Ladies & Gents: What would you be more upset with?

[alluringava]

Originally Posted by Roothead

Guess you could finesse this either way... I assume there are ladies that would object to the physical aspect of the "service", along with the cost aspect (spending money on the provider for services), but who would see that it was not an emotional thing.... for the affair, you have the physical, emontional and financial aspects all involved... which I think strikes to the core issue of infidelity and how you personally define it....

My SO tells me that as long as I bring home the moola, treat her and the kiddies well and am "there" when I am home (I travel all the time) and do not embarrass her or otherwise shame our relationship, she is fine with me "doing what I have to do" it's the old case of "DADT"... and, the same goes for her.... strange through it may seem, it has worked for us for more than 16yrs

It seems to me that many wives of wealthy men either turn a blind eye to their husband's infidelity, OR, they might have an understanding as you do with your wife. Since I'm Asian, in many Asian cultures, this is the way it is also. Although modern times have seen that when women go to work they're less apt to put up with their husband's mistresses and concubines.

I had a client who said to me that his wife didn't care what he did, that 'he could cheat until his dick fell off' as long as he kept her in high style and all that. That sounded kind of crude to me. I felt like, if a man told me, " You shouldn't care what I do behind your back and I won't care what you do behind mine," then we don't care for each other much at all to begin with. I think I'd rather be alone.

That being said in SOME cases, such as yours, it can work out. Your wife is understanding, and you're never going to leave her, she knows that.

[cnym]

Absolute Disaster all the way around, nothing but a lose / lose situation
Mistress or Provider .----- same reaction
The crying
Then the Screaming
Then the Threats
The Bitter Divorce
Miserable life for both thereafter, bitter, bitter, bitter... especially if children are involved.

I am amazed on how many providers would react the same if their husband had an affair or has been with a provider.---same behavior----divorce

I would like to ask a different Question, Maybe the Wife needs to ask herself of WHY her husband has a mistress or visits providers?
Lets get to the Core Cause

[alluringava]

Originally Posted by cnym

Absolute Disaster all the way around, nothing but a lose / lose situation
Mistress or Provider .----- same reaction
The crying
Then the Screaming
Then the Threats
The Bitter Divorce
Miserable life for both thereafter, bitter, bitter, bitter... especially if children are involved.

I am amazed on how many providers would react the same if their husband had an affair or has been with a provider.---same behavior----divorce

I would like to ask a different Question, Maybe the Wife needs to ask herself of WHY her husband has a mistress or visits providers?
Lets get to the Core Cause

A few clients have told me they have great sex with their wives but want 'variety' because men are not meant to be faithful by evolution. Hmm.

[cnym]

Originally Posted by alluringava

A few clients have told me they have great sex with their wives but want 'variety' because men are not meant to be faithful by evolution. Hmm.

Good excuse, but I do not believe it, sorry.

once the woman gets married, gets all she wants in the material things that she has been brainwashing to dream about since she was a little child. Then she stops taking care of her husbands sexual needs. The husband ends up being "Taken For Granted"
A smart wife will get everything that she wants if she gives her husband the kind of sex that he wants.

[cnym]

The High School Guy buys Condoms in the ONE pack, Just in case he gets lucky.

The University Guy buys Condoms in the SEVEN pack, one for Monday, one for Tuesday, one for Wednesday, .....

The Married guy buys Condoms in the TWELVE pack, one for January, one for February, one for March, ....

When a Guy is dating, he gets bbbj cim nqns, cfs, maybe Greek in addition to the other GF stuff.

When a guy gets married and with time, the bj becomes no more than a few minutes, no CIM any more, and Greek... No way forgetaboutit.

[Laz]

Originally Posted by alluringava

A few clients have told me they have great sex with their wives but want 'variety' because men are not meant to be faithful by evolution. Hmm.

Bullshit. I am not judging others but at least be honest. We are not mindless automatons driven by biological necessity.

[pyramider]

Yes we are.

[AdventureAdams]

Yes I think guys just recognize this primal urge more intensely than most females do.

My philosophy is we are only on this earth to fuck, everything we do while we aren't fucking (work, school and hobbies) are just things we do to distract us until the next time we fuck or increase our chances of fucking in the future.
Marriage was just enacted initially as a property transfer really where the woman is up for sale with the promise of birthing children and passing down the mans name. Marriage for love really become mainstream until the late 16th or 17th century I think.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by SkylarCruzWantsYou

My philosophy is we are only on this earth to fuck, everything we do while we aren't fucking (work, school and hobbies) are just things we do to distract us until the next time we fuck or increase our chances of fucking in the future.

Interesting Fucking Philosophy.

Originally Posted by SkylarCruzWantsYou

Marriage was just enacted initially as a property transfer really where the woman is up for sale with the promise of birthing children and passing down the mans name. Marriage for love really become mainstream until the late 16th or 17th century I think.

+1

[alluringava]

Originally Posted by Laz

Bullshit. I am not judging others but at least be honest. We are not mindless automatons driven by biological necessity.

Well their excuse or reasoning was that men need to spread their seed far and wide, and that monogamy was a myth rather than a reality.

[Guest080212]

Originally Posted by alluringava

Well their excuse or reasoning was that men need to spread their seed far and wide, and that monogamy was a myth rather than a reality.

Not to many animals spring to mind that are monogamous and plants spred their seed without even needing contact.

[Laz]

Originally Posted by alluringava

Well their excuse or reasoning was that men need to spread their seed far and wide, and that monogamy was a myth rather than a reality.

I agree that guys are more inclined to want to have sex with damn near anything in a skirt. However, making the claim that they lie and cheat because that is the way men are is BS. Just because I want to does not mean I have to. We all make choices and if someone chooses to cheat on their spouse they should be honest with themselves. There are many reasons for it to occur but because I am made that way is not one of them.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Exhibitbob

Not to many animals spring to mind that are monogamous and plants spred their seed without even needing contact.

http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/ani...-mate-for-life

I will say that not all examples fall in the Animal Kingdom. Birds, fish and insects are also represented in this list.

[tonytiger4u]

I think cheating is more about making an emotional commitment to another person than it is about blowing a load here or there. So there is big difference between mistress and provider. My SO would agree. Yes, we've talked about it. if I started taking time away from home and spending it with another women and then mentally was "still with her" when at home, that would worse cheating even if there was no sex, than hiring a provider. Neither is a great situation, though. Sexual frustration is not a good enough reason to throw away 18 years so you try to make something work. Oops! Going a bit to far here...

[Still Looking]

Simply amazing how people can spin things around to make it word for them! I love it! LOL