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Old 09-07-2013, 05:42 PM   #16
Nurseguy76
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Doug the way info is so easily obtained today her previous lifestyle will be found out regardless if she tells him or not. I was saying be upfront to avoid the drama after there is emotional investment. Look everything in life has outliers, are there providers that have had loving and successful marriages YES I'm positive. However; statistically speaking this relationship does not last. Guys lie to ourselves all the time. MOST guys will not marry an ex provider point blank even IF they say they can get over it. This lifestyle is not reality no matter how she makes you feel in a session and you can't marry that perception believing this is what you've been missing in your previous relationship. Seriously some guys 50+ divorcees really believe that 24 year old hot chick that blows his ass is really in love with him. HAHA the worm has definitely turned my friend.

This is all a fantasy.
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Old 09-07-2013, 06:16 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Nurseguy76 View Post
I don't see how a provider could manage a regular relationship outside of the hobby. What if the guy wants to do regular dating activities? Go out out dinner, movies, concerts, hanging out in group outings, maybe a quick weekend getaway. How many lies and accuses do you come up with? Some women make the decision that they would rather make the $200-400 in an hour than spend that with a guy (that doesn't pay for her time) they may or may not be with 3 months from now.
Exactly. Trying to date is a Fcuking headache!!! I am a staunch advocate for boundaries, structure and objective investments.

An objective (financial) investment is soooooo much less of a headache than dealing with someone's subjective (emotional/mental) investment.

Can you imagine if this was a real dating site that reviewed candidates??? Omg it would be like world war III (or facebook Lol).

An unhappy hobbyist is nothing compared to a RW dood who insists he be the center of your life rather just your time. I'll take the hobbyist with open legs on any day of the week and twice on Sunday
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Old 09-07-2013, 06:36 PM   #18
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What are you doing tomorrow?
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Old 09-07-2013, 09:38 PM   #19
Randall Creed
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These days I'm way too busy for a girlfriend, even if she was already a girlfriend, ya know. I'm not referring to the 'chase one down and things leading to a relationship'. I'm talking if she was already at the 'girlfriend' status, our relationship would probably on the rocks due to my schedule. If you're talking THE CHASE of getting one to become a girlfriend. Oh, hell nooo. I don't have the time, energy, or patience these days. The only girls I see these days are the ones I'm 'hanging out with' for an hour or hh at a time.

I would speculate that guys who are 'long-winded' in girl chasing are probably chasing many at once. If a guy is chasing multiple ladies, as long as he has one or two that's easy to 'chase down', I would surmise that it sustains him in the chase for the one(s) that are playing hard to get. So if a guy is willing to wait on your 'slow cooking meal', it's POSSIBLE that he's eating off other plates, if you know what I mean.



I learned towards the tail end of my pussy-chasing days (before hobbying) that that was the way to go.
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Old 09-07-2013, 09:46 PM   #20
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Rambro, you are totally so right on bro!
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Old 09-08-2013, 10:18 AM   #21
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Well, being a provider and get paid for your pussy is fine, but it's not forever and some day you will understand that it's not forever and you wish you had met a guy or two that do not knows what you did in your pas and they are not paying for your pussyt... ijs.
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Old 09-08-2013, 11:30 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by chloeluv View Post
LOL obviously nurseguy thinks that a working girl doesnt do regular things like go to movies or go on vacations. I have a work schedule and have free time. Somehow I keep the urge to massage under control when out in public. Its hard but I manage.
Hmmm.... I guess, I am intrigued, you are FBSM girl, so if you don't date, are you saying you don't indulge in normal sex at all? :-) Or self service is it for you?:-D
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Old 09-08-2013, 12:06 PM   #23
Sami
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For me it's not even practical to date in the civvie world, I don't believe any relationship can last starting out lying. I run like hell when a civie guy is flirting. I personally despise being lied to, so therefore I just won't do it. I biggest fear is I would try to date, he finds out and goes ape shit crazy while putting me and my gentleman in danger and outing my guys. Nope it's not worth it, Drama Free Zone. Since I have entered this world, Maybe a open relationship would be ideal, then again you really don't know if many civie are open to this. I guess I'm still a little old school when it comes to dating & relationships, lying just isn't my thing. My closest family & friends know what I do, so I don't have to lie. It's enough to have 2 names with one personality of the same.
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Old 09-08-2013, 02:18 PM   #24
nbs4143
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Most providers have some fear of a civil life style and their secret be found by the civie guy.
But then why start with a lie?
If he is the one then you don’t need to lie, right?

Providers that play hard to get in the RW and one might think that they have a GPS, even if one doesn’t know what they do for living!
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Old 09-09-2013, 08:55 AM   #25
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If your good at something never do it for free
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Old 09-09-2013, 09:58 AM   #26
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It seems the dual life is more difficult for a provider than a hobbyist. We can disappear for an hour or two and get back on track. The ladies have made much more of a commitment to the hobby.

For a guy, it is completely possible to have a loving permanent relationship and fill in a few gaps on the side. However, the occasional deception is uncomfortable and out of character but is rationalized by the wall preventing emotional attachment.

As a side note, I think the male need to pursue and test limits is the reason BP is still going strong. You never know how far you are going to get - or what is behind door #2. I'm glad I've outgrown that phase.
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Old 09-09-2013, 11:27 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by Incognito44 View Post
Hmmm.... I guess, I am intrigued, you are FBSM girl, so if you don't date, are you saying you don't indulge in normal sex at all? :-) Or self service is it for you?:-D

I am recently single and the way I was treated and judged by him and everyone was pretty awful. If and when I do need to get some I suppose I can find a willing person for a one night stand. As far as letting anyone close enough to get all in my biznass and give me shit about my profession... I dont think its worth the hassle.
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Old 09-10-2013, 08:23 AM   #28
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I'd date a provider (current or former) in a second. I'm single and after dating civies for the past few years, I discovered that most (not all) are far too out of touch w/their sexuality. Remember, all of us are future retired hobbyists. Why the double standard?

Any 35+ non-BBW providers bored on a weekend looking for a NSA dinner or date, PM me.
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Old 09-10-2013, 02:58 PM   #29
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Morgan I so agree with you babe!

Being in this Lifestyle has for sure made me put things on hold and distance myself from a few "Real World" relationships I have been involved in over the years.

I have casually dated a couple of guys but I seem to attract these "Dallas Douchebags" therefore I am very dissatisfied with the selection of men I have come across. It's way to hard to even describe yourself and Life to a civilian who knows nothing of the Hobby and lying about it gets you no where either.
As much as I believe "What you do for a living doesn't define you as a person" ... most will judge anyway.

It becomes very complicated engage in a Relationship, be honest and "Normal" ... whatever that is ... and maintain this Lifestyle while morphing back and forth throughout the day from "Mom" to "Berkleigh" to "Friend" to "Girlfriend".

I chose not to be with anyone for a long time and then dated someone much younger who lived out of town.
I controlled that relationship because it was out of convenience for me and the reality of it was it was never going to go anywhere.
I've had a few arrangements but none of those were any that I saw myself setting down with for many reasons. I most definitely only let those in enough as I was comfortable and never wanted to mix Business with my Personal Life.
I even got involved with my best guy friend from the Hobby. We knew each other for a few years and seriously talked about getting married, but sadly things did not work out and we ruined a very good friendship.

I ALWAYS told myself I would never get involved in a Personal Relationship outside this Hobby and damn it I broke that rule too!
I've learned that even if he is a civilian or was a P411 member, it does not matter anymore how you met, especially once you develop feelings.
I struggled with this and kept pushing away a man who heavily pursued me from the night he sent me a P411 Appt Request. All because I know how it ends...
Or I've programmed myself to keep things as Business Only and finally realized I may have passed up some great opportunities of love and life.

So after our first appointment, which lasted about 7 hours, I gave in and we will be celebrating our 6 month anniversary this Thursday.
One of the best decisions I have made thus far!

Impossible really is not the word...
It's more of a definite challenge in my opinion, but worth it.
It's not about being compensated, never was, i
t's been more of a definite challenge in my opinion, but so worth it.


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Old 09-10-2013, 04:01 PM   #30
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I think it's sad that you ladies believe you can't have a relationship with a man and still do your thing here. All because of society's misconceptions of what's "proper".

But...I definitely understand how you feel that way...in some case you tried it and it didn't work. It just doesn't seem fair. Every other profession on this earth allows two people in love to share each other's lives...except this one.

I'm with Bobster on this. You certainly deserve what everyone else on this planet gets.
You have no idea how special you are...to a lot of us guys. Not just me.
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