Leaving aside questions regarding your lack of discretion, your body issues, and other battles you always seem to step into Sassy, I think this comment makes me wonder about you the most-
Quote:
I had made a promise to someone to stay until next year and since I always keep my promises I am. My fiance' while not entirely happy about it supports me.
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Why would you give a promise to stay in a negative situation? From what I can tell the hobby environment has become increasingly hostile towards you. By your own admission you aren't suited for it. You also admit to several mistakes and errors of judgement which have only made it more difficult for you. Finally, you are putting a future on hold with a man who objects to your present activities. If your fiance "isn't entirely happy" about your decision are you really sure he fully "supports" you. Are his concerns less important than some promise you made to another party? Is that a good way to launch a future?
Seems like this "promise" holds diminishing value for you, and maybe this "someone" to whom you are beholden doesn't have your interests at heart.
Maybe it's time to get out while you are behind. Just sayin.'