How Do You Say "NO".. Professionally & Politely

[China Doll]

Growler, I could be wrong, but I think I speak for a few of the ladies when I make the following statement: The reason that we do not view it as "the pot calling the kettle black" is that we know that we use protection 100% of the time. We do not know that the men do, however, which increases our risk significantly. I understand what you mean, though; I'm just telling you my side.
Relevant to this thread is a conversation I have been having with a not-so-gentlemanly fellow today. I declined seeing him two or three weeks ago because he was "window shopping" and contacting numerous providers in a short amount of time. The involved providers and I agreed that it was creepy, and we chose not to see him. Personally, I don't want to see a guy who feels that anyone would be sufficient. We all provide unique experiences! He and I "parted" on good terms.
He messaged me today, weeks later, on E.com with some very insulting things to say. Why the hell won't you see me? Who are you to judge? It's your mistake, I'm a huge tipper! I have plenty of other whores I can see! Et cetera, et cetera. This, my friends, is why we ignore people sometimes.

[growler]

Originally Posted by China Doll

Growler, I could be wrong, but I think I speak for a few of the ladies when I make the following statement: The reason that we do not view it as "the pot calling the kettle black" is that we know that we use protection 100% of the time. We do not know that the men do, however, which increases our risk significantly. I understand what you mean, though; I'm just telling you my side.
Relevant to this thread is a conversation I have been having with a not-so-gentlemanly fellow today. I declined seeing him two or three weeks ago because he was "window shopping" and contacting numerous providers in a short amount of time. The involved providers and I agreed that it was creepy, and we chose not to see him. Personally, I don't want to see a guy who feels that anyone would be sufficient. We all provide unique experiences! He and I "parted" on good terms.
He messaged me today, weeks later, on E.com with some very insulting things to say. Why the hell won't you see me? Who are you to judge? It's your mistake, I'm a huge tipper! I have plenty of other whores I can see! Et cetera, et cetera. This, my friends, is why we ignore people sometimes.

China I meant no disrepect by the statement. The reasoning just struck me as odd. I see your point about protection, it should always be a concern. And it unfortunate that not eveyone acts like a gentleman.

[China Doll]

I didn't take it as disrespect...worry not! Oh, and I agree completely that it is unfortunate that not every man is a gentleman. Luckily for the ladies, there are plenty of you out there. <3

[Vixen DeVain]

For those of you who maybe interested.. I respectfully declined & wished him well.. Later on this afternoon, he responded and told me if I ever changed my mind then to Email him.
It's like this.. for me at least.. I don't know WHY anyone would need 100 or 200+ provider Ok's.. Why would you want 200 women giving you thumbs up?
Don't get me wrong~I was raised in a LARGE family ((22cousins on one side & I'm the ONLY girl)) of boys and I know if you could coat your "double ott" in gold.. you probably would..
I just don't see why you'd need so many.. now.. if you have 50 over a span of 5 years... do the math..

That's pretty funny. I always picked about 4 ok's I thought were the most solid references and deleted the rest for exactly the reason you mentioned. I figured that having only as many as I needed from the most drama-free providers was the the best strategy. Even though I was nowhere near the 200 mark, I always suspected that too many ok's (especially from providers who might be prone to drama) was detrimental.

Couldn't have said it better myself.. actually

"When in doubt, tell the truth." I think you handled the problem quite tactfully, diplomatically and honestly. If someone has a problem with me, I would very much want to be told the reason why because if it is a problem that is correctable, then I can take corrective action. It not, then that's life. We guys have feelings too and don't enjoy just being blown off with "just because". At least, thass' what I t'ink.

I rarely find myself in doubt.. I always follow my gut.. it tends to lead me the way.. but.. I always tell the truth.. Even if it isn't exactly what someone wanted to hear.. ya know??
Could be a fault.. I dont know..

All I know is I got some great advice today from ya'll and I appreciate each response. He wasn't rude and seemed to understand and even told me to contact him if I changed my mind..

Ya'll are great!! Thanks again
XOOXOXOXO

[Guest030911]

Hey *V*,

I also prefer "virgins".
Haven't seen you since I took yours a couple of years ago.

Give me a shout!

[okcdude1971]

I like to consider myself a normal thinking guy with a few minor hang ups. If I was told no I don't want to see you, it would really bother me. Being straight forward with the truth will allow me to understand your thinking, but if you just say nothing or no then I'm left thinking WTF? Your reply could have been more to the point but it is better than a non response or just a thanks but no thanks. Again, if you just told him not intrested, it would really bother me and I'm sure I would inquir as to why and you would not respond and I would be like "what a bitch" and would not recommend you to others. By the way this can work both ways :-). Hope this helps.

[daaaaaman]

sorry to bump this after so long but I just found it. That was me she was speaking of. I wanted everyone to know that this was done professionally and I respected her decision.

there are no rules on the board except to treat everyone with respect as far as I am concern. My e mail back to her was "I understand and respect your decision, if you ever change your mind please e mail me".

I never cause anyone any problems and I just like variety, that's all. I enjoy the hobby thoroughly and have met some outstanding ladies over the years. I feel that every lady I have seen is truely a beautiful woman and I know I have always had a great time. Whether you choose to see 1 provider or a 1000, as long as there is mutal respect is all that matters

Again sorry for bumping the thread after so long but I just found it. I just thought it was kind of interesting to see as I remember the request.

[petiteassman]

too many means no date. if the average provider see 6 guys a week for 5 years thats 1500 guys.. thats cool since she knows she used protection but a guy that has 200 providers vouch for him is not ok. why not adverize to see men who have seen between 5-10 providers over the last 18 months and see how business is. damned if you do damned if you dont.

[Tiffany Cums]

I personally will see you no matter how many 'oks' you have, but that would be my personal choice. I do understand her feelings on it, and I'm the last one to pass judgement.

[Shackleton]

I now know who to PM if I ever have a question about any provider.

[petiteassman]

he must be a week or 2 behind on his pm's and email. god bless him and may he continue to enjoy as many women as his health, money and god will allow him to.

Originally Posted by Shackleton

I now know who to PM if I ever have a question about any provider.

[GinaXXX]

I think that everyone (provider and client) deserves the courtesy of a response, and for that reason I'm considering putting in an Appointment Setting System of some sort, once we get the Private Messaging rolled out and working smoothly.

Something that would work like this;

1. When you contact a provider to INQUIRE about an appointment, only a Limited View of your profile and your Handle (not Client Id) would show.

2. When you are ready to BOOK an appointment, you would send an Appointment Request, that would open up a Full View of your Profile and show your Client Id.

3. The provider would receive appt request, and have three choices;

a) respond positively to date and time, including final instruction
b) respond positively, requesting adjusted date and time
c) respectfully decline

4. if a) Client would then respond back, confirming final instructions (Appt BOOKED)
if b) Client and provider would go back and forth until a) or c) was reached
if c) Client would move on to his next prospect

At any time in the process, the appointment process could be canceled by either party, with a simple note sent.

If the process appears to be aborted by either side prior to final resolution by non-response, it would put a little note on their account for me to see... and perhaps one day showing to everyone.

Just some ideas, and input would be welcome!

Sincerely,
Gina

www.preferred411.com

PS: xoxo Daaaaaman

[guest040711-1]

I have 73 okays on P411, 69 ECCIE reviews, hundreds more on other sites and I'd wager about 60 rejections. I appreciate a honest reply like " I don't think we would click" then I start the HUNT over again.

[caroline!]

Originally Posted by Vixen DeVain

Ok, I've gotten several requests from a gent who wants to see me. I went to screen him and he is 'ok' by many providers.. the problem for me was..
he had over 200 okays.
It's my choice but I choose to not see him. Is there a right way or a wrong way to tell him I prefer to not see him. The Email I replied was short and sweet.
Went along the lines of:
To put this delicately. I do not see us doing business together now or any time in the future.
Due to an over abundance of shows. Please understand & do not take this personally.
What do ya'll think? May I have some feedback??
I'm not a mean, nasty person & I don't like to be rude if possible. I just didn't know how else to say what needed to be said.

Please help

NO one likes rejection, rude, etc. In the end, it is your body: you say "who" you say "when". For whatever reason you decide NOT to see him that's your biz and I wouldn't explain to him "why". Besides, he's probably already read this thread and got the picture. Next time just politely DECLINE. Keep it short and to the point.

[Spaulding Smails]

Hmmm, if this criteria were to become ubiquitous, then the more prolific cocksmen may begin managing their OKs more proactively. I totally understand Vixen's rationale, but would also say that it has some fallacies: 1) prolific guys who manage their OKs, 2) gents who request very few OKs (a form of proactive management), and 3) gents who have been quite prolific outside of the P411 screening/booking system. Imagine if there was similar data available on providers? Well, honestly, most guys probably wouldn't care.

Gina, I really like your changes, especially the limited view. Too may providers use my client ID rather than my username in appointments. Actually, the username seems to kind of go unnoticed altogether. Makes me nervous every time I go to the mall with my SO. Sounds like some great improvements coming to P411!