EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES

[incognito isis]

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Totally!!

I felt like he should have paid me more to put up with that BS even!

OMG I'm so glad you decided not to see him. Let me tell you, your mental health is more important than money. I'm sorry, but not letting you watch t.v. is just disrespectful!! I understand the man paid you a certain amount for your time, but your still a human. That guy didn't care about you, he just wanted to use you for all he could and drain you mentally. Those types of clients are the worse. You made the right decision by cutting his off. I'm curious though, what his reaction was and how you explained that you wouldn't see him again.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by incognito isis

You made the right decision by cutting his off. I'm curious though, what his reaction was and how you explained that you wouldn't see him again.

Well to be honest I made up a really lame excuse but I'm sure he figured it out after I deleted him from my facebook. He's no longer into hobbying but hunting for free sex / seeking love on sd sites.

[sixxbach]

That is why I really don't do GFE. I am not one looking to cross the line.

I like physical vampires though, I love it when the vampira licks my neck before she takes a bite....

sixx

[discreetgent]

Very informative discussion on which ladies to book or not book for longer dates.

[acp5762]

Being needy or clingy is not a matter of being single or married. It's a matter of not having ones self. Without having ourselves, being self reliant one cannot have a successful relationship with anyone. As we go through life people will come in and out of our lives. If we rely solely upon others for our self worth then in reality we have nothing. But if we have ourselves, and what I mean by that is, if we extend ourself to others and bring something of ourself to their life and also cherish what others give to us, then we can never be needy or clingy.

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by acp5762

Being needy or clingy is not a matter of being single or married. It's a matter of not having ones self.

Brilliant

[incognito isis]

Originally Posted by acp5762

Being needy or clingy is not a matter of being single or married. It's a matter of not having ones self. Without having ourselves, being self reliant one cannot have a successful relationship with anyone. As we go through life people will come in and out of our lives. If we rely solely upon others for our self worth then in reality we have nothing. But if we have ourselves, and what I mean by that is, if we extend ourself to others and bring something of ourself to their life and also cherish what others give to us, then we can never be needy or clingy.

A true philosopher, I love it

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Well to be honest I made up a really lame excuse but I'm sure he figured it out after I deleted him from my facebook. He's no longer into hobbying but hunting for free sex / seeking love on sd sites.

Wow. I guess all along he was seeking love. Either way, he sounds like a self absorbed, mentally draining weirdo. Let the sugar babies handle him, if they can lol.

[Ginger Doll]

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Most definetely not. Most of my dates were multi-hours and I really did enjoy them. I enjoy men that KNOW what they are getting into. Men that realized that I was an escort and understood the NSA aspect of all of this.

I deleted my initial comments but I will repost...

I will have to admit the first time I was booked for a multi-day engagement I did not understand why someone would want to spend that much time with me. However, I enjoyed it.. as in REALLY enjoyed it. I loved the whole experience. The second time was WITH the same guy and it was then that I started to notice that multi-day engagements were not for me. I was emotionally drained by this man. He demanded wayy too much from me. He wanted love again and wanted to marry (after meeting once before/emails and phone calls lol) which was something I could not give him. He wanted to control my every move during our time together. I could not turn away from him for a minute or he would throw a fit. I could not look at the tv for a second. Keep in mind that this was 4 clock free dates in a row and not a one hour appointment

As I posted before, while we were together he would let himself into my hotel room. I woke up one morning and he was standing before me. He asked the front desk for a key and they gave it to him. This happened twice and like a good little provider I did not complain. I felt the need to cater to his fantasy/experience/whatever the hell it was he thought we had together. All this while I felt smothered and violated. I even called a provider friend of mine to talk to her because about the situation because it felt like I was in a prison almost.

Marshall, before this man I had lots of clock-free dates and they all went very well. I enjoyed longer dates. I enjoyed my time as a provider but this particular situation was VERY uncomfortable for me. When it was time for us to part ways, I was ecstatic. I was so happy to go home and lay on my bed. This man made all of his problems mine ...I wanted to cry. It was like he blamed me for his marriage failing. He would say things like "This is all your fault" whatever that meant. It got to a point where I didn't want the money anymore. There was no amount of money he could have paid me to see him again. After the horrid 4 days together, he wanted to spend another week week me a month later and I told him "NO".

Sounds like my diary from the past several months...Except my client wanted to control my life in between our dates, as well. He emailed, called and texted non-stop. He demanded immediate responses or threatened to cancel future dates. He had no understanding of anything except what he needed now, now, now...and I better drop what I was doing or else. Outings with my kids, personal family emergencies...nothing stopped him. He was extremely jealous of reviews, even eventually demanded I not display my showcase or avatar picture. He even tried to get me to resign from Eccie. He didn't want me watching TV, either. Anything that took a second away from him, no matter what it was... He was like a 2 year old in a senior citizen's body. I honestly feel he looked at me as a favorite toy that he owned. He had to have looked at it as ownership, or his behavior couldn't have been justified, even by him.

I can really identify with what you felt at the end of the date. I wanted to do a cartwheel. One time I actually did! I've never served a prison sentence, but I imagine the feeling you'd get the day you're finally released is identical to what I felt at the end of one of our weekend dates.

I could see where it was steadily developing more and more potential for danger...so I cut it off. I let it go on too long, really. Initially, I was blinded by the money...but eventually I couldn't even get excited about spending it.

I value my sanity over monetary compensation, any day of the week. I value it even more so, now, because I temporarily sacrificed it.

[guest060112-3]

I think the emotionally needy people I've run into in all my experience as a club and party dancer leans towards not greatly socialized male in later years who's lonely but has never been able to forge connections with people, or ones that last any length of time. Typically starts out with a lot of excitement as he "feels" a connection with you, and then quickly after a couple hours or a couple visits starts to feel like you're only there for the money, or that you can't possibly find him funny or interesting in his own right. Partially he's right, but also you can see how he would sabotage himself in this manner with a civilian woman due to his low self-esteem and hang-ups from not being able to connect with people in the past. Pushes for relationships that do not involve money. Quickly sabotages himself in this manner, though might vacilate back and forth between flights of fancy involving you two, and growing resentment that he knows in his heart of hearts that they won't ever come true. Stops spending money on you, but does not however, stop calling, texting, emailing or otherwise demanding your time in some form. Will invite you out to bars or places to "hang out" but this is just his attempts at moving the relationship outside of the money-for-time realm. Very likely after a couple of calls/texts/emails, to start bitching at you for being a bitch, for only being in it for the money, and basically slinging names fed out of self-hatred. After you tell him to stop contacting you or else you'll get the police involved, he'll stop...for awhile, and then pop up out of the blue and contact you like you guys are friends and nothing has happened.


However, women too can also be emotionally needy vampires-- they tend to be divorced after a lengthy marriage that involved kids, had some form of verbal abuse or unhealthy relationship like excessive codependence with their mom. Her ex likely was a self-involved bastard who was fine with having a wife with low self-esteem, but cheated on her, or embezzled their savings, or completely ignored her needs as a human being. She typically goes on to adopt a lot of pets to fill the void that she has no capability of training or taking adequate care of which results in a pissy smelling house, or complaints from her neighbors about barking. There's low self-esteem issues as well, along with loneliness, and in some cases this is heavily exacerbated by depression. There's an inability to manage finances, as they put all their money into buying love from friends, family (kids), or dealing with their pets' vet bills. They form a martyr complex and like the male version, can never see how their negative patterns and failure to deal with THEIR contributions to their lifestyle are the real problem, not how their son back talks them, or how the dogs can't seem to potty train themselves, or how men their age don't find them attractive.

While it's true that it's possible to be married and be emotionally needy, I find that it's almost impossible in this age of divorce to find someone to stand such a person without a very good reason why, like money in relation to standard of living.

[guest060112-3]

Originally Posted by sixxbach

That is why I really don't do GFE. I am not one looking to cross the line.

I like physical vampires though, I love it when the vampira licks my neck before she takes a bite....

sixx

I give a to all of the above.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

He emailed, called and texted non-stop. He demanded immediate responses or threatened to cancel future dates

I deleted my first response in this thread but ......I think we are talking about the same guy... lol. This is exactly what he would do. On top of enticing me with a brand new car, a new home and a "awesome" new lifestyle where I wouldn't have to provide anymore but act as a "second wife" to him.. he would text and text and call me non-stop and actually expect me to give him my time for free. He tooo was jealous of reviews. He would get a upset at the fact that there was a certain "act" I wouldn't engage in with him but with others.

In all honesty though, I think he was seeking free sex. Yes he enticed me with a new car, a new house and x amount of money a month but towards the end of our relationship, it was very clear that he wanted me to have sex with him for gifts.
When I realized that, I started to play damage control. I wanted OUT and fast!

When I tried to explain the way he made me feel, I almost felt like I was the bad person. I blamed myself for a long time until I realized that I wasn't the problem.. he was and he needed help!

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

Very informative discussion on which ladies to book or not book for longer dates.

Excuse me but I don't think you quite get it. Did you even read this thread? It is about "emotional vampires". If you are an emotional vampire then I see how you would have a problem with what have been said. Let me refresh your memory: We are talking about men that cannot control their emotions, men that tried to take control of our lives and would try to take advantage of our free time, men that abused our privacy and at a point made us feel smothered and violated.

I don't know how YOU are but I do know that there are a lot of men that can spend multi-hours with a provider without crossing the line. A lot of men forget that this isn't match.com, eharmony or chemistry.com. This is all supposed to be a fantasy. From the moment the funds were made available, I was a a temporary girlfriend, second wife.. or whatever else the man wanted me to be. However, when the money is not there and he wants me to act as a "second wife"/counselor, of course there will be problems.

If this thread stops an emotional vampire from booking with any of the ladies then wonderful! I wouldn't spend time with such person for free! The hobby shouldn't replace therapy and it's not the place to be looking for love.

[Ginger Doll]

Naomi---same guy, probably not. But they do sound like Siamese Twins.

On your comments to Discreetgent, +++1.

Really, Gent?? Torture is not on my menu.

[discreetgent]

More and more informative. I never thought I would thank Marshall for starting a thread lol

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

Naomi---same guy, probably not. But they do sound like Siamese Twins.

On your comments to Discreetgent, +++1.

Really, Gent?? Torture is not on my menu.

Only emotional vampires will have a problem with this thread. LOL!