As a provider, what are your biggest challenges/fears?

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by thathottnurse

+1. Well said. Very. I don't have any family besides my children and at times its hard keeping my distance from others.

Yep. All of you summed it up for me as well. Especially the part where I'm not ashamed of what I do. Heck, I'm actually proud of the work that I do.

But societal norms being what they are ... well, it's a real drag.

This work is very isolating. And I'm working on getting out of that rut myself at this time.

[Seductive Skyy]

Originally Posted by Reese Foster

My biggest challenge is the fact that I have to lie to people outside of the hobby on a daily basis. The other day I was asked to join the PTA and get involved in things at school. I simply said, "no." Makes me sad.

I have realized that I have shut myself off from the outside world. I don't really have any friends outside of the hobby..because, I would have to lie to them. I don't get involved in school activities because for some reason, most people you meet, will ask you what you do for a living, first thing. I am not as close to my family (the ones that don't know what I do) as I used to be because, I have to lie to them.

Thank God for the friends that I have made in the hobby. Love you guys and girls.

+1

[Lindsay Lee]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reese Foster
My biggest challenge is the fact that I have to lie to people outside of the hobby on a daily basis. The other day I was asked to join the PTA and get involved in things at school. I simply said, "no." Makes me sad.

I have realized that I have shut myself off from the outside world. I don't really have any friends outside of the hobby..because, I would have to lie to them. I don't get involved in school activities because for some reason, most people you meet, will ask you what you do for a living, first thing. I am not as close to my family (the ones that don't know what I do) as I used to be because, I have to lie to them.

Thank God for the friends that I have made in the hobby. Love you guys and girls.


Reese,

You hit the nail on the head for me ;( It can be very lonely.

[Charlie Brown]

The posts above bring out a lot of personal feelings for me.

It's always been very important to me to make sure any lady I see or have seen understands the respect I feel for them. I definitely understand the sacrifices that can come with this vocation. I never get all wishy washy in being thankful but there's not one woman that will truthfully speak ill of me because of any negative atmosphere I could bring to a session, just won't happen, except maybe an occasional quick draw fail.

I've listened to some stories that have almost made a felon out of me just to have justice served. Providers can be right in the line of fire for guys that take advantage of them. We read about here often.

I get gratification out of paying it forward sometimes to help smooth out some rough spots that occur. Ladies do appreciate it - I can tell sometimes on the inside they're thinking something like " yeah, that's what I'm talking about " ! It's giving more than you receive - big or little.

For those other guys that step it up for the girls, you understand what I'm expressing here. It can be fun as well as rewarding in the long run but most of all, it's doing something unexpectedly nice for someone that can help manage some loneliness and sacrifice from time to time.

Anyway, I just love women!

[Lindsay Lee]

Charlie Brown...That is so very sweet of you. You have a kind heart.

XOXO

[doug_dfw]

What I have read in this thread brought tears. I have known many Ladies and their circumstances very intimately over many years. What this thread discloses is what I have heard most often as the biggest "hurt".

Pride of their chosen career and wish to deliver the services- possibly better than 75% of their clients in their own field.

But the stigma caused by do-gooders, tea-drinking ladies, liberals, religious right who intrude into their lives: amongst many but setting " correct views" and also forcing LE to be tread on civil rights. That is America. Not so in many other countries.

We as hobbyists are no different than males in other countries. Our SO's, unless you marry one of those cultures who accept our needs, do not accept our needs; all because of the "social standards". Many SO's today accept same gender relationships; perhaps in time they will accept the 'need' that these Ladies so generously provide us with no strings attached. Period. Our SO's bleed us of our cash; our Ladies set one compensation. Period.

My compliments and support to those who make such sacrifice to support their own needs and do their utmost to care for us who have two heads to satisfy- not to mention ego.

I have always respected and treated as an equal, and I must admit not always my SO, those who I visit.

I do not respect those hobbyists that do not respect the Ladies they visit. period.

Maybe in time America will truly follow the Constitution: we all have right to ... you know the principles.

[SD2011]

Originally Posted by Reese Foster

My biggest challenge is the fact that I have to lie to people outside of the hobby on a daily basis. The other day I was asked to join the PTA and get involved in things at school. I simply said, "no." Makes me sad.

I have realized that I have shut myself off from the outside world. I don't really have any friends outside of the hobby..because, I would have to lie to them. I don't get involved in school activities because for some reason, most people you meet, will ask you what you do for a living, first thing. I am not as close to my family (the ones that don't know what I do) as I used to be because, I have to lie to them.

Thank God for the friends that I have made in the hobby. Love you guys and girls.

Reese, I have always said and felt that a provider gives much more of herself than just the time for a session. I have learned so much that it makes me really think and consider what it means beyond just the time that you share with us as a hobbyist. I agree with everything EL214 wrote.

Thank you

[OldGrump]

First, I want to give the lady in your picture a long warm hug.

As much as we guys go through to remain anonymous, we often don't realize the ladies have to go through so much more. It takes a lot out of you as some have stated. I actually felt teary eyed over Reese's inability to freely join the PTA. A special hug for you dear.

There are a variety of personalities and backgrounds on this board, but the ladies who have taken the time to respond have already established a reputation of being a class act. Thank you for your sacrifice.

[SD2011]

I spent a week in NOLA, bored to death, a little emotional, but I was there for a reason. My mother is ailing at 79, and mostly no longer with us. As the responsible (I'm supposed to be), I took care of her issues (legal) and helped my Dad (stepfather) who isn't much better off, get ready for the coming inevitability.

I grew up poor, my father (biological) abandoned us all when I was five, with a one year old little sister and another sister who was ten. By the time I was seven and in first grade, it was very rough and she worked more than one job and it still was hard to handle us and giving us a decent life.

I remember walking in early from school on my mom in 2nd grade and someone, I grabbed a iron and attacked him as good as a eight year old could, he just apologized and left. I remember her tears and her saying she would do anything for us. At that point in my life, I didn't understand and never even thought about it as I grew up.

So, going through her stuff getting things in order, I found a letter from her to me. All I can say is, I love her and I really do understand now even though she doesn't hear me anymore. And I love my father (he is far more than my stepfather to me) for the warm kind heart he has and what he meant to her and all of us.

So, that being said, I appreciate each and everyone of you.

[leilover]

Originally Posted by samantha thom

I feel like Reese during my first year of providing. I avoided people, friends, and any social activities....I felt lonely and emotionally depressed. Then I chose to make a change and create a balance in my life and to not get in too deep in the hobby to keep my sanity. I make an effort to keep the hobby a small part of my life. Now I have a healthy social life, and a lot going on outside the hobby and I am very happy. All the friends that I have are outside the hobby and my secret life is none of their business. :-)
Another fear of mine is being outted.

Same here!!

[Guest070818-1]

Originally Posted by Jules Jaguar

SD,

I'd love to talk about this subject with you... off boards, maybe next time we meet we can do lunch

Off subject but the real reason I had to respond is that I love that photo!!! I wonder if I could get it blown up and framed to hang up on the wall.

I agree Jules! That picture is pretty nice.

[Guest070818-1]

Originally Posted by SD2011

I spent a week in NOLA, bored to death, a little emotional, but I was there for a reason. My mother is ailing at 79, and mostly no longer with us. As the responsible (I'm supposed to be), I took care of her issues (legal) and helped my Dad (stepfather) who isn't much better off, get ready for the coming inevitability.

I grew up poor, my father (biological) abandoned us all when I was five, with a one year old little sister and another sister who was ten. By the time I was seven and in first grade, it was very rough and she worked more than one job and it still was hard to handle us and giving us a decent life.

I remember walking in early from school on my mom in 2nd grade and someone, I grabbed a iron and attacked him as good as a eight year old could, he just apologized and left. I remember her tears and her saying she would do anything for us. At that point in my life, I didn't understand and never even thought about it as I grew up.

So, going through her stuff getting things in order, I found a letter from her to me. All I can say is, I love her and I really do understand now even though she doesn't hear me anymore. And I love my father (he is far more than my stepfather to me) for the warm kind heart he has and what he meant to her and all of us.

So, that being said, I appreciate each and everyone of you.

A mother's love ... Thank-you for sharing your story. I'm pretty sure your mother is happy looking down at the fine gentleman that she raised. She did what she could and I'm sure that you would do everything you could/can for the people that you love.

[Guest062124]

Originally Posted by SD2011

I spent a week in NOLA, bored to death, a little emotional, but I was there for a reason. My mother is ailing at 79, and mostly no longer with us. As the responsible (I'm supposed to be), I took care of her issues (legal) and helped my Dad (stepfather) who isn't much better off, get ready for the coming inevitability.

I grew up poor, my father (biological) abandoned us all when I was five, with a one year old little sister and another sister who was ten. By the time I was seven and in first grade, it was very rough and she worked more than one job and it still was hard to handle us and giving us a decent life.

I remember walking in early from school on my mom in 2nd grade and someone, I grabbed a iron and attacked him as good as a eight year old could, he just apologized and left. I remember her tears and her saying she would do anything for us. At that point in my life, I didn't understand and never even thought about it as I grew up.

So, going through her stuff getting things in order, I found a letter from her to me. All I can say is, I love her and I really do understand now even though she doesn't hear me anymore. And I love my father (he is far more than my stepfather to me) for the warm kind heart he has and what he meant to her and all of us.

So, that being said, I appreciate each and everyone of you.

Thank you so much for sharing that with us.

[Guest112814]

Going to have to put out an ISO for a group hug...

[leilover]

Originally Posted by SD2011

I spent a week in NOLA, bored to death, a little emotional, but I was there for a reason. My mother is ailing at 79, and mostly no longer with us. As the responsible (I'm supposed to be), I took care of her issues (legal) and helped my Dad (stepfather) who isn't much better off, get ready for the coming inevitability.

I grew up poor, my father (biological) abandoned us all when I was five, with a one year old little sister and another sister who was ten. By the time I was seven and in first grade, it was very rough and she worked more than one job and it still was hard to handle us and giving us a decent life.

I remember walking in early from school on my mom in 2nd grade and someone, I grabbed a iron and attacked him as good as a eight year old could, he just apologized and left. I remember her tears and her saying she would do anything for us. At that point in my life, I didn't understand and never even thought about it as I grew up.

So, going through her stuff getting things in order, I found a letter from her to me. All I can say is, I love her and I really do understand now even though she doesn't hear me anymore. And I love my father (he is far more than my stepfather to me) for the warm kind heart he has and what he meant to her and all of us.

So, that being said, I appreciate each and everyone of you.

Sweetheart! Thanks for sharing your story.... you are one of the most gentleman I met from this site!