BOYFREINDS – and Open Relationships

[Guest061111]

We have met friends who have been in the lifestyle for over 20-30 years. It can work as long as there is honesty and security. One has to know the difference between commitment and recreation.

I met a wonderful man through onlinebootycall.com (please don't laugh - I wasn't really looking there). We had very open conversations from the beginning, and he learned of the hobby early on also.

Some people are just not wired for monogamy, despite the best intentions. I know where my heart is, but a girl likes some strange at times, too!

[JohnJohn]

Originally Posted by Grabazz

We will not hear from them because there aren't any.

Their relatonship will have a 3 month to 2 year lifespan.
I know of many who have tried and none that succeeded. Unless success is a codependent, miserable existance.

Darn it, there's always one that has to be the exception to the rule and mess everything up, isn't there!?

A select few ladies in the hobby know my wife and I and we've managed this for WELL over 20 years. Started the swinging lifestyle way back and we still love each other to death. Friends playfully tell us, "You make me sick" and "Get a room" because we still appear to be like newlyweds at times.

I don't know the answer to all the questions posed here. There isn't a magic formula either. It is not something that can be explained in a few paragraphs. Just had to stand up and be recognized as proof that WE do exist...and we know others too.

Lana...we've met non-BCD and I found you to be more than just a beauty in this sea of cuties. There's much more to you than what's on the outside. You can PM me anytime you feel like it.

[PapaBear]

Girlfriends in the hobby like me, i dont know about that, but i would give Babydoll a chance if she wanted tooo.

[Guest030617]

pls papabear, you wish!!!!!

[badhusband]

Ribbit, ribbit

Originally Posted by M A X

hey there Naive...LOL I kid I kid

Open relationships can be great for those who can actually keep things in perspective. In some ways they can be more work than a committed relationship. You must really KNOW your partner. Doesn't hurt to explore your options. Also, monogamous relationships can be great for those who truly desire that type of relationship. I've done it and it was great while it lasted, but we won't go into that story....LOL

Ginger....no one wants to get hurt, hon. You definitely won't if you don't try, but you might also miss out on something great and life lasting if ya don't try. It's hard to invest time and energy into someone just to find out it's not gonna work out, but we've all been there......some more than others. Life is short and I, personally, do not believe we were meant to be alone, no matter what our proclivities are. So, date around and try to find someone as like minded as you are. Always remember to stay true to who you are and what your desires are...best of luck.

Oh, and ya definitely gotta kiss a few frogs before you'll find your prince !

[reesec]

Originally Posted by Jobe0111

My opinion is quite simple. I just don't see how anyone can have a true relationship and still feel the need to have variety in their sex life.

If two people agree to have an open relationship, it's not much more than a f-buddy arrangement.

Call me naive, just how I think.

+2.....I wouldn't be with or feel comfortable with a man that would be comfortable with me being in this biz. I would never believe he could love me and be okay with sharing me.

We all know when arguments get heated, we tend to fight dirty and say the things that we can't take back. Physical scars disappear and you forget they were ever there. Emotional scars are an entirely different beast.

Also, I would never want to be in a position where I would have to lie and hide what I do from a SO. I do believe in Karma. I don't need the extra anxiety of a continuous lie to a SO.

I am not lonely but I am alone, and with the holidays around the corner OMG I'd just like to sleep through it all and wake up on New Year's Day! lol

But, I digress......Just my .02.
Best of luck to you and I hope you find what your heart needs.
Be careful though. Eyes wide open.

[GingerB]

WOW.....I must say that this thread has brought more insight and knowledge than I could have found in three days of googling!

Thanks to all of you who have contributed. All of the information and opinions are so enlightening. It has been an eye opener!

Also, the PM's I've received....thank you! thank you!

I feel now...there is definitely hope in me finding the right soul mate...and partner....with which openess can be achieved.

It is understandable, as I read through the many posts here....that there must be confidence....love....dedicati on....and balance. Also, RESPECT....in a big way.
I'm not so hot on the swingers lifestyle....and do not particularly want to make that a staple of the mix. However we work it out, I'm sure with complete caring and understanding....we can reach a goal that is comfortable for both.

Please....if there is anyone else that would like to share....bring it on!

ECCIE members....are awesome....thank you!
xxoo
Ginger

[BossyWillson]

Originally Posted by reesec

+2.....I wouldn't be with or feel comfortable with a man that would be comfortable with me being in this biz. I would never believe he could love me and be okay with sharing me. .

As a client, If he found you in the hobby, was ok with it and you wanted to stay working in the hobby. I would believe one in every 20K could love you and want to share a live with you as an open relationship.

So with 1.2M people in dallas, 600K being men.
There are 30 men in dallas that could do it..

[OldTimeBuddie]

.

DFWPOLYTALK@yahoogroups.com, and I would be more than glad to escort you to the monthly dinner tomorrow @ Cafe Brazil in Richardson -- no strings, just some really fun folks who (generally) have more than one sweetie and make it work: first rule -- fully open and honest communication.

PM me if you're interested.
.

[Gonzo DFW]

Well, Gonzo has been in more than one of these relationships. Maybe it can work, long-term, if you both just give each other the room to go your separate ways (!) on occasion. But frequency in these situations breeds frustration and discontent. Inevitably, one or the other gets jealous, envious, etc. Maybe you can make it work. Gonzo cannot, so he doesn't try anymore.

[PapaBear]

Originally Posted by babydollsnow

pls papabear, you wish!!!!!

Since you said please.

[reesec]

Originally Posted by BossyWillson

As a client, If he found you in the hobby, was ok with it and you wanted to stay working in the hobby. I would believe one in every 20K could love you and want to share a live with you as an open relationship.

So with 1.2M people in dallas, 600K being men.
There are 30 men in dallas that could do it..

lol....Why thank you for the stats, 30? That many? lol
I think I'll continue to feed my loneliness with my addiction to endless shoe shopping for fierce high heels (my crack) lol

[CenterLock]

Originally Posted by reesec

lol....Why thank you for the stats, 30? That many? lol
I think I'll continue to feed my loneliness with my addiction to endless shoe shopping for fierce high heels (my crack) lol

Beware Reese - I hear one of those 30 owns a shoe store....

[am-a-pleaser]

Originally Posted by reesec

+2.....I wouldn't be with or feel comfortable with a man that would be comfortable with me being in this biz. I would never believe he could love me and be okay with sharing me.

We all know when arguments get heated, we tend to fight dirty and say the things that we can't take back. Physical scars disappear and you forget they were ever there. Emotional scars are an entirely different beast.

Also, I would never want to be in a position where I would have to lie and hide what I do from a SO. I do believe in Karma. I don't need the extra anxiety of a continuous lie to a SO.

I am not lonely but I am alone, and with the holidays around the corner OMG I'd just like to sleep through it all and wake up on New Year's Day! lol

But, I digress......Just my .02.
Best of luck to you and I hope you find what your heart needs.
Be careful though. Eyes wide open.

Reese,

Sometimes two people meet and fulfill the strong desires of each other. I believe that love goes beyond physical interaction. It involves real emotion. That depth of emotion is lacking in the exchanges that occur in this hobby. I think we all know this.

A confident man would know the depth of your love when you give it to him. He would love others to admire you, knowing he had your love, not them. A little jealousy is good. I have many other thoughts, but mainly it comes down to two people and how their relationship works.

btw, not everyone fights dirty or uses words to inflict cruelty. It seems like those who do that, are insecure and are trying to harm the one exponentially more than the hurt he (she) feels. It takes a mature, self-controlled person to hold back.

Love is unconditional.

[OldTimeBuddie]

Originally Posted by am-a-pleaser

Reese,

Sometimes two people meet and fulfill the strong desires of each other. I believe that love goes beyond physical interaction. It involves real emotion. That depth of emotion is lacking in the exchanges that occur in this hobby. I think we all know this.

A confident man would know the depth of your love when you give it to him. He would love others to admire you, knowing he had your love, not them. A little jealousy is good. I have many other thoughts, but mainly it comes down to two people and how their relationship works.

btw, not everyone fights dirty or uses words to inflict cruelty. It seems like those who do that, are insecure and are trying to harm the one exponentially more than the hurt he (she) feels. It takes a mature, self-controlled person to hold back.

Love is unconditional.

.
QFT

Altho I disagree about jealousy: if I am with you on a personal level it's because I *trust* you, and jealousy is the antithesis of trust. This is coming from someone whose first marriage (basically high-school sweethearts) ended because I'm an actor, and she decided (without mentioning it to me) that even the chance that I might be kissing someone on stage meant I was cheating on her. No trust anymore == it was over.

I was then, after a long period of recovery, in a very LTR with a young lady who just so happened to work at as an .... exotic dancer at several upscale men's clubs in the 9+ years we were together. My liver is not now thanking me, but I used to *love* going to watch her @ work: "yeah, she's being all sexy and flirty with you: but *I* know who she's going to be falling asleep next to tonite."

I've spent the years since then trying to find someone I trusted that much, and hobby because I can't and (while precautions must be taken) there are no strings here.

Sometimes I miss the strings.


No, I *always* miss the strings.

Here endeth the maudlin review of my life.
.