Reviewing The Wreckage

[the.namssa]

One of the things or a ROT (rule of thumb) is........never to see the same girl twice in a row, always see another girl in between.

The other thing I have leaned.....If it has tits or tires, you are going to have problems.

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

That is one of the difficult lessons I learned myself.

You simply cannot see her too often.

It's a tough and counter-intuitive decision because seeing that special girl feels so delicious that she can become addictive.

However, if you are too eager to see her, she knows she's "got" you.

. . . And in the intervals, you need to see other girls.

[Fast Gunn]

Originally Posted by moneytree2012

I've never been in a position to "fall for" but was made to feel that I was just more than a trick. In the end, it was what I was able to provide for her benefit. It wasn't money, but it had monetary value. My litmus test since then is if she will have a "no strings attached" lunch. If the answer is no, I cut the rope, including any further sessions. Fast Gunn, sorry you got hosed the way you did.

That is an interesting test, moneytree and I will have to consider it.

However, the thing that complicates the equation is that women change from day to day and sometimes even from hour to hour.

She may pass your test today, but then suddenly lose interest when she meets a bigger money tree with more fertile branches!

You have a test for interest, but now you need another test for loyalty!

[pickupkid]

btdt....just remember don;t get too attached for she find another and leave you hanging

[Guest010312-3]

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

Rule #1: You have to learn to keep your emotional distance.

We're not playing on a level playing field, fellas. These ladies can see 6 or 10 guys a day while you may see one or two ladies a week. Who do you think is more experienced in these dealings?

This is not always true.....there are those of us who only see that 6 to 10 guys a month (by choice)!!! Relationships within the Hobby aren't easy but then again - relationships in general aren't easy. It can and does happen - I have the last four years to "prove" it. But neither party can view the other as "damaged goods", there has to be open communication and as any relationship in life it takes work and an emotional commitment. I would never recommend someone "look" for a relationship within the Hobby....but I also wouldn't suggest someone to be completely closed to it, IF they were to meet the "right" person and both were interested in more. You never know where you will find love and the perfect person for you.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by the.namssa

If it has tits or tires, you are going to have problems.

I don't care who you are, this is TFF!!!!!

[dwl318]

well the oldest saying's around applies here too. "let the buyer beware" and "can't buy love" all fit. if for one minute u think a provider is saying those sweet nothings into your ear remember you are paying to hear those things. so you paying to have sex and have her say just what you want. so don't fall into the i love you trap. its more like i love your money. now not saying it can't happen. have in my short time in seeing providers seen a provider that has left the hobby to get married. so it happens ok. just no often.

[SneakyCancer]

mine was a stripper. she crossed the line when she went to calling the SO but hey shit happens. she wanted more...as did i but it was more like split up and move in type.

[Fast Gunn]

You're right about your observation, shelby, but even a low-volume provider sees more guys in a given time span than the average hobbiest sees girls.

I have to wonder though why you chose the phrase "damaged goods" as a view to avoid. Makes one wonder.

It seems to me that most providers are very sensitive about certain things and lord help you if you accidentally touch one of those sore spots because there will be hell to pay!

As for the "perfect" person, well, that is only a beautiful illusion that we harbor, isn't it?

. . . A perfect person isn't real and a real person isn't perfect!

Originally Posted by shelby sinful

This is not always true.....there are those of us who only see that 6 to 10 guys a month (by choice)!!! Relationships within the Hobby aren't easy but then again - relationships in general aren't easy. It can and does happen - I have the last four years to "prove" it. But neither party can view the other as "damaged goods", there has to be open communication and as any relationship in life it takes work and an emotional commitment. I would never recommend someone "look" for a relationship within the Hobby....but I also wouldn't suggest someone to be completely closed to it, IF they were to meet the "right" person and both were interested in more. You never know where you will find love and the perfect person for you.

[shaft.drive]

Originally Posted by JohnMacnab

It's a lot like being a biker. There are two kinds of bikers. The ones who have crashed, and the ones who are going to crash.

yes, and "stupid hurts"

every one of us, male or female has been in a relationship where, we feel we are giving more than getting.....such is the nature of relationships

I have seen both; good women and good men being taken advantage of;

[burkalini]

It was my fault for ever starting it. If you open up to get used your going to.

[amusemeant]

The original question was twofold - and asked about civvie life and hobbying.

I would say always that I am at fault. I will always accept responsibility for anything that happens in my life. In this way I avoid becoming a victim, to whom life happens, instead of one who makes her life - as I am.

I have at time sold myself short in civvie life, or just spent more time following the pursuits of others rather than furthering my own interests. I have been known in the past to wear my heart on my sleeve, to be too eager, to let myself dissolve like sugar in someone else's blood....it took me a long time to learn to be happy without having a man at my side, and what function a man should have in my life - if I should decide to have one.

In this hobby I have only dated on client. I believe it was my fault for not being more clear from the start that I would never give up my independence without complete acceptance, security and love and either a guarantee of total support or time allowed to proceed down a path of my choosing to exit with grace the occupation that is supporting myself and my child. The longer we dated, the more he wanted deadlines and 1 year plans, and 5 year plans and all sorts of guarantees that I didn't feel I owe someone I had been dating for just a couple months. More and more of my time when I should have been working was spent with him, too. I finally had to end it.

I do agree with what some of the men are saying about your escorts. Yes, we are getting paid to create a great, dream-like environment for you. Be careful and don't be gullible. If your girl doesn't mention herself hanging off the clock, she probably doesn't want to. Just because you are having a great time, doesn't mean she wants to do it for free. This is our job. If we can make more doing things with someone we enjoy, it makes our work so much easier.....but it's still work. If what we do gives you feelings, we are doing our jobs - that doesn't make us evil. Enjoy it but keep your heart out of it. If a girl is falling for you, you're gonna know. Will it still be about money? Hells yeah because guess what guys? A good provider(man)/boyfriend, better be able to pay the damned bills. You gotta have $$$ no matter what.

Whatever happened to common sense? LOL

[Fast Gunn]

Originally Posted by amusemeant

I would say always that I am at fault. I will always accept responsibility for anything that happens in my life. In this way I avoid becoming a victim, to whom life happens, instead of one who makes her life - as I am.
LOL

Accepting responsibility for your life is a commendable and an adult thing to do.

However, saying you are always at fault is much too harsh a judgment.

No one is always at fault and saying you are only means you have lost objectivity of how the world operates.

[Tiffani Jameson]

You know what this sounds like? You guys are this vulnerable in your civvie lives too. You are very right, when a relationship is not started in truth, it will never end well. But don't make it about providers. We're people too. What you're still failing to do is use your god-given sense to avoid women who try to use you. Not all providers are out to use you, but when she doesn't want to take it further than pay4play, you think the worst of her. But the real trouble are girls who are whores in their real lives. And stop trying to be some girl's daddy/making a play for desperate women and you probably won't have this problem anymore.

If you feel for a girl's situation, patronize and go home.

[Fast Gunn]

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

But don't make it about providers. We're people too. What you're still failing to do is use your god-given sense to avoid women who try to use you. Not all providers are out to use you, but when she doesn't want to take it further than pay4play, you think the worst of her.

Let me clarify the premise here.

This thread is not only about providers, it covers people in civilian life as well.

The opening statement in the lead post made that very clear.

This conversation is meant to explore the causes to these sudden and explosive endings to relationships that you wanted so badly to endure forever, but the other person apparently did not even care.

What happened? Where did it all go wrong?

Was it all just a misunderstanding or was the relationship doomed from the start?

I also wanted to see if there was a consensus as to who was mostly to blame for these painful train wrecks him or her?

And most importantly what lessons have we all learned to avoid or at least minimize the grief and heartache.

The pain suffered in these break-ups can be very painful and the wounds of rejection are sometimes felt for years or even life times. I personally know of some people who could not handle the trauma and put a gun to their head to end the pain.

Make no mistake, we're playing with fire here, folks and it's serious business knowing how to conduct yourself when these affairs go wrong!

[Tiffani Jameson]

I didn't address it to you, Gunn. I was addressing those who did make it about providers, darling. Which was almost everyone else.

Like I tell my brothers, if you can't imagine yourself blind and paralyzed from the neck down and still in love with a person, she's probably not right for you.