When do you say something, and when do you keep quiet?

[Claudia Cole]

I'm with you on this one!

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I think what this mistress did was not on a very high level of interaction, but posting things like this on eccie is catering to exactly what she wants. A fight and a lot of attention.

But this is the exact place we can air situations that we all encounter. As I have said before this is like standing around the office water cooler and shooting the breeze, talking "shop." It has prompted some good and interesting responses including yours. This to me is why eccie/D&T is here.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Or posting things on eccie to get several strains of opinions :-) for one situation. Calling people crazy is the easiest way out and i`d want mistresses and courtesans and escorts like us beg to differ a little more. Especially because some people might call us crazy too for doing what we do :-).

I *wish* people would call me crazy, then that would explain my sometimes goofy behavior.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by SR Only

But this is the exact place we can air situations that we all encounter. As I have said before this is like standing around the office water cooler and shooting the breeze, talking "shop." It has prompted some good and interesting responses including yours. This to me is why eccie/D&T is here.

Yes true, i never meant to say its a bad thing to air things like that, i don`t want that to be misunderstood. All i wanted to say is that it IS actually doing something other than ignoring already. WE are already part of the game. It`s just the question whose game it is, really. As i stated i don`t believe that new mistress is the sole evil here. She might be, but i doubt it. So - if the message to the provider is to ignore her then we have done a bad job already :-). That is what i wanted to say. My point.

Personally, i am all for NOT ignoring. My reason for that is empowerment. If you let people - scuse my french - take a crap at you and don`t answer accordingly - then you might end up the whipping boy at many times. Its about respect. And responsibility.
So i think its good that this thread exists, and i am happy to participate in the discussion.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Loyalty is one of the most sought after qualities in human existence. Especially by wealthy people who always have that niggling fear that people are only catering them for their wealth. Your friend has two advantages that the "understudy" doesn't have: she knows the client intimately, and she's earned a certain amount of trust over the years.

So what if they've had a falling out? Not all relationships are perfect. But she can at least show him her loyalty. He may appreciate that more than she knows.

That is actually also my point. The mail might cater to old mistress more than to new one. So i carefully might adress that it might be a game old mistress plays? It just sounds too dumb that one provider would write an email to some escort for no other reason than dating a gent for a single time. I am too much of a psychologist to believe such little things stirr up THAT much of emotions. I believe that there is a history and not all we are told is the whole truth. At this point no one could really say what is happening except the involved parties. And that again might be three different stories.

that is all i am saying. We don`t know who new mistress is, who old mistress is, what games they are playing, how they know each other. We don`t know how the client puts fuel into the fire. It might well be that old mistress is jealous of new one and also tries to destroy the relationship.
We don^t know that. Lauren stated she does not even know that person really good. So it`s all too second-handish to really believe its the whole truth. That is all i am saying. Cave Canem.

So my point is that people should refrain from being so judgemental and chasticing and calling someone CRAZY based on the insufficient forms of informations we have. That is what i am trying to say. The one who is free from flaws throws the first stone. People might have their reasons for doing stuff that is beyond our comprehension simply because we lack the necessary information to judge. To call their reactions CRAZY is a bit shortsighted. I don`t like to put the world into black and white thinking and into good and bad people, and strongly believe that this mistress, whoever she is, and whatever her motivations are deserves to be treated with the same respect like we all like to get treated.

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

First of all your friend felt something, even if it wasn't "threatened," if she took the effort to reach out to you to seek your counsel.
.

Very true, good point.

[Camille]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Well, i`d stop short to play judge jury and executioner on some other persons behaviour like that . As Lauren pointed out, the story is really nothing more than a second or even third hand story, so who knows what REALLY happened. In my experience the client must have played a huge role too. No one seems to judge him . Seems the one who pays $$ is always innocent :-) ?

I think what this mistress did was not on a very high level of interaction, but posting things like this on eccie is catering to exactly what she wants. A fight and a lot of attention. And i assume her client is not innocent of putting fuel into that fire as well. It seems to be likely he just got the new mistress to offend the old one and the new mistress put that game on a different level wiht her strange reaction. If the original provider does not want to response to what this newbie lady did, then now this newbie got plenty of response :-). Its already way past the stage of "just ignoring" since everyone plays into that game already. Here she got the biggest response by far :-).

Life is not so easy and calling people crazy without having sufficient background information is something i consider wrong and spiritually very unhealthy.

Who knows if "old" mistress is telling the truth? People lie on every occassion. Stories mostly have more than just one side, we all know that. Who knows what really happened, who knows why she wrote that message? Its too much of a second or third hand story to really judge in terms of mental illnesses. Its a system of interaction and there is most likely not only one person to blame. Who knows if old mistress is as innocent as she likes to be portrayed? In my case for example the new mistress very much liked that i informed wife of my ex, and thought he deserved it, but officially towards him she was also pretending to be outraged, while in reality i was catering to her sense of revenge for what he did to her as well. Later on , HE even told me that he is kind of reliefed that his wife knows about new mistress so she does not have the illusion of being the only one. So overall, my need for empowerment and revenge catered to also two other people :-) - some men need immense help with making a statement towards their wives and some free mistresses need a lesson in feminism and empowerment :-) . so - my point being: you can`t judge interactions between people based on second hand stories. Its most of the time more complicated than that. Plus, it strikes me as a but suprising that someone like this new mistress would write an email like this out of the blue and out of any kind of context. Does not sound REALISTIC to me. I don`t think people that stupid do exist :-). So i tend to believe there is more behind that story than what had been told to Lauren. And we have to be aware of that.


People lie, and sometimes the one who "acts out" caters to a fight that everyone wants to fight. Ever considered that part of a system of interaction between people? Posting stories like that in the www is not behaving better or more wise than attacking an old mistress with an email that lacks courtesy. Its the same kind of battle. Why don`t we just all write to her and degrade her a little? As a revenge for her degrading old mistress? (just kidding)

If within a family system one child gets bulimic you don`t necessarily blame it on the bulimic child, but look at the whole system of interaction gone wrong, and set stage there. a symptom is a reaction towards something more. People interact different with different people. It would be wiser to step aside from quick judgements and differ a little more.

Just my five cents. There should always be a reason of doubt. If judging was so easy then we would not need attorneys, lawyers, courts and whatnot.
Or posting things on eccie to get several strains of opinions :-) for one situation. Calling people crazy is the easiest way out and i`d want mistresses and courtesans and escorts like us beg to differ a little more. Especially because some people might call us crazy too for doing what we do :-).

*sigh*

Nina. My very first point was that it is impossible to know what triggered the email...what conversation took place. I gave an example of something happening that not all parties are privy to. The possibility that the woman is also a trouble causer also exists. They are merely possibilities which is why the word "might" was used. There is no judge and jury. It is just the same as you saying this "screams" of manipulation. You have no way of knowing that either. We are suggesting possibilities. If you don't like that this was brought to the board then why on earth did you reply in the first place suggesting such things? Confusing.

Camille

[NinaBrooke]

dp

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Camille

*sigh*

If you don't like that this was brought to the board then why on earth did you reply in the first place suggesting such things? Confusing.

Camille

I never said that i don`t like that this is brought to the board. I think my response was a little more about ignoring versus giving a response. and about calling people names like "crazy". Surprises me that after all these things we discussed here about common courtesy for the past weeks the level on the D&T thread still seems to be calling people names and easy judging. I thought we all should try to maintain a little higher level than that? Or does common courtesy only include people that are subscribed to eccie? I don`t understand? But the ones who don`t read on here we can call crazy or something else? Confusing?? Yes.

I am personally for discussing things like this and not ever for ignoring issues like these . Ignoring things is getting victimised. I am all against that.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I thought we all should try to maintain a little higher level than that? Or does common courtesy only include people that are subscribed to eccie? I don`t understand? But the ones who don`t read on here we can call crazy or something else? Confusing?? Yes.
.

To answer that question: Yes! Sad isn't it?
We'll have to ask SRonly

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Claudia Cole

However, I do not particularly enjoy being the contrarian in the room- but I would likely hit delete, and let it go.

Originally Posted by Claudia Cole

A pronounced lack of proper conduct will ill manners shall have already quickly made themselves apparent! Her true colors will come through. At the end of the day, a person always demonstrates whom they really are.

Very well said Claudia. That is exactly what I would do.

[bestoralntexas]

Imho, the "Mistress" if she were me, would never let on to him, of the email or any animosity existing. I know in general to expect to do some schooling and training. And in order to keep and maintain my seniority, dominance of my "understudy" will be required; & that my understudy may be an unrefined hooker. Just my view-probally not politically correct. sorry in advance.

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by Camille

*sigh* Nina. My very first point was that it is impossible to know what triggered the email...what conversation took place. .... If you don't like that this was brought to the board then why on earth did you reply in the first place suggesting such things? Camille

Originally Posted by ninasastri

and about calling people names like "crazy". Surprises me that after all these things we discussed here about common courtesy for the past weeks the level on the D&T thread still seems to be calling people names and easy judging. I thought we all should try to maintain a little higher level than that?

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

We'll have to ask SR Only

I have already posted that I think this was a worthy thread (and I do in my non-mod opinion).

You ladies, Camille, Nina, and Naomi, will have to be punished with a foursome with me, a few bottles of wine and very little clothing. I think that is an appropriate way of resolving conflicts. Matter of fact getting naked is a solution to many things here at eccie. All in favor, say "aye!"

DG put down the popcorn.

Back to herding cats.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by SR Only

I have already posted that I think this was a worthy thread (and I do in my non-mod opinion).

You ladies, Camille, Nina, and Naomi, will have to be punished with a foursome with me, a few bottles of wine and very little clothing. I think that is an appropriate way of resolving conflicts. Matter of fact getting naked is a solution to many things here at eccie. All in favor, say "aye!"

DG put down the popcorn.

Back to herding cats.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

----- If someone I don't respect doesn't see my point, I can't say I much care, they aren't important. They deserve nothing, and should get nothing - this woman (I feel) doesn't deserve to have her existence acknowledged.---------

-------We all make mistakes, working through them and granting forgiveness builds strength between two people---------.

I do not understand these two statements. Well I understand them but not together. One so Godly and the other so brutally harsh.

I agree with dg btw. Discard and move on.

[Leta]

Yes she should tell him.