Providers who "hate" behind the scenes

[Lovelyelle_01]

Originally Posted by Jannisary

The "hobby" can be a cutthroat world.

People like to dress it up and talk about "community", "sisterhood", "friendship", "proper etiquette", and all of that... Yeah, while those things may not be total fabrications they do rest on very shaky ground.

I've got an idea of the situation that prompted this thread, its not all that unique. At least in this situation it was pretty much right out there. Other times a provider might engage in a quiet whisper and rumor campaign over an extended period to discredit and cause problems for someone. Anyways...

If I found out a provider I was interested in seeing was causing problems for another provider it would impact on how I viewed her. It would definitely make me more cautious in any dealings with her.

YES!!! I learned of this very quickly, the HARD WAY, but I won't get into THAT... I also learned very quickly that a lot of these girls will befriend you for as long as they think they'll benefit from the connection. This is why I'm extremely particular about who I trust. Cutthroat is an extremely accurate term when describing the actual makings of the hobby.

[Jannisary]

Yeah, the throat cutting and backstabbing can pretty much go hand in hand.

[Gladiator69]

It would and has effected my relationship with a couple ladies in the past. It ended up by me choosing not to see either of them anylonger. I'm not looking for drama in the hobby.

[alluringava]

Originally Posted by Lovelyelle_01

I have found that a lot of Providers who have been around for awhile claim to be settled in the business with no worries and a regular flow of clientele. My question is, if they are so "SETTLED" and content with their business, why do some (not ALL) feel the need to use distasteful tactics to block other Providers? One example of this is blatantly encouraging other Providers NOT TO provide someone with reference information. Gentlemen, if you knew a lady operated in this way, would it influence your decision to spend time with her?

She obviously isn't settled and content with her businessshe obviously has worries, and she most likely doesn't have a regular flow of clientele, or she'd be willing to help out her working sisters with references. I haven't gotten an e mail from this person yet.

[alluringava]

Originally Posted by Lovelyelle_01

YES!!! I learned of this very quickly, the HARD WAY, but I won't get into THAT... I also learned very quickly that a lot of these girls will befriend you for as long as they think they'll benefit from the connection. This is why I'm extremely particular about who I trust. Cutthroat is an extremely accurate term when describing the actual makings of the hobby.

You have to learn the hard way. I was just warned about one particular provider on THIS board who pretended to befriend me and then I found out from other providers AND clients that she was not to be trusted and latched onto me because she saw me as an easy mark since I was new to Eccie. The best thing to do as a provider is really this:

STAY TO YOURSELF and keep to yourself. Be reference friendly, but don't befriend other providers. It just isn't always a wise thing to do, and anything you reveal personally can always be used against you by the less scrupulous.

[Lovelyelle_01]

Originally Posted by alluringava

She obviously isn't settled and content with her businessshe obviously has worries, and she most likely doesn't have a regular flow of clientele, or she'd be willing to help out her working sisters with references. I haven't gotten an e mail from this person yet.

Those who act in this manner only do so because they feel like their time has passed. There is NO OTHER reasonable explanation for this type of behavior. Personal issues should be left where they are, within your person. You probably won't get an email from anyone concerning this issue since you are not in the area. But, as Chica stated earlier, this is NOT going to turn into a thread about an isolated incident. (Your hear that, Chica? )I am speaking IN GENERAL here...

Originally Posted by alluringava

You have to learn the hard way. I was just warned about one particular provider on THIS board who pretended to befriend me and then I found out from other providers AND clients that she was not to be trusted and latched onto me because she saw me as an easy mark since I was new to Eccie. The best thing to do as a provider is really this:

STAY TO YOURSELF and keep to yourself. Be reference friendly, but don't befriend other providers. It just isn't always a wise thing to do, and anything you reveal personally can always be used against you by the less scrupulous.

I don't agree that you shouldn't befriend other Providers. I DO think that you should be careful. But, just like in the "Real World", I'm not the type of woman who can go through life trusting no one and not building solid and meaningful friendships. Now, does this mean that I go around instantly trusting everyone and spilling all of my personal beans? HELL NO! But, I have found that if you do your research and follow your instincts, you'll be fine. It is possible to attract good company and let the leeches fall to the side.

[jaydalee]

I have to agree to a certain extent with AlluringAva's comment.
"STAY TO YOURSELF and keep to yourself. Be reference friendly, but don't befriend other providers. It just isn't always a wise thing to do, and anything you reveal personally can always be used against you by the less scrupulous. "

In this business you might meet providers who are really cool people but for the most part keeping to yourself can keep you out of a lot of drama!Another poster said this is a cut-throat business and he is right I know here in Vegas it can really be cut-throat.
All this time I have been in this business I keep to myself I have a handful of provider friends I can count on one hand.Some providers will portray that they are nice and kind will help you some are genuine but there are many that are not.

[pyramider]

The thing to remember is real life, or hobby . . . You can probably count your real friends on one hand.

[Lovelyelle_01]

Originally Posted by pyramider

The thing to remember is real life, or hobby . . . You can probably count your real friends on one hand.

+1. EXACTLY! Contrary to popular belief, this place is not much different from the "Real World".

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by pyramider

You can probably count your real friends on one hand.

Actually, I can't. I don't have any REAL friends.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by jaydalee

I have to agree to a certain extent with AlluringAva's comment.
"STAY TO YOURSELF and keep to yourself. Be reference friendly, but don't befriend other providers. It just isn't always a wise thing to do, and anything you reveal personally can always be used against you by the less scrupulous. "

In this business you might meet providers who are really cool people but for the most part keeping to yourself can keep you out of a lot of drama!Another poster said this is a cut-throat business and he is right I know here in Vegas it can really be cut-throat.

I have to say, it really does depend. I found that working together with other providers (for example touring) can sometimes be a hassle. But friendships to other providers i think are ok. I don`t tour together anymore, used to do that a lot , when younger, until i made certain bad experiences, and the friendship was at stake.

I think it`s like in real life, too. Some people you like and some you don`t. Some you have a purely professional relationship with, and some you become friends. I would not say that this business is any more "cut throat" than any other business (or lets say "competitive business").

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Shayla

I rarely ask providers for references just to avoid this shit. I do my own screening 90% of the time. I get asked for references a lot and I do give them promptly. The last thing I want to see is anyone get hurt or in trouble especially when it could have been avoided.

+1 . Never trust anyone. I mean private is private but business is business. In private you can`t control everything, and it is not necessary, but in business you can. As the russians say: Trust is good, but control is better ;-)

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Lovelyelle_01

Aww, Chica... Such the party pooper , lol, JK! Fair enough... BUT, seeing that this is a VERY CLEAR display of questionable character, shouldn't Providers like this get exposed?

No offense, i have no clue who is talked about (as usually..... ) but even if someone is of questionable character, who are we to judge? I don`t think we should be judge , jury and executioner on someone else`s behaviour and therefor i don`t condone outing of anyone.

Granted, i have my own "retarded HDH" i bitch about some times, But i would also never publicly display on who she is. That is despicable and shows that WE are not better in our character, sorry.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Actually, I can't. I don't have any REAL friends.

That's too bad for you now isn't it...

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

No offense, i have no clue who is talked about (as usually..... ) but even if someone is of questionable character, who are we to judge? I don`t think we should be judge , jury and executioner on someone else`s behaviour and therefor i don`t condone outing of anyone.

Granted, i have my own "retarded HDH" i bitch about some times, But i would also never publicly display on who she is. That is despicable and shows that WE are not better in our character, sorry.

I disagree, Nina. I won't elaborate because I don't want chica to give me points for exposing her .