Ladies Who Require a Hobbyist's Real Life Information

[AdventureAdams]

Originally Posted by TxBrandy

Some screen to be wary of BOTH LE and the violent types. We check references to try to ensure you are not some serial violent type, we ask for real names to try and verify employment and google you to TRY and make sure you don't have a criminal record or are listed somewhere as Officer soandso.

So yea ok, "many, many serial rapist/killers have no criminal records whatsoever, until they are caught.... IF they are ever caught!" Well I WANT the sonofabitch to get caught! Fine, he comes up clean because he has no record because the dead or beat up lady is just a whore anyways and probably didn't know his real name so he just disappears to go be violent with someone else. Fuck that! I can destroy notes AFTER the appointment but if I never get back to do that, I want the bastard outed, caught, and FRIED so that he never does that to another woman. It's not just about protecting ME.

Ok re reading that I sounded kind of flying off the handle there. Sorry. I have no problem not knowing what your real name is as long as you have SOLID references. It's the newer guys that we worry about or those that make up references.

I swear you are just taking the words out of my mouth, thanks for putting it more eloquently.

[AveryMoore]

My thought for both clients and providers is that if you have your whole life to lose in being "caught," don't do it. At all. I've come across some intensely paranoid men who would have done themselves a world of mental and emotional good if they'd sought out another outlet that made them less terrified. (Ditto for providers who've suffered horrible consequences after they were "outed.")

With that said, I think a healthy sense of caution around one's personal information is necessary and healthy. I understand completely why someone may not want to give their legal name and workplace, even though that's the requirement for meeting me. The only time I get irritated is when I'm approached by someone who ignores my screening process in spite of how much I emphasis it. (That's just rude and a waste of both of our time.) I've have a few bad experiences—nothing catastrophic, but stressful and scary—that led me to be absolutely firm about this, even when someone has a good reference from a provider I know and trust. I have my reasons, and, as Gryphon illustrates, there are many clients who can understand and respect that. Those are the men I want to see.

As for the idea that the provider is risking "little or nothing," that's willfully stupid. Plenty of providers may use a fake first name with their clients, but they work out of their homes or a rental in their legal name, use their credit card to advertise, have a website registered in their name, etc. (No one should revel in a false sense of security—maybe you didn't give your provider/client your real name, but did you drive your car with the plates registered in your name to their location?) And no one should be foolish enough to think that LE targets providers and clients in equal numbers. (The providers are always at a higher risk.) Furthermore, plenty of providers have families, including a spouse and children, just like you. There's no use getting into a battle over who is risking more, but I'm shocked at the idea that some clients would believe their companion has taken no personal risk in order to serve them.

I always think of it as cooperation, a joint exercise in trust, when I see a client. We've each risked something to meet the other. It's good to appreciate and honor that.

[John Bull]

Originally Posted by Ansley

John I can't believe you just made that statement. Great you have been married 40 years. My life and well being trumps your 40 years.

No Ansley, your life and well being are very important to you and to me but my concern has to be my family and they are every bit as important to me as your concerns are to you.
Here is another way of putting the point: Over the years I've seen 38% of the ladies who have Showcases on Eccie from Ohio. There are others who are members of Eccie who have no Showcases but I won't count them. Some of these ladies are among the most respected in the biz in a much wider area than Ohio.
Now, couple that reference potential with my P411 membership and if that isn't enough, then I'll just have to pass.

Originally Posted by TxBrandy

Exactly! Fine if LE wants us they'll get us. I'm less concerned with LE than I am with freakazoids who hated their mama's and carry a bloody hatchet in their car. To them, we are the "lost women", the "ones that won't be missed", the "disposable ones". It's why so many serial killers go after prostitutes. Sure, usually the streetwalker types, but the criminals are getting smarter and using technology now also.

Surely you understand that having what you think is the real name of someone you're going to see doesn't really equate to it being the real name. Cops have been playing that game for years and so have some hobbyists.
The very best protection a lady can have, and I think we're all concerned with that, is references from known providers. Even that isn't 100% but it's the best you're going to get.

[TxBrandy]

Ok as I stated this is with the newer guys.. not concerned with people like you John who have references out the wazoo, I can make an informed decision in that case without concerning myself if whether or not your name is real.

Whether I receive a real name or not, whether they have a fake ID or not, it's SOMETHING. It's a starting point for LE to investigate. It's better than saying "fuck it" and let just anybody come in. Should we just not bother with it since it may be fake? I don't think so. Didn't you have to give your real information to P411? Or are you allowed to provide false information to be listed as a client there? If that's the case than the site is compromised.

If a client ever kills me or beats me up so bad and leaves me for dead, be sure to also check out my hands and under my fingernails and my teeth. You can bet I'll be grabbing for some DNA from his ass somewhere.

[MrGiz]

Originally Posted by AveryMoore

My thought for both clients and providers is that if you have your whole life to lose in being "caught," don't do it. At all. I've come across some intensely paranoid men who would have done themselves a world of mental and emotional good if they'd sought out another outlet that made them less terrified. (Ditto for providers who've suffered horrible consequences after they were "outed.")

With that said, I think a healthy sense of caution around one's personal information is necessary and healthy. I understand completely why someone may not want to give their legal name and workplace, even though that's the requirement for meeting me. The only time I get irritated is when I'm approached by someone who ignores my screening process in spite of how much I emphasis it. (That's just rude and a waste of both of our time.) I've have a few bad experiences—nothing catastrophic, but stressful and scary—that led me to be absolutely firm about this, even when someone has a good reference from a provider I know and trust. I have my reasons, and, as Gryphon illustrates, there are many clients who can understand and respect that. Those are the men I want to see.

As for the idea that the provider is risking "little or nothing," that's willfully stupid. Plenty of providers may use a fake first name with their clients, but they work out of their homes or a rental in their legal name, use their credit card to advertise, have a website registered in their name, etc. (No one should revel in a false sense of security—maybe you didn't give your provider/client your real name, but did you drive your car with the plates registered in your name to their location?) And no one should be foolish enough to think that LE targets providers and clients in equal numbers. (The providers are always at a higher risk.) Furthermore, plenty of providers have families, including a spouse and children, just like you. There's no use getting into a battle over who is risking more, but I'm shocked at the idea that some clients would believe their companion has taken no personal risk in order to serve them.

I always think of it as cooperation, a joint exercise in trust, when I see a client. We've each risked something to meet the other. It's good to appreciate and honor that.

Avery.... that might be the best post in the whole thread, so far!

Giz

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by TxBrandy

Didn't you have to give your real information to P411? Or are you allowed to provide false information to be listed as a client there? If that's the case than the site is compromised.

All sites, including P411, DC, ECCIE, Eraps (I could go on) are compromised.

[TxBrandy]

I didn't mean in that way silly....

[littlejoe]

The arguments for both sides are valid. The problem is this...

Hobbiest John knows that he is honest, trustworthy, and safe. He knows that he is not LE, violent, a scammer, or a criminal (sex offender or otherwise). He knows the provider is risking nothing by seeing him. So why should he assume all the risk by giving out personal information.

Provider Jane knows that she is honest, trustworthy, and safe. She knows that she is not LE, violent, a scammer, or a criminal. She knows the hobbiest is risking nothing by seeing her. So why should she assume all the risk by seeing someone who is unwilling to give out their personal information.

It's a catch 22: by the time you feel confortable enough with someone to share personal information, it's no longer needed. It's an imperfect world. There is no easy, one-size-fits-all answer.

Everyone must act in accordance with their own safety needs.

[GinaXXX]

Didn't you have to give your real information to P411? Or are you allowed to provide false information to be listed as a client there? If that's the case than the site is compromised.

Clients who are established in the community and have provider references do NOT have to give their real information to P411.... and regardless, even those clients who do have to initially give us their private information do not have that private information kept on file.

The only thing we have stored on P411 members is the Client Id and hobby email.

We're truly not concerned with WHO the members are, only that they are legitimate clients with a decent reputation in the community.

Sincerely,
Gina

www.preferred411.com

[urhuckleberry]

I presented my DL to one provider who let me know in advance she would be asking to see it before the session began. I also knew this was going to be part of her screening system from reading the provider's numerous (glowing) reviews and was prepared for it.

Her reason was simple - a photo ID would confirm my identity and the birthdate in P411 info. The provider glanced at my DL and handed it back to me. Unless she has photographic memory after a 90 minute session, my info was long ago forgotten...

After the session began and we were both recovering, she shared several examples where stolen P411 / Date-Chek info was provided to make a date, but when the client ID didn't match, she left immediately.

Upon arrival, this provider even "cased" my room, looking for interlopers, cameras, wires, etc. before proceeding. Ever have a provider check the room's microwave? She was the most security conscious lady I ever met...

Did I like sharing this RL information? No

Will I do it again? Depends on the provider's M.O. and reputation...special circumstances only.

H

[RebeccaRothko]

I've never successfully scheduled with any client that has called himself a "hobbyist" in our communication, nor have I ever successfully scheduled with a potential client that balks at giving my required screening information, also they usually send me long emails about how long they've been "hobbying" and why I don't need to know their info to see them. Funny thread topic.

[John Bull]

Originally Posted by TxBrandy

Didn't you have to give your real information to P411? Or are you allowed to provide false information to be listed as a client there? If that's the case than the site is compromised.

Gina answered that better than I could have.

The subject was broached about how the provider is to know that the man standing in her room is the one who provided whatever info was mutually agreed upon. I'll tell you how I do it when the subject comes up.

If the provider tells me in advance that she is concerned, I send her a PM from my account to hers. That cannot be faked. I can do that before we meet to confirm that it was me who set the appt or in addition to that, I can bring my laptop and log in to Eccie in front of her and let her see from the site that I am who I said I was.

Though this is a bit of a bother, it is perfectly alright because it gives the provider that little extra bit of comfort that makes us both happier in the long run.

Please understand that I have always been and remain a strong advocate of Provider safety. In my many years as a mod, I've seen things that would curl my hair should I have a bit more. I know the lengths to which some "hobbyists" will go to put providers under their control or to scam them or even to physically harm them. But. I do believe most strongly that there are better, more secure ways to be safe than to ask a client to give up his safety.

[Ansley]

After security and LE is said and done, do y'all worry about seeing somebody from your real world?

[TxBrandy]

Originally Posted by GinaXXX

Clients who are established in the community and have provider references do NOT have to give their real information to P411.... and regardless, even those clients who do have to initially give us their private information do not have that private information kept on file.

This is also how I run my business in most cases. Give me solid references, the best way to contact them and how they will remember you and I don't care if your name is Tom Dick Harry Jr. There are clients who I initially ask to give me their private information if I have no clue who they are and they are NOT established in the community. We are almost talking apples and oranges here. Mr. Bull, more than likely I would not ask for your personal information as you are a long time respected member from here and other boards, I'm sure you have impeccable references. If you were a concern to the community by being possible LE or violent I'm sure it would have been found out by now.

Along comes JoeSchmoe, registered yesterday, no references. Ok, what do I do? I can ask him to sign up for P411, have them check him out and wait.... ok but he still wouldn't have any ok's.... what can I do to feel safe to see him? (not me personally, but for newer providers who may not know how to handle this because hobbyists are advising him to disclose nothing).

And Gina, I apologize. I in no way meant to diss P411 or question your practices. I only used it as an example when the guys were saying they could and do fake names. I meant to question if they would do that with your service also if they were unknown and you required personal information. Re-reading it I realized it didn't come across the way I intended.

[MrGiz]

Originally Posted by Ansley

After security and LE is said and done, do y'all worry about seeing somebody from your real world?

I believe it would probably be pretty shocking for us, both! But no.... why should I worry, when we're both in the same quandary? I would think we should both be able to laugh it off, and enjoy the surprise. Actually.... it might lead to an eXXXtremely erotic affair!!

Giz