Why do those with wives/S.O.'s hobby?

[Booth]

Originally Posted by dammit

But why do most of the committed relationship men hobby for sexual gratification?

I'm pretty sure you answered your own question there.

[cmspec]

I don't have any problems at all with my SO. Absolutely none. For me, it is simply put "a break from reality"... I don't tell her about. I consider it an indulgence...

[dammit]

Oh, wait, now you seriously don't mean that do you? Honestly? Easy? easy for who? the guy or the wife? So, you are saying it is the wife's fault that there is no sex, no intimacy, or sheer boredom?

Seriously? A divorce that could cost someone thousands or hundreds of thousands a year for a divorce is CHEAPER than a, lets say, $300 hobby experience? Is that really emotionally cheaper when you have to face the wife day-in/day-out knowing what you did, knowing that the money you spend derived little Johnny/Susie from another part of their college education? Is that really cheaper??

want to reconsider that answer? honestly, what I read into your answer is that guys are lazy, want something different and rather than work with their so/wife to actually discuss it and work towards a common goal, fuck the so/wife - lets get a piece of tail on the side for a couple of hundred bucks since it doesn't mean nothing, won't eat at your conscience, and, seriously, who does it really hurt?

[Ranchhand156]

Ok, I shouldnt do this, but cant help myself. It is none of
my damn business why you hobby. On the other hand it is
none of your damn business why I hobby. Who in the hell
made you the moral majority? Who are you to question why
anyone does anything? I dont inquire about your life, and
really dont care, so stay the hell out of mine. Lets make a deal. Mind your on business,and I will mind mine. I will not reply to any smart ass remarks you have too make. Im out.

[Baloney Pony]

Originally Posted by dammit

It was suggested I start a new thread on this topic rather than hijack another thread...so, here goes....

Why do those hobbiest's here hobby rather than focus their efforts on their wives/so's? Oh, I know some have medical reasons that they proclaim prevents them from having a serious, sexual relationship with those they say they love till death do them part. But why do most of the committed relationship men hobby for sexual gratification?

In light of the recent *alert* thread post about the scorned wife, honestly, is it that hobbying is easier than working towards a committed personal relationhip?

I actually can't relate as prior to my late wife she shared my carnal desires and we soutght and spent many a night with like minded others. SO, the researcher in me is really curious....

Originally Posted by dammit

Oh, wait, now you seriously don't mean that do you? Honestly? Easy? easy for who? the guy or the wife? So, you are saying it is the wife's fault that there is no sex, no intimacy, or sheer boredom?

Seriously? A divorce that could cost someone thousands or hundreds of thousands a year for a divorce is CHEAPER than a, lets say, $300 hobby experience? Is that really emotionally cheaper when you have to face the wife day-in/day-out knowing what you did, knowing that the money you spend derived little Johnny/Susie from another part of their college education? Is that really cheaper??

want to reconsider that answer? honestly, what I read into your answer is that guys are lazy, want something different and rather than work with their so/wife to actually discuss it and work towards a common goal, fuck the so/wife - lets get a piece of tail on the side for a couple of hundred bucks since it doesn't mean nothing, won't eat at your conscience, and, seriously, who does it really hurt?

Howdy, Folks!

Yup - first, we have a widdle innocent post, "puhweez, I'm just curious..."


Then, we find out that what's really going on here is someone trolling for ammo so they can then be sanctimonious, self-righteous, and judgmental toward folks who are simply attempting to enjoy a Hobby Discussion and provide what they feel are enlightening responses.


Curious research my ass.

Originally Posted by dammit

I'm not arguing one way or the other...I'm just really curious as to why those with wive/so or husband/so hobby...

Bullshit.



This thread should be locked - but left for future reference so folks know who the trolls are.

[Booth]

Someone asked in another thread what's all this talk about "don't feed the trolls". This thread is an excellent example of why it's not a good idea.

[JennsLolli]

Originally Posted by Ranchhand156

Ok, I shouldnt do this, but cant help myself. It is none of
my damn business why you hobby. On the other hand it is
none of your damn business why I hobby. Who in the hell
made you the moral majority? Who are you to question why
anyone does anything? I dont inquire about your life, and
really dont care, so stay the hell out of mine. Lets make a deal. Mind your on business,and I will mind mine. I will not reply to any smart ass remarks you have too make. Im out.

Yeah. What he said. Exactly what he said.

[gptxman]

I can't speak for the rest of the guys doing this with out their wives knowledge but for myself and the rest of us in open (swinging) relationships it is a fun out that we can enjoy. If I can find the right girl(s) that I feel my wife will enjoy too then we will return to see her together if the provider and my wife are into it.

[nuglet]

Originally Posted by gptxman

I can't speak for the rest of the guys doing this with out their wives knowledge but for myself and the rest of us in open (swinging) relationships it is a fun out that we can enjoy. If I can find the right girl(s) that I feel my wife will enjoy too then we will return to see her together if the provider and my wife are into it.

YEP YEP YEP. good for you gptxman. We're the same!! In the long run, it's cheaper, safer, and easier than scouting the civies!!

[dammit]

Sorry, baloney pony, wasn't trying to troll. Besides, if you read my caveats, I really didn't understand "why" until reading the thread ,I found some interesting response. The honest ones were interesting, especially the reply about being polyamourus. I liked the overview wikipedia definition of polyamourus as:

The defining characteristic of polyamory is belief in the possibility of, and value of, multiple romantic loving relationships carried out "with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned."What distinguishes polyamory from traditional forms of non-monogamy (i.e. "cheating") is an ideology that openness, goodwill, intense communication, and ethical behavior should prevail among all the parties involved. Powerful intimate bonding among three or more persons may occur. Some consider polyamory to be, at its root, the generalization of romantic couple-love beyond two people into something larger and more fundamental.
People who identify as polyamorous typically reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are necessary for deep, committed long-term loving relationships. Those who are open to, or emotionally suited for, a polyamorous lifestyle may be single or in monogamous relationships, but are often involved in multiple long term relationships such as a triad, quad, or intimate network.
In practice, polyamorous relationships are highly varied and individualized. Ideally they are built upon values of trust, loyalty, negotiation, and compersion, as well as rejection of jealousy, possessiveness, and restrictive cultural standards.[5] Such relationships are often more fluid than the traditional "dating-and-marriage" model of long-term relationships, and the participants in a polyamorous relationship may not have preconceptions as to its duration.
Sex is not necessarily a primary focus in polyamorous relationships. Polyamorous relationships commonly consist of groups of more than two people seeking to build a long-term future together on mutually agreeable grounds, with sex as only one aspect of their relationship.

Interesting concept that I tend to find out more about.. In the mean-time, to any I've offended I apologize...

[Onceler]

Originally Posted by Miss Sophie Bella

We build intimate, loving, egalitarian relationships because it's what we crave when we're seeking security

Nothing sexier than a woman using words like egalitarian. Miss Sophie... I like.

As I stated earlier, reasons for hobbying are personal. Assuming someone in a relationship hobbies because they do not spend time or invest in their "real" relationship is generalizing and a misinformed viewpoint. Indictment against anyone without correct information is simply ignorant.

Onceler
...you watch your phrase-ology...

[buffhunter]

Originally Posted by dammit

IBut why do most of the committed relationship men hobby for sexual gratification?

ANSWER: For sexual gratification...

NEW QUESTION: How long is a piece of string?

[knotty man]

Originally Posted by BuffHunter

ANSWER: For sexual gratification...

NEW QUESTION: How long is a piece of string?

now thats too damn funny!! you made me shoot chewed up cheetoes out my nose you asshole

[nuglet]

that's simple, it's allllll the way from one end to the other. Kinda like there is no such thing as a "line". Only a line segment!

[Artie Lange]

My SO's vagina is the same one she had last year.