Funny,Crazy, Sad stuff heard in the hobby

[ElumEno]

Ultimately it is only stupid if you don't learn from it... it is after all just another step towards true hobby enlightenment.

[Enchanterlingum]

"I don't care what you do, just don't fuck me in the ass."

Completely understandable in the proper context. After repeating it for the third time, and quite unnecessarily for that matter as there was no danger of that occurring, I started to get the impression that this was some sort of "womanspeak" no means yes riddle. Mind you, I had not yet laid a hand on her by the third time it was brought up.

I didn't partake because I am gentlemanly and do what I'm told, even it is unnecessarily repeated to me to not do something I am already not doing.

[AllThisMeat]

A provider I used to talk to would tell me about the craziest stories...

"One time a client came in, took his clothes off and sat on the bed. I asked him to move to the other bed because that's the one I sleep on. He got up and moved and there was a big skidmark from where he was sitting."

The funniest was the story of the guy who pretended to lose his mind at the end of the session and walk out without paying for his time. Then he got physical with her and got his ass kicked. He ended up walking down the street half dressed with no shoes and left his keys in her room.

[BigDeal]

Originally Posted by Gemma34

I am dealing with a guy like that now. He wants to be my boyfriend and I mean boyfriend FOR REAL!! lol. It's frustrating to reiterate to him over and over again that this is my business. I sound like a broken record, seriously! He is even divorcing his wife in hopes that I will change my mind. I get such a headache dealing with him. ugghhhh....

I hear ya honey...Im dealing with that right now.....I have multiple providers on my back wanting me in marriage as we speak..........

Thank God Ive got Malwoody as a "Specialized Hooker Assistant to The Big Deal" to sort it all out

[Guest013121]

LOL!!

[Bomb Pop]

Aw damn, I was hoping to fill the S.H.A.T.B.D. Job opening, was my resume too short???

[Nero Wolfe]

Two different former escorts of mine told me that a client just wanted them to kick him in the balls for an hour. He'd bend over, they'd kick him (and he wanted it pretty hard), he'd take 5-10 minutes to recover, and then repeat until the session was over. I always assumed it was the same guy.

This goes back probably 15 years so I doubt he's still around.

[VegasStud]

I had a provider several years ago ask me out on a real date, on valentines day. I declined.

[big country]

Originally Posted by Nero Wolfe

Two different former escorts of mine told me that a client just wanted them to kick him in the balls for an hour. He'd bend over, they'd kick him (and he wanted it pretty hard), he'd take 5-10 minutes to recover, and then repeat until the session was over. I always assumed it was the same guy.

This goes back probably 15 years so I doubt he's still around.

I guess there is other ways to get "blue balls" than I thought.

[pmdelites]

not sure if it was funny, crazy, or sad, but def unusual.

many moons ago, i was in hoboken nj on a project. i contacted an agency and scheduled an outcall appt w/ one of their providers [reasonable fee for the time]. a cute brunette arrived in a one-piece denim jump-suit kinda thingy w/ zipper from neck to waist.

anyhow, after chit chatting on the couch for a bit, i asked the provider [to get an idea of what might be in store for playtime] "so, what kind of sex play do you really like? what gets you off?"

"well, i dont like sex at all! i'm just doing this so i can save up enough money so me and my son can move to florida."

as you might imagine, the playtime was less than deliteful, esp cos she kept looking at the clock every few minutes while in cg and in mish.


fortunately, i met other providers up there who enjoyed our playtime much much more.

[BigDeal]

Originally Posted by Bomb Pop

Aw damn, I was hoping to fill the S.H.A.T.B.D. Job opening, was my resume too short???

Thanks BP sorry it wasnt the resume that was too short...........

LOl Kiddin!!