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lisa.lisa0302 · 02-25-2011, 01:04 PM

Run Lana Run

Don't tell him, if he asks, well don't lie......keep things smooth and easy.

If he is a hobbyist, well put your puma's on and run faster. Never works.

How about this, try being alone for a bit, go out for an occasional lunch or dinner, some coffee. And no questions asked booty calls. I would not suggest dating in the hobby, its a juggling act, you are Lana, and whoever you outside the hobby, the person with your family and whoever you are with your friends. Exhausting.

Find a nice boy toy and have some fun........sexy mama.

OldTimeBuddie · 02-25-2011, 02:01 PM

L:

I can't believe you're already cheating on me -- I've only been out of town for what, 8 weeks?

You know I'm kidding you, hunni.

I've always seen the hobby as being a play from the POV of the provider: you're being paid for the illusion of passion, just like if I have a role as a romantic lead (yeah, that happens every day: I'm mostly the comedic sidekick) I am being paid to convince the audience I'm in love with my leading lady.

The only real difference is you have an audience of one at time.

And while a relationship with a performer can be ... complex, I would not be with someone in a "real" relationship who had a problem with what I do.

Looking at it from a provider standpoint and given the very real dangers which may effect my partner, I couldn't conceive of hiding something so important from them, anymore than if I were a fireman I'd avoid telling my partner I run into burning buildings, even part time.

If there is a problem with that (or one develops), then *that's* the time to address it. "A" liked to gossip about this or that cast member, but when I told her I'd rather not, she respected that. Communication and respect -- those are what matters.

elgato111 · 02-25-2011, 02:32 PM

I can not speak from experience since I have never dated a provider, but have met one or two that I would have considered dating if she had been interested as well.

As others have said, Lana, relationships can be, and are, very complicated between men and women no matter what you do for a living. But what you do for a living does not define the type of person you are in your personal life away from the "job".

Men can be real bastards when it comes to wanting to know everything there is to know about the woman they are interested in. Some want to know about all your past/present lovers and all the details. Why? Personally I don't know since the past is past and does not mean the future can't be more rewarding and enjoyable.

For me personally, if I were to date a provider who was still working the biz, I would want to know that for her it is only a "job". I would like to know exactly how she feels about it and what she wants out of it and how she thinks it might effect our personal relationship. After we have this discussion then there is nothing else to talk about except how much we enjoy being together and what we both want or need from each other in the future should the relationship continue to grow.

One of these days Lana you hopefully will find that one special man who will appreciate and love the real you. Just don't give up, there is always hope that your shining knight on that pure white horse will appear when you least expect it.

ItalianaPrincess · 02-25-2011, 03:18 PM

Elgato - you are my hero!

That was awesome!
XOXO,
ItalianaPrincess

FishGuy13 · 02-25-2011, 03:32 PM

Lana,
I feel for you. I am not the jelous type and *think* I'd be ok with it, as long as I knew she was safe, on all levels. I recall one time asking a provider to lick my ear as I was getting close, she just said, 'no that is a RL BF thing only the same for kissing on her lips'. Like someone else said be complety honest with him, work is work and there will be things you do at work you don't do at home and things you do at home you don't do at work. Say you don't want to talk about it any more now, perhaps later, perhaps never that you just wanted to be sure he was ok with what you do or have done in the past. Men, people, don't always get 'hints' it is hard but spell it out IF this realationship is to work we stay at the holding hands stage until YOU are ready to GIVE of your self or he can pay up and the personal side of things is over and he is just a client. Don't be rude about it but be firm, and leave it at that, and at the end of a nice time out say at the movies let him think about it for I'd say around 2 days. When next you meet ask if he thought about what you said, of course he will have and he will just say ok or perhaps ask a few questions -- if you are ok answering them ok if not, say nicely but firmly no I am not talking about it. If he tries to make a move before you are ready, again nice but firm no not yet if he keeps on still nice but a little firmer say any more and it is date rape or you want your full fee, when what ever time is up for how ever much he say just say sorry hun time's up you have to get ready for the next customer or other personal time and let him know he will always be 'on the clock' from then on if that is the route he wants to go. We pay for your time, no matter what we get to do with 'Lana' it is for what ever time we have paid for, cute MILF we dream about at the store is just that, just like any other civie what ever her name is. I might point out that if you two go fwd you could say something like you might be open to going to a swinging club after you retire. Best of luck to you what ever you both decide.
OH and follow your gut or that little voice in your head or what ever, it is there for a reason...

AlinWaxahachie · 02-25-2011, 03:47 PM

Just another perspective.....

We started out as friends. She was dancing and providing outside the club. I was never her client. Just a friendship that developed into much more. We both wanted something traditional / special. I didn't want to be just another guy in her life and I didn't want to share.

The good - there is nothing better than being in love. The experience is definitely worth the effort. We had two amazing years together.

The bad - whenever her past interfered in our present. Being out in public and her being recognized by one of her former clients.

I never brought up her past, on the contrary, she was the one who would talk of going back to dancing and \ or providing whenever there was a problem between us. Almost like a constant threat hanging over our relationship.

If only.....we had met a few years earlier.
If only.....we had moved away from this area to truly leave the past behind us.
If only.....

Jack Nicholson · 02-25-2011, 03:55 PM

+1 on your avatar but IMHO don't tell your BF unless you want to quit!

Neiman · 02-25-2011, 03:58 PM

What a Catch 22. You need someone that is not going to run because of what you do, yet, someone that doesn't like the idea of it. But even if someone is into you enough to stick around it will probably be a sore that gets rubbed often.

As for using it as a way of getting rid of him, as you've discovered, bad choice. It's always best to be honest. A simply "I'm just not feeling it" will do. Any decent guy will respect your feelings, one that doesn't isn't worth you worrying about hurting his feelings.

Not sure if I've told you Lana, but I actually have some experience with this :-)

Neiman · 02-25-2011, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adrianna Love

The best advice I can give you is to hide it from him... I know lots of providers that do that and they get away with it

OK, IF you are wanting to find a loving, worthwhile relationship I can't disagree with this more. If you don't have Honesty you don't truly have loving and worthwhile.

But, IF you're simply interested in something casual and far less than that I suppose a "little white lie" wouldn't be so bad.

I truly feel for you ladies. Dating is tough enough for the mortal, you Angels have it even harder :-(

OldTimeBuddie · 02-25-2011, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neiman

OK, IF you are wanting to find a loving, worthwhile relationship I can't disagree with this more. If you don't have Honesty you don't truly have loving and worthwhile.

^^^^^^^ this + 1,000,000,000,000,000,000

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neiman

But, IF you're simply interested in something casual and far less than that I suppose a "little white lie" wouldn't be so bad.

Oh, you mean like the hobby...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neiman

I truly feel for you ladies. Dating is tough enough for the mortal, you Angels have it even harder :-(

Yes, feeling up the Angels here does make it ha...

Wait, that's not what you meant.

Carry on...

Neiman · 02-25-2011, 07:42 PM

LMAO OTB :-)

fawn · 02-25-2011, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lana Warren

Well, I've been a long time member of the Lonely Hearts Club and I guess I should run for presidency since I can't seem to get my act together when it comes to love!
I'm really struggling with this! Wish someone could shed some light on why I do this! LOL!

Lana, we have talked about this on numerous occasions....You are looking for love way to hard girl, when the time is right it will find you....You want this so badly...You look around every corner of every room for a man to acknowledge you.......I have seen you do it....Please just slow down and find yourself first and figure out who you're again..since you're marriage ended you have been trying to find a replacement....And honey it doesn't work like that....No matter how much you want it to.....I have been where you're....and I know where you're headed....The is the only advice I can give you, and it will get better in time..I promise my friend....

LuckJack · 02-26-2011, 10:28 AM

The is the only advice I can give you, and it will get better in time..I promise my friend....

Listen to Fawn she is wise

Lana Warren · 02-26-2011, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuckJack

The is the only advice I can give you, and it will get better in time..I promise my friend....

Listen to Fawn she is wise

Hell LuckJack, I have no choice but to listen to the old broad! I always respect my elders......remember she's ONE year OLDER than me! LOL!

Oh, she's right and so is everyone else! Thank you all for your wonderful advice.....very much appreciated!

After doing alot of soul searching, I have come to realize that I'm just not ready to have any kind of long lasting relationship until I let go of the previous baggage that I have been lugging around for years! I'm working on it!

Love y'all bunches!

Randy4Candy · 02-26-2011, 12:38 PM

Hmmm, well it's hard enough to keep a relationship out of a bar ditch if the context is "only" about the usual list of challenges. Now, throw in being a provider whose WORK is having SEX (among other things) and the necessity to unwind from the rigors of work coupled with him being "intrigued and 'all right'" with it might become a bit much.

It's a timeless tale told time and time again where circumstances interfere with the couple getting together. It's just that there is a HUGE opening for self doubt leading to distrust and second-guessing on both sides, though I'd say moreso by the man due to his lack of understanding.

If, poly-whatever was what the majority could really deal with out in the open, then we'd be doing it as societies all over. We would have evolved in that direction instead of evolving as we have as societies. Yep, there exceptions but they are just that, exceptions.

People are never completely up front, especially initially, about their entirety as beings. We are always filtering our self presentation depending on the situation. Yes, at some point when the relationship evolves, your part time job may need to come out if you plan to continue it after the relationship reaches the point of significant commitment but I'd say that would be later rather than sooner.