Freaking Out Over Bareback

[jfred]

Originally Posted by jhende3

Jfred wow what are you trying to say!...

I'm trying to say that I understand, now, why the local ladies get all worked up when someone mentions bareback -- they're trying to discourage a trend that is turning out to be a big headache, and threatens the safety of providers in particular. You do understand that I was never saying that "mainstream" providers giving regular and frequent bbfs is a good idea, right?

Originally Posted by dearhunter

I tend to thinck that a few of the most vocal "BBFS is just gross" posters doth protest too much.

haha you know, deerhunter, I was just thinking that very thing about Mr hende3. Seems to me his first post outed him as a frequent flyer. Not really. I'm just kiddin'.

[Carl]

Originally Posted by dearhunter

I tend to thinck that a few of the most vocal "BBFS is just gross" posters doth protest too much.

Are you suggesting that some of those that vehemently decry the practice of BBFS within the hobby are, in fact, practitioners?

That they're attempting to deflect suspicion from themselves while besmirching the reputations of others in a shallow attempt to improve their reputation by using public grandstanding to casts aspersions on people that they feel are some sort of threat to their own selfish interests?

Why, the subterfuge! The hypocrisy!

Do you mean to tell me that there are individuals in the hobby that are no better than common politicians?

I'm speechless.

[Jimmiwad]

You just have to be carful with whom you do what with. I can remember my Navy days there would be corpman, navy medical guys, positioned by the lines of sailors getting off the ship in the Philippines handing out condoms. Not many took them as I remember. Even after days of graphic films showing the horrors of VD. As far as I know no one ever died of the ole VD. Although a few did suffer a few shots in the ass a few days after pulling out of port.
I have never requested a BBFS from any of the providers as I didn't think it was possible.

[jhende3]

Funny jfred no I'm married i'm scared. Lol. But I don't have a problem with other people or providers offering it. I don't see it as sudden death like some would like to say. It's something that some providers offer to supplement thier income in a way. Hell most providers have a SO and he sure as hell ain't wearing a condom.

[Guest062912]

Hmm... the old "Methinks the lady doth protest too much" reference seems to me to be an easy and impressive way to say "Don't believe those lying (insert common mysogynistic term-of-endearment of choice)!" Hooktard seems to be a favorite. Why don't we say what we really mean?

Seems every time there are a few providers getting vocal about the issues that irk them, someone tries to shut them up with some sort of "doth protest too much" comment. I remain unimpressed and a little annoyed. Just because she "doth protest" does not mean anything other than she "doth protest." Methinks the sheep should find their own words instead of quoting famous wordsmiths to sound impressive, hmm? Just saying. Please continue.

[yardape]

Originally Posted by Jimmiwad

You just have to be carful with whom you do what with. I can remember my Navy days there would be corpman, navy medical guys, positioned by the lines of sailors getting off the ship in the Philippines handing out condoms. Not many took them as I remember. Even after days of graphic films showing the horrors of VD. As far as I know no one ever died of the ole VD. Although a few did suffer a few shots in the ass a few days after pulling out of port.
I have never requested a BBFS from any of the providers as I didn't think it was possible.

I was Army. Nobody had (bad) dreamed yet of something deadly like HIV/AIDS, but there was a lot of nasty clap in Nam. Our Sarge would kick butt if a GI came down with the drippies and everybody learned real quick to use the free rubbers or just stick to the good booze cheap and ignore the comfort gals. I don't go BB with the lovely American providers or civvie one-nighters. It's less about fear of catching a cold than risking a paternity charge. I've sired my children and I'd prefer to keep the ones I admit to.

[jfred]

Originally Posted by tracibrooks

Hmm...hmm? Just saying. Please continue.

Traci, I'm almost certain he was referring to the guys who pop up on those threads.

I mean, sure, anybody could lie about that. But I will say that none of the ladies I've enjoyed bareback with have chimed in on any of these threads. So I think he was talking about guys.

[jhende3]

And jfred they won't either. Nobody who's ever done it will chime in on it. It's the elephant in the room. Come on people! If you ever had a rubber pop on you with a provider you'll bareback. On matter if it was for 2 stroks are straight from the beginning it's all the same to a virus. I've had plenty of one night stands and I'll admit back in my younger days 90% didn't involve a condom. I have been swinging for years with my SO and rubbers never really come up. It's all mostly about not getting the female pregnant is the only worry I have. And I'll admit I don't get tested once a week Like some people claim. But I do get tested. I'm going to say this if a man has been seeming a provider for a while I think bb has either came up or been done. And people are too afraid to admit it because someone will stand on thier soapbox and scream that's suicide! And then go out and ask for it themselves. Are a provider will tell some guy she will do it for him but he is the only one she ever done that with so don't tell no one.

[dearhunter]

Originally Posted by tracibrooks

Hmm... the old "Methinks the lady doth protest too much" reference seems to me to be an easy and impressive way to say "Don't believe those lying (insert common mysogynistic term-of-endearment of choice)!" Hooktard seems to be a favorite. Why don't we say what we really mean?

Seems every time there are a few providers getting vocal about the issues that irk them, someone tries to shut them up with some sort of "doth protest too much" comment. I remain unimpressed and a little annoyed. Just because she "doth protest" does not mean anything other than she "doth protest." Methinks the sheep should find their own words instead of quoting famous wordsmiths to sound impressive, hmm? Just saying. Please continue.

What do you have to protest about?

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by dearhunter

What do you have to protest about?

Global Warming-real or myth?


Thongs riding up?

[renea_1]

1st let me start by saying I've never nor know any1 else that considers GFE bbfs, Its my understanding the experience is..... Like that much of a or your S/O, more affectionate,cuddling,kissing caressing etc. Nonrushed NOT a wham BamB Thank YOU mAM.
Its My understanding & general senous WHERE I'm from.Interesting 2 hear/know that there are some providers & hobbiest That Consider GFE BBFS,News 2 me! I guess Specific Your Definition of Your Gfe When recieving or the 1 Requesting it.When In Doubt ASK!!!
1 more thing its no safer 2 have BB with a civvie/provider/hobbiest Etc. I wouldn't Put myself & others health,safety & essentially they're lives @ risk! Hobby or no Hobby YOU Can't put a price on the value of my Life!!
Licks & Kisses,
renea_1

[Laurentius]

The original post is excellent and well-thought.

Some thoughts of my own.

I have only had BBFS with a couple of women in my life -- both over a decade ago. Other than that, I've always used condoms simply because I like to reduce the risk.

In civie life, I have found responses from women on that very interesting. It seems that if the man wants to use a condom; the woman thinks he "must" think she is "dirty." No -- it is just what Brandy called a "Universal Precaution." I have had women get pretty offended over the matter, and others with pretty crazy points of view such as "Who cares? The bug is gonna get us all anyway."

In hobby life, I am most certainly aware that certain providers exist who will accept a pretty small fee (like $50) for BBFS. It is quite obvious that this goes on. I am also aware of providers who work out "agreements" with certain men that each will be the only one that they engage in BBFS with.

What I favor is full disclosure. That is, I want to know up-front if a woman is engaging in BBFS because it DOES make a difference to the risks I am assuming if I see her.

I believe that full disclosure is impeded by the hail of condemnation.

True, if I knew a provider offered BBFS, it would dramatically increase the likelihood that I would never see her. However, I'm sure that for another proportion of men, it would be an attractant.

While I am personally extremely uncomfortable with the risks afforded by BBFS and would never engage in it with a provider or 99% of civies; I believe that we are fundamentally adults and professionals and that this activity falls well within the realm of free choice among consenting adults.

But the key here is "free choice."

There are some sex acts that I do not allow that are often on the menu of providers. (One example is rimming. Women are not allowed to lick my ass.) She can offer them, and I can refuse. As long as she acknowledges my refusal, there is no harm done.

The same occurs in the other direction. I can ask a provider to do practically anything (e.g. stand on her head while stacking wooden nickels) and she has a right to refuse. As long as I acknowledge her refusal, there is no harm done.

I realize that being asked to perform acts with which one is uncomfortable can, in and of itself, be uncomfortable.

However, it is a simple fact that there are providers out there offering BBFS, and there is a constituency of hobbyists that partakes. The fact that I think they are nuts notwithstanding, they are a part of the hobby.

As they are a part of the hobby; this question should be expected once in a while just like questions about anything from foot fetish and bondage to adrenaline thrills like sex in public.

I see no reason to go ballistic over the question. Rather, just a polite and firm refusal is sufficient. If the person fails to accept the refusal, then open up a can of whoop-ass.

Incidentally, hobbyists and providers shouldn't be discussing sex via email anyway.

[jhende3]

This is getting good again! I guess I been playing "Russian Roulette" all my life and never lost. Lol. But I guess that's life. Truthful I guess if I had been seeming a provider on and off for sometime and she was a older mature provider with her own incall at her home. Low volume and it would come up between the two of us I just very might. Or if we were going at it and in the heat of the moment and we looked down and the rubber was hoola hooping my stuff and had been that way for some time and we would say "fuck it" I probably wouldn't stop.

But that's just me I would be in the hobby if I did take risk.

[pyramider]

"Incidentally, hobbyists and providers shouldn't be discussing sex via email anyway."

Can't get anyone to talk dirty to me via phone.

No one will sex text me.

And now some yankee is saying we shouldn't be dicussing sex via email. What's a social retard to do? Not just referring to CP3.147, either.

[Laurentius]

Originally Posted by pyramider

"And now some yankee is saying we shouldn't be discussing sex via email.

Just FYI, though I live up North, I'm a Southern boy. ;-)