"I'm going to get the oil changed"

[BossyWillson]

I had a provider pick me up while having work done on my car and the extended-stay motel right next door.
I could have walk to her incall in 10 min's.
Those were the good old days.

[hotlips_houlihan]

I'm still amazed at the number of guys who need "permission" to even get out of the house.

Oh I'm sorry, need to give a "reason" lol

Just goes to show ya which sex really wears the pants in the family.



Ok, ok....I'm being sarcastic tonight. It's late and I have nothing better to do. (but you know I'm right lol)

[Randy4Candy]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

I'm still amazed at the number of guys who need "permission" to even get out of the house.

Oh I'm sorry, need to give a "reason" lol

Just goes to show ya which sex really wears the pants in the family.



Ok, ok....I'm being sarcastic tonight. It's late and I have nothing better to do. (but you know I'm right lol)

Nah, some of us just take our pants and go home...hee hee hee

[angusranch]

Worked out perfect for me about a year ago. A lady I'd been PMing contacted me and said she was gonna be in McKinney. Already had an incall good til noon the next day. Drove in to the dealership, dropped off the truck, and she was there to pick me up. Had a great time and by then the truck was ready. Sure was better than sitting in the waiting lounge watching CNN.

[Sir Lancehernot]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

I'm still amazed at the number of guys who need "permission" to even get out of the house.

Oh I'm sorry, need to give a "reason" lol

Don't be. A lot of jobs by their nature involve a lot of time away from an office. But a lot don't. For those of us who work in such jobs, we don't meet clients or prospects, we don't drive long distances, and we don't work in the field. Instead, the routine is the same every day -- get up, go to work, go home, eat dinner, watch TV, along with whatever activities outside school coursework the kids are involved in. A subset of us don't play golf and don't have friends who could be our beards.

Most of us didn't have the foresight when the marriage began to know that every now and then we'd need to have some unaccounted-for time, so we didn't lay the groundwork by just getting up, walking out the door, and not saying where we were going or when we'd be back. On top of that, it's just common courtesy to tell your spouse. Now, it's too late to change the habits.

Sometimes I wish I'd taken up golf.

[pmdelites]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

I'm still amazed at the number of guys who need "permission" to even get out of the house.

Oh I'm sorry, need to give a "reason" lol

Just goes to show ya which sex really wears the pants in the family.



Ok, ok....I'm being sarcastic tonight. It's late and I have nothing better to do. (but you know I'm right lol)

maybe, but remember, it's women who have the power/control over sex and men who have to promise, pledge, grovel, beg, pay, barter, share, kiss ass, lie, sweet talk, submit, etc. to get it.
and when they cant, they either resort to physical, emotional, or financial power/control/intimidation or go get some w/ another woman.

me included.

now, who is the "weaker gender"???

[hotlips_houlihan]

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Don't be. A lot of jobs by their nature involve a lot of time away from an office. But a lot don't. For those of us who work in such jobs, we don't meet clients or prospects, we don't drive long distances, and we don't work in the field. Instead, the routine is the same every day -- get up, go to work, go home, eat dinner, watch TV, along with whatever activities outside school coursework the kids are involved in. A subset of us don't play golf and don't have friends who could be our beards.

Most of us didn't have the foresight when the marriage began to know that every now and then we'd need to have some unaccounted-for time, so we didn't lay the groundwork by just getting up, walking out the door, and not saying where we were going or when we'd be back. On top of that, it's just common courtesy to tell your spouse. Now, it's too late to change the habits.

Sometimes I wish I'd taken up golf.

I understand the "routine" thing, but are the choke chains so tight at home a guy can't say "I'm going to get a beer and watch the game with some co-workers" or something? I dunno....I've just never been one of those "where ya going, where ya been" kinda of ladies. If my dude wants to go out for awhile then so be it. Gives me time to relax in the tub or whatever without him being all up under me. But hey, that's just me. I don't understand why a woman bugs out about her man wanting to go somewhere. If he's gonna cheat, he will find a way anyway. He doesn't need her "ok" to get out the house to do. *shrug*

Meg

[pmdelites]

meg,

going out somewhere and cheating are not the same thing. one can be used to cover for the other, but they are not the same.

sometimes some men dont have the balls to tell the woman "hey, i need some strange. i'll be back in a couple hrs." either cos they know they will get slapped in the face. or get slapped w/ divorce papers. or cos they dont want to lose what they do have. or for any of a billion or so reasons.

some guys have an s.o./wife who is into "the lifestyle" or enters into an open relationship or turns a blind eye so long as the man doesnt bring anything home [female, male, bacteria, or viruses].

essentially, i believe it boils down to trust. like a provider told me the other day, if you get yourself off, it's not cheating. if someone gets you off, it's cheating. to which i added, but only if the s.o. either doesnt know about it [cos you didnt tell her or lied about it] or doesnt agree to it/approve it.

there's a reason why it's called a hidden hobby and we expend so much energy to hide it from family, friends, co-workers, etc.

and if someone else expends the energy to come up w/ a good cover story, damn right i will consider using it!!! [i'm a lazy hobbyist]

[hotlips_houlihan]

the whole "going out" is the cover story for cheating. what i'm saying is i don't understand why so many women don't like their men to go out, or why so many men have problems getting out of the house for an appt because they can't "account for the extra time they are gone." doesn't make sense to me that a man can't get away for 2 or 3 hours w/o the SO questioning his every move. grow some balls, pull your big boy pants up and say "i'm going to the sports bar to watch the game and have a beer with the guys" or poker night or whatever. a man shouldn't have to give a reason he's going anywhere. he should be able to say "i'm going out for awhile. need anything while i'm gone?" but some of ya'll are just pussy whipped lol

[Sir Lancehernot]

Well, for starters, if you haven't gone out with the boys before, if it's something that comes at her out of deep left field, that in and of itself is enough to raise suspicion.

But even if that doesn't apply, she doesn't have to be suspicious or even necessarily truly interested in what you're doing to ask questions. They'll come up in the normal conversation that occurs between two people who live together: Where'd you go? Who all was there? And if you can't answer those simple questions, or if she asks Tom about your boys' night out the next time she sees him, then the suspicion will start. If she's already suspicious, she might be smart enough to ask if you saw Josh Hamilton's grand slam -- on a night when he went 0-for-4.

If you're going to use friends as a cover, they need to know that they might have to cover for you -- and some of us don't have many friends to start with, let alone any that we trust enough to cover for us.

It's much safer to have some time where you did not have to be, or weren't expected to be, any particular place: your drive from Houston took an hour longer because of construction on I-45; or your plane landed late (better, you were flying Southwest, got to the airport late, and took the next flight).

Or, you might get an opportunity when SHE has to be somewhere: a shower, lunch with a friend, school.

As an aside, the downside of cellphones is that they're an electronic ball-and-chain; the upside is that you can "be" anywhere when she calls. I once knew a provide who spent a few days in Houston while her BF was convinced she was in town the whole time.

[pmdelites]

meg,

i didnt want to say it last post, but i will now.
i'm going to assume that you are a woman. and that you think differently than most men. and for that matter, than most woman. and, due to your occupation, that you are way different than most women.

so, while what you say is theoretically feasible, it is theoretical until you've actually been a man married to a woman or living w/ a woman for some time.

it is different, trust us on this, please!!

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

the whole "going out" is the cover story for cheating.

what i'm saying is i don't understand why so many women don't like their men to go out, or why so many men have problems getting out of the house for an appt because they can't "account for the extra time they are gone."

doesn't make sense to me that a man can't get away for 2 or 3 hours w/o the SO questioning his every move. grow some balls, pull your big boy pants up and say "i'm going to the sports bar to watch the game and have a beer with the guys" or poker night or whatever.

a man shouldn't have to give a reason he's going anywhere. he should be able to say "i'm going out for awhile. need anything while i'm gone?" but some of ya'll are just pussy whipped lol

wrt 1st bolded sentence: there are a gazillion reasons why a woman wouldnt want her man to go out. envy, jealousy, insecurity, control issues, safety, the list goes on and on. they may not be sensible or reasonable, but if the woman feels/believes/thinks it, it is.

wrt 2nd bolded sentence: there are a gazillion reasons why a man has a difficult time getting out for an appt. [i was going to say a "hard" time, ....]. sir lancehernot gave some great reasons. anything out of the norm can cause suspicions. so, we have to figure out ways to cover our tracks. some use business, some use hobbies, some use trips to get the oil changed or car worked on. some dont have to cover their tracks.

wrt 3rd bolded sentence: maybe "a man [or a woman -pmd] shouldn't have to give a reason he's going anywhere" but there are all kinds of reasons why it's a good idea to know. what if something happens and the man needs to be contacted? what if something happens to the man and the woman needs to let friends/cops know where to look?

a woman friend's married uncle used to travel around the world a lot. he would ask her to take him to the airport. one time she asked him, "so, where are you going this trip?" he replied, "none of your goddamn business!" she told him, "well, i just want to know in case we need to reach you. so fuck you - take yourself to the airport." she never took him to the airport again.

turns out his "other woman" would meet him at the airport and would travel together [she was paying most of the expenses].


so, now do you get some idea as to why it is difficult for some men to just "go out for a while"??


"say dear, i have to go to a client's meeting tomorrow afternoon. do you want me to pick up anything from the grocery store on my way home - coffee, cream, hot dogs, soccer balls??"

[Courtney]

Next time u should call me lol I am in the SW area. =]

[hotlips_houlihan]

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Well, for starters, if you haven't gone out with the boys before, if it's something that comes at her out of deep left field, that in and of itself is enough to raise suspicion.

Ok, now THAT makes sense. I guess I just presume most men have always had active social lives and it shouldn't be an issue lol

Originally Posted by pmdelites

meg,

i didnt want to say it last post, but i will now.
i'm going to assume that you are a woman. and that you think differently than most men. and for that matter, than most woman. and, due to your occupation, that you are way different than most women.

so, while what you say is theoretically feasible, it is theoretical until you've actually been a man married to a woman or living w/ a woman for some time.

Last time I checked, yes, I am a woman-thank you very much. So whatever...

I don't think differently than most men. In fact, I think like a man in so many ways it's scary. I guess that's why so many men I know treat me like "one of the guys.". With my occupation, it does afford me the opportunity to be more "open minded" than the average woman I suppose.

I may not be a "man married to a woman" but I have been married. It was never an issue if he wanted to leave the house-and that was before I was in this occupation. Maybe I never had issues because we both had very active social lives away from one another before and during our marriage. I had "my" time with the girls, he had "his" time with the guys, and we had "our" time together. Neither of us questioned the other. We just let it be known that if one of us was doing something we shouldn't, don't get caught. If a grown ass person can't go out by themselves, with friends or whatever w/o their SO questioning their every move, that is just plain effin retarded to me. But what do I know? I'm just a young kid who hasn't grown up yet.

Meg

[pmdelites]

meg, while i have met you at a couple of gatherings, i made the assumption cos you never really know who it is that is typing a post on the internet.

glad that you and your husband worked out an arrangement, esp. the "dont get caught" part. but you gotta know that is RARE in this world.

anyhoo, thanks for your comments.
have a great weekend!