to those responsibilities afterward shows how much of a pussy they are.

Originally Posted by Solitaire

There are still laws on the books in many states making sex outside of marriage illegal. That, my friend, would be "force."

Show me...and show me someone who was prosecuted for it. Even if you can find one, the fact they live in a state where that law is in force doesn't force them into marraige, they have a choice to either not have sex, or move to a different state. There is nothing forcing anyone into marraige, there is only weak minded individuals who don't think about the consequences of their actions before making a decision, and then refusing to live up to those consequences after the fact. This isn't rocket science.

Originally Posted by Solitaire

I think it would be more productive to push the truth of our existence, and provide a judgment-free zone whenever I can, so people can discover their own alternatives.

Your "truth" is nothing of the sort. There is no "truth" in anything you've said. There is only what you believe. The truth here that can be backed up by facts and proven, is that these guys entered into a contract with their wife where the agreement was they wouldn't cheat on their wives. They're violating that contract. End of line.

[JohnnyYanks]

I never cheated on my wife and have always considered those who cheated on their spouses to be especially weak individuals. What is more sacred than a vow? Why make it if you won't keep it?

"But, but, but ..." Bullshit.

[bizzly1001]

married men who cheat are weak. Simple. Got it. Ok I am weak you are strong. There's a trophy somewhere for you. I didn't realize this would turn into a pissing contest.

I am not happy with all my choices. I got married against all advice at 19. I spent 17 mostly happy years with my wife, had two kids that I'd die for, and don't really want my life to change in any other substantive way. Divorce seems like throwing the baby out with the bath water just because I want to bust a nut inside a beautiful woman every once in a while instead of jerking off.

So, with the logic that married men who cheat are weak, then what about porn consumption. Are those married men who look at porn cheating then in your mind too?

[JohnnyYanks]

Originally Posted by bizzly1001

married men who cheat are weak. Simple. Got it. Ok I am weak you are strong. There's a trophy somewhere for you. I didn't realize this would turn into a pissing contest.

I'm not pissing and have no need for a trophy.

I made no claims as to my "strength." I did state I never cheated on my wife, which is fact. I also stated that others who do cheat are weak, which is opinion.

How is it that you find threatening a few words of fact and opinion from my life's experience?

You started this thread to explore the topic, but only under the confines of your facts and experiences, or those that you expressly agree with? Why bother (isn't a bit like taking a vow you've no intention of keeping)?

[bizzly1001]

Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

You started this thread to explore the topic, but only under the confines of your facts and experiences, or those that you expressly agree with? Why bother (isn't a bit like taking a vow you've no intention of keeping)?

No I started this thread to find out the rationale of other men in my shoes; not to be judged. Applying a label of "weak" to cheaters is an ad hominem attack in the traditional course of debate. But it was never intended as a debate. Merely a call to my brothers to hear what they want to say about their own behavior. Since you don't cheat as you say, then this thread wasn't really targeting you.