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06-17-2011, 06:04 PM
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#16
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 30, 2009
Location: edge of mesquite
Posts: 436
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So funny!!!!!
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06-17-2011, 07:34 PM
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#17
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Apr 23, 2009
Location: Lupanaria
Posts: 2,057
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It had something to do with FUMA...
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06-18-2011, 09:11 AM
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#18
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 25, 2009
Location: Dallas
Posts: 542
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Ew. I thought I could stomach a quick read of this thread. Now I just lost breakfast all over my keyboard. It was a combination of several things the ladies said...
Oh, and the time I nosed down there and had to pull out some toilet paper from her cooch to get to the goods! (Truth is that I didn't continue!)
My, the memories.
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06-18-2011, 09:31 AM
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#19
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 1092
Join Date: May 8, 2009
Location: Dallas
Posts: 1,349
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Braveheart
Ew. I thought I could stomach a quick read of this thread. Now I just lost breakfast all over my keyboard. It was a combination of several things the ladies said...
Oh, and the time I nosed down there and had to pull out some toilet paper from her cooch to get to the goods! (Truth is that I didn't continue!)
My, the memories.
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06-18-2011, 09:38 AM
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#20
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Premium Access
Join Date: Nov 22, 2009
Location: DFW
Posts: 134
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Its funny someone mentioned Seattle. I had similar experience. Was suppose to fly to Japan for my next duty station but flight cancelled. So was at hotel and horny. So called a service asked for a blonade but got a latina(very pretty) so I was good. Anyway we get naked put cover on and have fun. I feel wet all of a sudden and look down and im all red. Must be something about those Seattle girls. She wasn't even embarrassed she just asked me if I still wanted a happy ending lol
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06-18-2011, 12:00 PM
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#21
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Mar 26, 2011
Posts: 31
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Not a hobby session, but I was banging the hell out of a civie chick once and Aunt Flo decided to pop in for surprise visit. It looked like something out of a horror movie when I finally climbed off and saw what had occurred! I originally though I had done some damage to the poor girl. I eventually recovered from my psychological trauma.
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06-18-2011, 02:32 PM
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#22
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Gaining Momentum
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Location: fort worth
Posts: 41
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Wow, I have been so nervous to have my first hobby experience.....until now. lol.
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06-18-2011, 03:55 PM
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#23
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Nov 21, 2009
Location: Plano, tx
Posts: 359
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I had a session with a provider and she excused herself to go to the bathroom, but she did not close the door and I could see her sitting on the toilet taking a piss. What was worse that this is she was staring at me the entire time. I assumed that she did not want to close the door in case I might rob her or something like that. I have not been back.
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06-20-2011, 09:39 AM
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#24
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 14871
Join Date: Feb 16, 2010
Location: my TONGUE in your ass
Posts: 1,261
My ECCIE Reviews
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Rcg001 - Hey, at least she wasn't STANDING UP!! Omg, now THAT would've been scary! LOL 
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06-20-2011, 10:17 AM
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#25
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Nov 23, 2009
Location: East Tx
Posts: 1,754
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Princess, I think I'd Love to watch you take a piss!! lol
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06-20-2011, 01:00 PM
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#26
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Lifetime Premium Access
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Earth
Posts: 3,158
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rcg001
I had a session with a provider and she excused herself to go to the bathroom, but she did not close the door and I could see her sitting on the toilet taking a piss. What was worse that this is she was staring at me the entire time. I assumed that she did not want to close the door in case I might rob her or something like that. I have not been back.
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yeah I had a provider take a dump with the door open and was talking to me the whole time while she was doing it. I guess that's the TRUE girlfriend experience.
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06-20-2011, 06:13 PM
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#27
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Premium Access
Join Date: Dec 17, 2009
Location: Somewhere Out There
Posts: 2,051
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Well this was more bazaar than gross I think.
I meet the lady for a session. We visit a bit then I get comfortable for a BBBJ. She straddles me, takes out her teeth, puts them on the table, gives me a gum job, reaches over puts her teeth back in, and then starts cowgirl. Yep she was one of those Backpage specials.
People have asked me "how was it", and all I can say is "that it didn't suck".
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06-20-2011, 06:19 PM
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#28
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Dallas
Posts: 948
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got a nice fart blast in my face during doggie once... that so far has been my worst experience.
ive been lucky apparently, heh
and those that squirt and dont warn that they are a squirter, to those of us that are not used to the sort of thing... yeah we basically feel peed on, not cool!
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06-20-2011, 06:47 PM
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#29
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Upgraded Female Account
User ID: 7512
Join Date: Jan 10, 2010
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 776
My ECCIE Reviews
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I had a client come over, and after the session I hear his stomach making this god aweful noise, he then bolts to the bathroom apologizing, says he has the serious poops! This guy was on the toilet for like 20 minutes. he had some serious diarhea. gross! my bathroom stank for a whole day and I think he was embarrassed because he never came back again
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06-20-2011, 10:45 PM
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#30
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Mar 29, 2009
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 285
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Judging by the other responses to this thread, it looks like I've gotten off lucky over the years, but here's mine:
The time I earned my redwings, she apparently started her period mid-cowgirl. Being a natural redhead, with a bit of a lobsteriffic "tan" then, I didn't notice the lower half of my torso was covered in blood 'til I hopped in the shower and saw red water circling the drain. Definitely a bit of a shock to me at the time.
Second place goes to a generic "dear God the smell" that inspired me to set a minimum age requirement and dig a little deeper when picking someone to see.
And an honorable mention to the dog who swiped my boxers and chewed them to slobbery rags while I was playing with his mommy.
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