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Old 05-11-2010, 07:37 PM   #16
Smokin Joe
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Simple, take her to Antones, always have a drink in your hand and insist she have one too, bring her out every 10 minutes while you light up and enjoy good smoke while standing upwind of her, make sure you get really close to the stage in the middle of the crowd after each smoke break, and don't leave until all the equipment is off the stage and put up.
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Old 05-11-2010, 09:00 PM   #17
Baloney Pony
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Default Tell her yer taking her out on a date...

Howdy, Folks!

...and take her to a Multi-level Marketing Seminar.


1. Guaranteed to be a bad time, and you'll never hear from her again.


2. She'll love it, forget all about you, and start her new life and career as a recruit.


Either way - yer covered, and didn't do anything horribly nasty.


Here's a list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...ting_companies


Someone's gotta be having a meeting in yer town on the day you wanna do this.

Good luck!
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Old 05-11-2010, 09:57 PM   #18
Sexy Roxanne
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You could always carry an adult dipper with you and then excuse yourself to the restroom, LMFAOOOO!!!
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Old 05-11-2010, 09:58 PM   #19
rCoder
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A handful of tittie at the most inappropriate time (for example, while talking to the minister at church).

A nice, loud, love pat in a quiet crowd.

In other words, be overly frisky at the wrong place and the wrong time. Be sure to ignore her at the right place and times...
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Old 05-11-2010, 10:05 PM   #20
LadiesFan
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This will be FUN !!!
Remind her that your next date will be the magical, time to fuk, 3rd date. Then let her know that you have a phobia of vagina and only enjoy anal and oral sex.. in that order. You are also allergic to latex, so there will be no condoms... besides, who needs condoms for anal or oral? no babies come from those places!!!!

You can't lose.. either she goes away, or puts out the good stuff

LF
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Old 05-11-2010, 11:12 PM   #21
78704
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RALPHEY BOY View Post
send her my way, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't like loud music and I don't stay out late...

she sounds like my kind of gal!!

I'm with REB.

Sounds like a woman who won't appreciate adrenaline; take her cliff diving at Pace Bend Park, or for a motorcycle ride, or...

I'm coming up with all my favorite dates. Breaking into Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago after midnight and sneaking around, avoiding the guards, was pretty reliably the best foreplay I've ever had. Of course, I'm old and fat now, can't do that any more; ah, youth....
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Old 05-11-2010, 11:22 PM   #22
Sensual Sophia
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Take her to Beerland. Make sure there are some really loud punk bands playing. The only place you can hear yourself think will be outside in the smoking section. For dinner, get her a slice of pizza at Hoex -- the one that plays the loud death metal.
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Old 05-11-2010, 11:31 PM   #23
sixxbach
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sensual Sophia View Post
Take her to Beerland. Make sure there are some really loud punk bands playing. The only place you can hear yourself think will be outside in the smoking section. For dinner, get her a slice of pizza at Hoex -- the one that plays the loud death metal.
sounds like my kind of date! love some death metal!!!
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Old 05-12-2010, 04:39 AM   #24
GRIN OF SIN
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Stick with the classics...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvZgwtpPmLY
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Old 05-12-2010, 08:37 AM   #25
Monk Rasputin
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ztonk, if despite the smarmy suggestions above you still make it between the sheets, a testament to your very high BFE quotient, this might be the perfect way to spoil the experience. There’s really nothing quite like a Dutch Oven…

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dutch%20oven&p age=2

Monk
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:04 AM   #26
rekcaSxT
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Have you seen the movie "My Best Friend's Girl"? There are some great ideas in there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RCzOenCtMg
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:09 AM   #27
rekcaSxT
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFK3Spacdus
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Old 05-12-2010, 11:36 AM   #28
Carl
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In the middle of sex, scream out her dad's name.
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Old 05-12-2010, 12:18 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl View Post
In the middle of sex, scream out her dad's name.

Nah, scream her sister's or her best friend's!!!
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Old 05-12-2010, 02:24 PM   #30
Monk Rasputin
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Tell her that you're thinking of changing your handle to "Smegma" because it describes you better than "ztonk" does.

Monk
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