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Old 01-06-2014, 04:36 PM   #31
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Eva is right (again), the definition of SD and SB varies greatly. I get called a SB here all the time, but that doesn't jive with my own definition. But I respect others views on the subject.

I can tell you that I tell any guy looking for a SB because he wants to lower his hobby budget, good luck. A SB is always going to get more expensive over time. Her wants and needs will grow and if you're into her, you will want to give more and more.

If what you really want is a hooker on retainer...get a hooker on retainer.

One more point, on both sides, if you're the type who will always calculate the net hourly amount spent/earned, the SD/SB scene might not be for you.
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Old 01-06-2014, 08:03 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by PFCffff View Post
Because they are. 3 or 4 dates a day 5 to 6 days a week. Not that hard to do. Assuming 250 per, that's 5K per week, 250K per year. This is the minimum I expect the professionals are doing.
Woww…that is not even realistic. What human being can do that? Do you realize how emotionally and physically exhausting going on 3 - 4 dates 5 - 6 days a week? Ouch!! We are not robots! There is no way in hell I can do that nor do I want to. I'll end up in a mental hospital! I cannot see more than 1 client a day (it doesn't matter for 1 hour or 5 hours)….ONE! I spread out my appointments and be really really selective to keep my sanity. And I take every weekend off and whenever I feel like it off. I make a very good living and save a lot for the future, own a home, nice car, and I have a lot going for me in my life.
It won't be possible for me to have a somewhat normal life working 3 - 4 dates a day 5 - 6 days a week!
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Old 01-06-2014, 10:49 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by samantha thom View Post
Woww…that is not even realistic. What human being can do that? Do you realize how emotionally and physically exhausting going on 3 - 4 dates 5 - 6 days a week? Ouch!! We are not robots! There is no way in hell I can do that nor do I want to. I'll end up in a mental hospital! I cannot see more than 1 client a day (it doesn't matter for 1 hour or 5 hours)….ONE! I spread out my appointments and be really really selective to keep my sanity. And I take every weekend off and whenever I feel like it off. I make a very good living and save a lot for the future, own a home, nice car, and I have a lot going for me in my life.
It won't be possible for me to have a somewhat normal life working 3 - 4 dates a day 5 - 6 days a week!
+250 ... Because we have some ladies here sticking to the unwritten Hooker rule of presenting themselves as always busy for marketing purposes, gents believe so.

I'm lucky to see , as I said, two (2) gents a week, and 1-2 in a two-day period while touring. But it's honestly like beating a dead horse - no matter how many times we chime in saying we're not screwing 8,000 guys a day, they still won't believe it. Look at it this way: there are some women on here with hundreds of reviews. Multiply the number of reviews in a matter of a couple years , and BAM, 6 figure income - uuuuuhhh no retirement yet??? Something's just not adding up...

With smart phones nowadays, and the fact that everyone has them, every girl suddenly wants to hook, and not teach, thinking it's easier. Temporarily it is. My point is that with so much tail to choose from, and seemingly more providers than hobbyists, not too many well reputable mid ranged-rate providers are seeing 5 and 6 clients DAILY, although possible, but just not likely and hardly common.
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Old 01-06-2014, 10:59 PM   #34
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Thank you both for your honesty and the clarification. I was about to quit my day job! LOL
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Old 01-06-2014, 11:21 PM   #35
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It amazes me how often this myth keeps coming up. No matter how often the ladies explain how that is a sure way to get burned out in a few weeks, there are guys who want to believe every escort can retire as a millionaire in just a year or two.

I don't know if they are just living in a fantasy world, playing at "what if" arithmetic. Or whether they are trying to rationalize "They are making so much that it isn't really that bad if I NC/NS and one appointment gets missed. What's a couple hundred when they are pulling in $300K tax free? I only make $50K, I can't afford to miss a paycheck, but they won't be hurt that bad."

I do the taxes for a few ladies--and yes, the smart ones do pay taxes--and many are lucky to make $40,000 before expenses and taxes--obviously some make substantially more. But that is just as weird an extrapolation as thinking every actor is paid Sean Penn money, or every opera singer made Pavarotti money.

I suspect this kind of thinking is directly related to much of the rude and arrogant comments that will show up at times about who should absorb the risk in this business, who has the right to CX at the last minute and who doesn't, etc.
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Old 01-06-2014, 11:27 PM   #36
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It amazes me how often this myth keeps coming up. No matter how often the ladies explain how that is a sure way to get burned out in a few weeks, there are guys who want to believe every escort can retire as a millionaire in just a year or two.

I don't know if they are just living in a fantasy world, playing at "what if" arithmetic. Or whether they are trying to rationalize "They are making so much that it isn't really that bad if I NC/NS and one appointment gets missed. What's a couple hundred when they are pulling in $300K tax free? I only make $50K, I can't afford to miss a paycheck, but they won't be hurt that bad."

I do the taxes for a few ladies--and yes, the smart ones do pay taxes--and many are lucky to make $40,000 before expenses and taxes--obviously some make substantially more. But that is just as weird an extrapolation as thinking every actor is paid Sean Penn money, or every opera singer made Pavarotti money.

I suspect this kind of thinking is directly related to much of the rude and arrogant comments that will show up at times about who should absorb the risk in this business, who has the right to CX at the last minute and who doesn't, etc.
Excellent insight, T! I think you're correct on several points. Thanks.
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Old 01-06-2014, 11:50 PM   #37
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Hooker on retainer just is usually a recipe for disaster. At least the kind of hookers I tend to go for. I will admit to having certain preferences that most likely bias my thoughts on this. Generally I find they are so addicted to the big score that they cannot understand the utility of a guaranteed, steady income, even if that is less.

How about this...for me the basic difference between a hooker and a SB is the primary source of income.

I.E., a hooker's primary source is what she makes off her clients. A SB should be one who works and is able to handle most, if not all of her basic needs from a "legit" job.

And yes, that would put strippers into the hooker spectrum.

That distinction is important for me in that it removes the "time=money" issues. Frankly, yes, I expect that in a good SB relationship there will be times when my outlay will exceed what I might spend on the hobby. There will be other times when it does not.

While I have known some hookers that do socialize OTC, many of them are so focused on what they "could" be making that their demands just don't justify the time spent, so it ends up being a constant chase to squeeze ever last bit of value out of the money spent and her incentive is to squeeze every last dollar in most cases. Even when she'd actually not be making that money to begin with.

For a guy, being treated as an income source even when you are doing something nice, picking up the tab, doing someone favors is just too much.

But I've just plain hit a point where my social needs are not being met by hobbying. Hookers have a different mindset and it just ends up being a turnoff more than anything these days. Call it burnout. I get the same effect if I hit the strip clubs too much. It's fun for a little while and then it just gets boring.

Add to that the pure frustration of watching a girl squander what is paid/given to her repeatedly and watching the same mistakes and poor life choices over and over again, and I'm just done.

Your point about the calculations is a very good one. My approach is to work with a smaller initial investment and increase that as needed over time once a SB proves her commitment to the SD-SB relationship. I don't mind spending, I have quite a bit of disposable income...I do mind not getting a good value for my spending. And yes, I do consider value a subjective issue. My idea of what is value is mine alone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilMynx69 View Post
Eva is right (again), the definition of SD and SB varies greatly. I get called a SB here all the time, but that doesn't jive with my own definition. But I respect others views on the subject.

I can tell you that I tell any guy looking for a SB because he wants to lower his hobby budget, good luck. A SB is always going to get more expensive over time. Her wants and needs will grow and if you're into her, you will want to give more and more.

If what you really want is a hooker on retainer...get a hooker on retainer.

One more point, on both sides, if you're the type who will always calculate the net hourly amount spent/earned, the SD/SB scene might not be for you.
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Old 01-06-2014, 11:57 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by Old-T View Post
I do the taxes for a few ladies--and yes, the smart ones do pay taxes--and many are lucky to make $40,000 before expenses and taxes--obviously some make substantially more.
Damn, that is exactly the number I have estimated just based on observation and life experience. It's kind of nice to know that I'm in the right ballpark.

Considering it's been over a decade since I made that much (I'm much higher now) and the costs of living, it's not very much at all.

You observation also agrees with several studies I've seen on the economics of sex workers.
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Old 01-07-2014, 12:05 AM   #39
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Rehke,

Between your posts above and the ones in the perspective thread, I must say I'm quite a fan.

You explained the SD/SB dynamic better than anyone else I've encountered. Bravo! I look forward to hearing more!

xoxo,
LMx
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:29 PM   #40
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Wait a minute....you bought her dinner, took her to a movie and had sex with her? But had to give her $400? For one night? Correct me if I am wrong, but that just makes her an inexpensive escort, doesn't it? I could see if you had a long term relationship but closing a one event sale after a 45 day sales pitch doesn't really sound like a SD/SB set up .
Update this post in 2 or 3months and let us know what the financial terms per meeting are then.
Never a one event sale the first time you always push a little give a little extra to seal the deal from the fakes and ultra pervs who are looking for a one night event. We have been talking and are doing 3 meets a months, plus I help her fix her credit just advice, for $750. She goes to UNO, dates will be similar 4-5hrs in Uptown. The movie was just background noise in the hotel room while we got to know each other better.

My arrangements are always 800-1000/months usually 3-4 overnights or longer 5-6hr dates a month. Most girls are in college undergrad or graduate of course there is texting, sexting, advice, they usually last between 2-6 months per arrangement.

In the hobbyist world I'm looking at thousands for the same amount. My last SB even bought me Christmas presents 4 of them. The best thing is if there really is a connection allowance may not even be needed. I had a girl in DFW like that when I flew in we would just go to a musical, dinner, and bang then txt until the next time we hung out until she found a boyfriend she felt like she couldn't cheat on.

I'm just a snob I hate incalls don't trust showing up at someone else's hotel EVER!! I'm married too so getting popped is always a concern.

So for me the SB/SD world works nicely though I do hobby 3-4 times year. The last time in Little Rock it was $400 for two hours and felt ridiculously transactional.

Different strokes for different folks I guess! I also rarely ever play at home I travel a lot so most of my escapades are at least 75 miles away the farther the better!!
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:35 PM   #41
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Speaking from the older, feminine side of this equation (and hearing the same from young men as well as mature men), there are mature women who can run circles around the young ladies in the bedroom. And they have sense enough (most do), to NOT interfere with a man's personal life, ie: random calls in the middle of a meeting, or worse yet, dinner with your family or on family holidays.
Having a daughter who is around the same age as some SB's, the young ones have entitlement issues! I know, BOY do I know!
Just my POV.
Not true!! You have to do your homework, but I find older women are just like older men who say things like "I'm almost 40, but in better shape then I was at 25, and dick is harder then ever!!" BS...........is all have to say. We all age........and we aren't like we were in our early 20's none of us can get that back.

Youth can't be bought and good sex is good sex it's much more about the kissing, passion, the transition from position to position. The best sex in the world is always emotion bonded sex and unfortunately that is always missing in a hobby environment. Not that you have it in the SB/SD world, but you have some sort of rapport.

For some men at least me the biggest appeal is the unattainable fact of being with woman 16-18 years my junior. I can't pay to be with someone who is 30..........but 22,23,24,yep!!

I'm sure you are more than awesome! We are just all different
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:42 PM   #42
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Yes, this was supposed to be in the men's section sorry!! The SB world is different if you aren't looking to get to know, talk, chit chat, share bits of life's tidbits it probably won't work.

Looks are very important for the some and not for others. One of my ex SB's is at NYU she get's 2000/mo from a guy who is 62 in Miami he flies her down for a full weekend every month. She is 23 now!

The SB's I look for are usually wanting to do something crazy, but the guy has to be pretty good lucking and not "My dad's age!", and they just want help, advice, and not have to work so much so they can focus on school. So, if you have a good job or talk a good game and someone thinks you are a Attorney, Doctor, etc it only adds to the allure for them.

So, there is some work involved to find that 1 girl it's a law of averages message 100 talk to 10 to find that 1 lol.

Once found and trust is build it's like a long distance relationship and much cheaper than being in the hobby. Again not for everyone!!
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