Quote:
Originally Posted by bloddybastard
Nina, Qziz,
I am newbie here and stumbled over this interesting (and rather offtopic) discussion. Commenting here was not what I had in mind when joining Eccie 
I believe you are not talking about the same. "Romance" is by definition
a. A love affair.
b. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love
c. A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something
I guess Nina, that an escort is at least selling c. to the hobbyist. I had the pleasure to check your site. Congrats. You at least aim for b.(first part) I am citing you:
“I aspire to touch your soul, and create an unique and special relationship that lasts for a long time and becomes more interesting and intense the more often we see each other.”
I guess most hobbyists will (want to) believe to get a version of a. when escorting you to dinner and evening amusement. And I do perfectly understand them.
Your native language is german, isn´t it? I guess “Romanze” sums it up quite well. http://www.duden.de/rechtschreibung/Romanze
Sorry for being a wise ass. Nina, are you horny now?  I guess you get that pun a lot...
bb |
Hello BB!
Thanks for joining into the discussion, and thanks for finding this thread interesting enough to make your first post on eccie..
Horny as hell, my dear
.
Loved your take on romance and thanks for quoting me. You are right about the take on point 2 in your observation, but - I strive for creating profound relationships based on the exploration of consciousness using sex (as in tantra practice or sex magick) as a tool to create a chemistry and broadening your horizon, as a transformatory power to your personality, as a dare-ground and safeground for exploration. Love , the kind of romantic love, is not part of that relationship. I do believe there are other realms or powerful relationships based on mysticism, Tantra and Spiritual aspects of Alchemical transformation processes (Rubedo, Nigredo,,,,etc.) possible , too.
See it as a seminar for personal development, and such.
Here is another quote that might be helpful from my page to understand the difference between romance and a charged encounter., This is based on the hypothetical thought that an "Amour Fou" or "Secret Love" (which is not love per se) relationship might occur:
"It is possible that a secret love/amour fou relationship develops given the right amount of chemistry and intimacy. In my private life I am an openly polyamorous person that does not combine love with money ever, but given certain circumstances (all of those that demand secrecy) I will be available under paid agreements only. Given the intricacies that such a secretely shaped relationship offers, it is hard to find truly consensual solutions that are beneficial for all parties involved, so a financial arrangement helps to prevent unnecessary emotional drama and conflicts"
Thanks to this thread and the profound discussion of it, I might reconsider using the word "Love" at all within the context of this. Fact is, I do believe that a profound likening and "coup de foudre" - (Love at first sight, which is a kind of psychological collusion based on facts of personal triggers to personal development, rather than real love based on knowing of a person and getting through bad and good times) - can very well develop between a - here made for married clients - and escorts. But the payment is mandatory due to the fact, that this is not a full-grown two sided responsible relationship, but a relationship based on restrictive demands of - I assume - minimum one person.
hence my argument of love not being existent in it`s "pure" form, because these restrictments do influence a growth of this coup de foudre into something else, to speak in easier comprehensible terms: If you have a flower that grows, it processes many stages to bloom, then goes again, and blooms again.
In limited relationships based on "Amour Fous" or "Coup de foudre" this growth is "stuck" at some stage and does not move. Then it dies. Then the search for a new coup the foudre at the same stage begins. Hence the fact that wives stay and lovers (specially secret ones) come and go. It`s kind of natural. People like some stages at some points in their life, but eventually get frustrated or bored of being "stuck" and the impossibility of development poisons such relationships in the long run.
This has been shown by history, and many literaric explorations of this topic as well. It`s not invented by me, it`s what any human being can read and re-read in personal histories of certain relationship styles. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but most likely , there are not.
This is why I personally do not agree with "escorts selling romance" because it is a surefire tactic for sabotage and poisons the v
ry thought of romance per se, and the Idea of Love and it`s basic meaning and consequences. Which are the consequences of having many possibilities of developmental directions within a relationship, that are not "there" when relationships are naturally limited by very restrictive intricacies. So, it`s not Free to float naturally, hence .
I do believe you are right, that clients do search for much more than just physical realms, but I still consider the nuances within that realm , even is similarites occur (you pointed them out wonderfully in your definitions of romance...) and the "love" part inherent in this definition is lacking.
I do agree that clients (and escorts) search for a special connection. Some might indeed be infatuated enough to delude themselve about love or similar. But , reality proofs that, if you follow that thoiught further, you might wonder, why anyone charges money, if the encounter is sincere and "romantic" or "loving".
It is this imbalance of "Power" in "Input and Output" that renders love impossible,
since love requires minimum two individuals to meet each other "naked" and not "in disguise". The financial aspect, and the therapeutical aspect in a relationship serves as a disguise.
Once people take the real consequences for their actions - and see each other "naked" as in taking all defences or materials of delusions "off", then an escort would not need to charge and clients probably would either be divorced or openly polyamorous
.
(I know I am strict in my definitions....Life is not black and white, but to operate in "Shades of Grey" does not mean automatically "Leave your analytical skills at the entrance and water reality into being what you want it to be" , either.... Sometimes yoiu can enjoy the colorful varieties within relationships AND be fully aware what they REALLY are about. ....)
Always up for enlightenment 
