dear abby...advice

[Tony Gambino]

trust me when women team up on a guy....its lights out, they will work your ass into whatever trap they set for you, run from this vacation....tell your ole lady you realized you love her like no other, ...be her best friend ....or pay the price.....take her to a gun range, make her believe the change in you.....or pay in perpetuity for an internet hook up.........but please don't

[Laura Lynn]

I'd say act dumb. It's not like gents have a showcase on here with your body and/or face visible. So, hopefully you weren't stupid enough to send a face pic in any of your chats and if you haven't seen her bcd, she has nothing on you. Maybe you're just being paranoid. Taking a break from hobby might be the best thing you could do and make sure everything is deleted from your phone/computer/IPads.

Just remember, "Thou doth protest too much" denying too much can be seen as the opposite being true. So be careful on that deny deny deny advice

Just my 2 cents

[LoveNHorny]

Bored, what's up man. Been awhile.

So...I have a questions which would add some context, but I'll just make my comments:

1. Do you guys have a history of making friends with singles and going on vaca with them? If so, then it's just happening again with someone who might think she recognizes you. If not, then this is a big deal.

2. How close are they? Are they awesome gal-pals, sharing all kinds of things about their lives? Hanging out and talking on the phone a lot, with or without you around? If not, then your wife is prolly more intimate with, and trusting of, you not her. (How did they meet anyway?)

You might even mention to your wife that you find her flirty, and it's kinda uncomfortable or weird to you. On the other hand, if there are suspicions, and your wife knows them, you don't want to say that...like, it's fucking risky.

3. I actually read this yesterday, and I too thought you might be able to turn it into a 3sum. I had some funny shit to post about the opportunity. Are you so sure your wife isn't into it?? I mean you guys are going on a trip together. Many would think this is odd - big time - unless it a regular thing for you guys. I'm gonna disagree with THN on this one. I would not start being an ass. She's on to something that it would prolly help get rid of her, but it also is a sudden change in your behavior, which will only signal them. I don't think you want to do that.

My suggestion is play it cool. Comments about mutual privacy only reveals you might know stuff...makes it harder to deny. You need to start acting naive, confused, replying to her "probes" with weird uncertain faces that only convey that you don't understand what hell she's even talking about. Maybe even a laugh, like some comment might be something funny, if you even had a clue.

If you are confronted with anything, I'd make light of it like it's absurd, not deny it strong like your pissed and it's under your skin. Just be cool man, imo. Report back on how the trip goes. Could get interesting. Oh, and quit using that site for awhile.

Later,
LnH

[Walkin' Dude]

Just fuck her. Listen to the devil on your shoulder.

[GingerKatt]

Originally Posted by Walkin' Dude

Just fuck her. Listen to the devil on your shoulder.

______________

That'd be great IF that was what she wanted. Most of the ladies who have responded say Nooooo. The SO and her friend may WANT him to make a pass at the GF and then say, AH HA! GOTCHA! There's just not enough info here. I still think it's weird that he keeps going out with them. He should start making excuses not to go, or find one of his guy friends to fix up the other woman with.

[micktoz]

Sounds like too much fucking drama. I am so happy to be single again. Who needs this complicated shit.

[TinMan]

Originally Posted by GingerKatt

You're being set up big time. In all my 2 marriages and relationships, I never wanted my guy as a 3rd wheel on girls night. Either the wife is using her friend as a sexy decoy to see if he cheats, or the friend is setting him up for blackmail. Something's not right.
Here's an idea, STOP going out with them. It's weird.

Originally Posted by Tony Gambino

trust me when women team up on a guy....its lights out, they will work your ass into whatever trap they set for you, run from this vacation....tell your ole lady you realized you love her like no other, ...be her best friend ....or pay the price.....take her to a gun range, make her believe the change in you.....or pay in perpetuity for an internet hook up.........but please don't

This was what I was getting to in my earlier post, but perhaps more to the point.

LoveNHorny brought up one approach that I'd probably take if I was in your shoes (and if nothing of this nature has ever happened in your relationship): tell the SO that the friend appears kind of flirty and it's making you uncomfortable. If this is some setup, it's more likely to chill things down than blow up on you.

[bored@home]

Wow, there is so much good advice and so many views from different angles not previously considered, thank you!

I will try to give a quick digest and hopefully answer the missing pieces.

Chung: the profile update was after my oh shit meter pegged when she showed me the login page. The site is a sort of casual dating type site, the update was a knee jerk reaction to put some distance and in hindsight not the brightest.

Tinman: The SO picks up new best friends, couples and singles, pretty much semesterly. We have gone on vacations with both sets before so not out of the norm.

Ginger: We're on the same wave length of the potential pitfalls but I have huge doubts on my SO's involvement...but still keeping a watchful eye.

Lnh:
1. Yes,
2. Your description is spot on with the close gal pals part. /school&work
3. 100% she is not into her that way & playing it cool is the course

LL: never sent any pics but my profile pic there WAS dumb...

FBU: you know your thoughts on this may have some merit, something I hadn't considered...but there might be something there. Thanks!

To recap
Play dumb, check
be cool with a touch of asshole, check
If thing begin to turn...Deny deny deny, check check

"Fuck her": thats a negative ghost rider
Divorce: if it happens it at this stage in life(empty nesters), ehh but still knock on wood.

[Guest092216]

I agree with LnH too. Excellent advice! Good luck b@h. Please keep us posted on how it goes. Hopefully it's a minor scare that proves uneventful.

[Ass Hunter]

It isn't worth a divorce. Kids or no kids she will still take off with half your money and shit. I seriously think you're being setup. What are the odds of your wife just happening to make friends with some random chick from whatever site? Answer is slim to none.

You need to make some very wise decisions here. I would try to rub this chick out of your vacation. Just take the wife and make her feel like the most important person in the world until she believes it.

[TinMan]

It sounds like, though, that friendships/vacationing with single women is not out of the ordinary with b@h. In that case, I'd play it cool and not act out of character. But since this woman has acted a bit differently, expressing some discomfort over her flirty nature is probably the best course.

Don't make it a big deal, but you think the SO ought to know. Hopefully, the SO will decide on her own that this may not be the best person to remain friends with and will cool down the friendship herself.

[JLanister]

I like the idea of trying to fix her up with someone else. It indicates you are not interested in her or she's not your type.

[pyramider]

I still say to plow that pussy ...

[pmdelites]

i agree w/ the "drop hints to the SO that the GF is acting flirty."
rather than say the GF is not your type [unless she really isnt], ask the SO what's going on? has the GF mentioned anything like that to her? is the SO curious in getting it on w/ the GF? is the SO interested in a threesome w/ you and the GF?

more of a "i can kinda guess what might be happening. but baby, you're the one i wanna be with. is this something you want to happen?"

that way, the burden is on the SO to either
a) fess up and the threesome delites can begin (maybe a trial run before the vacation. that way, if either of you dont like the GF, you can cancel plans before the vacation. similar to seeing a provider a few times before setting up an overnight or a trip out of town].
or b) put the quietus on the GF so you two can have delites w/out a 2nd pussy aroudn to fuck things up [and all the stuff that comes w/ it].

good luck!!!

[Find Your Joy]

I've gone on vacation with a SO
I've gone on vacation with my SO and other couples.
I've gone on girls only vacations.
NEVER have I invited a single friend to a vacation I was going on with a SO.

Only a foolish woman brings a cute single girl on vacation with her husband .

So either your wife is foolish or something else is afoot. Only you know the answer to this.