Question for all

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

I like this thread.

When I was more active in the bar game. It always bothered me some would go to the notel hotel. Before checking each other out over a drink.

Originally Posted by JEN OF SYRACUSE

Yea OSD I figured It would be a good topic and wanted to hear how everyone else felt about this kind of situation

I should have added a "at least" after drink.

Here gals check with gals for info, guys from guys, mostly. And watch how each other post.
Bars it was more of a mix for asking for info. And watching was live. Bar game has to much street like play for me now days. One side thinking just the cash as the other side think to much with little head.

The only thing the bar game use to have over the board. If you have seen before. And both where ok with each other. Things could be more spontaneous over making plans. I miss just seeing each other an one could tell lets go or not with someone you know. But rather give that up, over jumping into not safe. Or would not enjoy each other.

[Guest091813]

that 6th sense is there for a reason..

"if something don't seem right..you'd better take flight!!!"

[newcpl]

Always go with "the gut". Uncanny how accurate it is! Not only are you a little doll your smart too! Flirt. Flirt.

[tommylove]

absolutely correct decision and i have never met you.

[Deepthinker]

Originally Posted by JEN OF SYRACUSE

I was wondering if you set up an appt with someone thinking you were gonna go thru with it but when you get there a bad vibe comes over you or you see something out of the ordinary would you still go thru with the appt and second guess your gut or would you back out?

Originally Posted by JEN OF SYRACUSE

Last night I had an appt the person contacted me last minute and it was almost 1 am and when he was pulling into my location a horrible feeling came over me.Im the kind of person that never second guesses my gut because I believe it will never steer me wrong and I didnt go thru with the appt. anythings liable to happen that late at night and my safety is to important for me to second guess my gut and end up regretting it in the end.Just like guys have the big head and little head we have our gut intuition

Originally Posted by JEN OF SYRACUSE

your right Perryay the only time I take late appts like that is if its with someone ive seen before because there are nuts in this world and you never know what can happen at those hours

Originally Posted by JEN OF SYRACUSE

Yea safety and discretion are my top priorities and thanks NB

Well with this additional info, allow me to play a little Devil's Advocate such that your WKs can exercise their fingers a bit. Of course everyone is going to jump in here as they have and tell you that you did the right thing as you should not put yourself at risk. However, there is really very little "scientific" evidence that you were at increased risk or that your so called "gut" feeling has any merit. You can call it gut , but that is really a euphemism for having second thoughts and changing your mind. When you decided not to follow through with the appointment, you had no more info than when you made the appointment. Therefore your gut steered you wrong from the start in ever making the appointment.

When you asked the original question, I thought the gut feeling to not follow through would have some reason like you met the guy and he acted very oddly. Instead, you allowed the guy to drive to your place at 1 a.m. thinking he was going to have his fun and then you did not follow through through no fault of his. If I put myself in his shoes, I would be pretty miffed. The problem was that you shouldn't have made the appointment in the first place if you were not comfortable with a 1 a.m. appointment (although I would submit that someone as big as NB could strangle you at 9 pm as easily as 1 am so not sure of the validity of that reasoning).

I actually think that your big head/little head analogy does not apply , and in fact, it is the exact opposite as what you are saying. You are saying that your gut intuition trumps the logic whereas the guys are saying that when we get into trouble it is because we listen to the hormone driven little head INSTEAD of our logical big head at our own peril.

So, again, it is tough to tell you that you must do an appointment after you have had what you describe as a "horrible feeling" come over you as the appointment is already off on the wrong foot. However, I also can't say that you were right to accept an appointment from a guy and then leave him in the parking lot at 1 a.m. when he did nothing to deserve that. I would have to say that overall, you were in the wrong as you should not have accepted the appointment if you did not feel comfortable with it. Once you accepted it, there does not appear to be any change in circumstances that would warrant abandonment. I hope you have at least apologized to him for doing that. I am curious as to what happened when you changed your mind. Did you ignore his text/call when he arrived or did you talk to him and tell him you changed your mind? How did it go down and how did he take it?

By the way Jen, this is nothing personal against you as I like you and think you are quite thoughtful. The fact that you asked the question shows you care and I thought you would also want to hear from a viewpoint of the guy who might have felt stiffed by not getting the date. It is always good to try to understand all sides of an arguement or situation.

[JEN OF SYRACUSE]

Ok Deepthinker ofcourse a simple what would you do question gets turned into something bigger than what it should be...I just wanted to see what other people would do in that situation and theres no need to say WKs can come in and take up for me im a big girl I can speak for myself.Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and just because you beleive in "logic" and not gut premononitions doesnt mean everyone else does as well.Like I said my gut has never steered me wrong and im pretty sure other people have been in a situation where they got there and their sixth sense was telling them somethings not right and to leave but they second guessed it and either the service was horrible,it was a sting, or something else may have happened for that matter.Like I said you have your opinion I have mine now have a nice day

[Deepthinker]

The WK comment is not a slam against you. It is simply a comment based on past history of what happens on our board in such situations.

Sorry to see you get short with me as I thought my answer was fair. Where I was wrong is thinking that you asked because you wanted to hear all sides. If I had known that you were only interested in the answers that supported your actions, I would not have bothered writing that response.

As for "gut" -- that gets a better rap than it deserves because people tend to only use it when the outcome is positive. When a person makes a decision that works out well with substandard info, they credit their gut with that good outcome. When it ends poorly, they tend to just kick themselves and say they made a bad decision rather than saying their gut made the bad decision. However every bankrupt gambler followed their gut as did many who lost their money in the stock market etc. On the other hand, if my airline pilot decides to ignore the air traffic data and take a different route as a gut decision or my surgeon ignores my lab tests and decides to remove my kidney because he had a gut feeling that it might have cancer in the future, I'd be pretty disappointed in that decision making process. If that works for you so be it.

Now I will go have that nice day you recommended.

[JEN OF SYRACUSE]

When I gamble I use my gut and it works to my advantage when I do daily things I use my gut maybe I have a different outlook on things than you do like I said MY gut has never steered me wrong so take it how you want...enjoy that nice day that I recommended

[JEN OF SYRACUSE]

And the comment you made about people not saying it was their gut when the outcome is negative is false...when they had the sting in Syracuse I know one of the girls that got arrested and she said her gut was telling her not to go but she did anyways and ended up doing 3 months

[JEN OF SYRACUSE]

And were not talking about a pilot or a surgeon here so that statement doesnt apply either...were talking about something that is illegal and frowned upon and at any given time anything is liable to happen screening is not always 100% look at my thread about the bareback when he walked in I had a bad vibe and tried making the best of the situation and it worked against me,he requested bareback and shorted me now if I wouldve listened to my gut and ended the session before it started all that could have been avoided but I didnt and look what happened

[Sam54]

Okay....so now I am just curious! I am happy for your safety Jen and all, but, if you didn't go through with it, what happened after this?? Did he call you to find out what happened? Did he just go away? Did you talk to him? etc... There needs to be a finish to this story!!

[JEN OF SYRACUSE]

Yes I talked to him and told him my reasons and told him I would give him gas money for his waste of time and he sent me a few hateful emails so in the end I thiink I made the right decision

[NormalBob]

From most alerted on guy in the area to White Knight in one day...

But back to topic, guys will leave themselves the out of checking things out whether driving by or confirming if the woman is the same in the photos or getting a dine or dash sense once in the room...

Seems like when it comes to the Yin for our Yang, cancelling an appointment because her spidey sense says no seems like a fair other side of the coin option. Also, if she's freaked out, is that the makings of a good first meeting?

If I was the guy and drove a ways only to get stood up at 1am after my libido was in high drive, I would probably be pissed. Still in the light of day, if it's a legitimate conversation about real concerns, wouldn't most guys calm down?

I mean look at her for god's sake. Wouldn't you find a way to regain your composure to try, try again?

[JEN OF SYRACUSE]

Thank you for getting my point Normal Bob and I believe if were both not comfortable the appt wont go the way its suppose to

[NormalBob]

I'd encourage a gracious attempt at renewing a legitimate conversation about real concerns, most guys will calm down when stroked the right way.

You can be the polite one since you are as confident as you are.