To the ladies... would you consider going out with a client for real?

[jbravo_123]

I see nothing wrong with a provider and a client dating each other. It actually makes sense to me since the two are involved in an activity that they can't really talk about with regular people, yet often takes up a large part of our lives.

Of course, these types of relationships are fraught with potential problems (is the provider expected to stop working, is the hobbyist expected to stop hobbying, etc.), but as long as those issues can be worked out, I don't see any reason why a relationship can't be formed.

[Guest062217]

Originally Posted by jbravo_123

I see nothing wrong with a provider and a client dating each other. It actually makes sense to me since the two are involved in an activity that they can't really talk about with regular people, yet often takes up a large part of our lives.

Of course, these types of relationships are fraught with potential problems (is the provider expected to stop working, is the hobbyist expected to stop hobbying, etc.), but as long as those issues can be worked out, I don't see any reason why a relationship can't be formed.

Very true!...I know of one provider and hobbyist that are now either married or getting married. I couldn't believe it myself...but I guess anything is possible.

[Jayhawker]

Originally Posted by Kayla Flowers

50/50 i would say does she allow u to stay longer and chill? text or call u to update u on her life? are u on her personal facebook or Twitter? do u know her real name? have u just hung out as friends no donation? if you cant say yes to a few of those questions she is useing a marketing technique and you almost got played

I am gonna go with Kayla here.

I will say this if you give out your personal info you have to be careful in how it is gonna be used. A single guy really has less worries because he has no one to be accountable to but if his career is dependent on him being an 'upstanding' citizen then the guy should not give out his personal info. There is a lot of under the table request that can be made in exchange for you not being exposed. A guy with a family, not necessarily married but maybe with kids or close family should probably refrain from giving out his info. All it takes is for one request to not be fulfilled before you're getting fb post or tweets commenting about your lifestyle.

However, again, Kayla is right in what she has said.

[Worldtravler]

I hope it's not the same provider that sent me the same text, o hey I'm just up thinking about you, I really enjoy the time we spend together are you free? Yes, why don't you come pick me up and we grab something to eat and hang out. Me okay so I head to her place and pick her up and she says o by the way it's X amount for a two hour dinner date. Face plant.

[Foxychica]

I agree with the other person that say just ask her, who knows maybe she was horny or something.

I personally don't like to mix up business with my private life, but we never know life is like a box of chocolates.

[HammockedHank]

delete

[HammockedHank]

Originally Posted by SNL9933

OP - Caroline hit the bullseye. There are some providers that are truly amazing at IOP....it's what you paid for.

im guessing caroline aint messaging her johns in the wee neither. Dude she likes you. how much is the question.

[pyramider]

Alas, CD has never encountered the legendary 1.3" of dangling death. After her laughter subsided and she got her breath back from see my 1.3" of dangling death for the first time, she would want to make it her own. Plus, who better to take care of her taint than one who is a certified taintologist and a god of taintra.

[kerplunk13]

It's been interesting to know the thoughts from both sides of the fence and appreciate the feedbacks. Providers and clients alike both have yay or nay. But to clarify things, when I said I like her a lot, it doesn't mean I'm about to fall in love with her. I'm aware of the ramifications that I might have to deal with. I'm single and I love my independence as well and I don't like being held back. I'm merely entertaining the thought and being open minded about the possibility as I honestly don't see anything wrong about a "real" provider-client relationship. I couldn't careless about what or who she is doing, as I'm mongering myself. But if it ever comes to a point that it really becomes serious, then we need to find a common ground and decide if we want to be mutually exclusive as seeing others will definitely result to complications. That's thinking way far ahead and I'm not about to rush to that. Will just need to go with flow right now.

[Cpalmson]

First off, what type of "dating" are we talking about? Are we talking fuck buddy dating or serious let's walk down the aisle dating? Lust or love? I think in the early stages, it is going to be lust.

Second, I would be very cautious of a provider making a come on move. I'd be flattered but cautious. I'm not doubting the sincerity but I would question the factors leading up to the outreach. Did she have a bad day, and you were the only positive aspect to her day? Maybe she was a bit down and simply found something about you that she felt safe to share with you? Maybe she is a genuinely nice person who reaches out to all her clients to say thanks?

If you felt it was something more and you are interested in finding out her true intent, then as mentioned, you need to communicate with her. This communication needs to be clear and concise and not open to ambiguity. First, restate exactly what she said to you. Second, respond to her with truthfully telling her how you interpretted her comnunication. If you took it as an invitation to pursuit somerhing more, then ask her if that is the case. Third, let her reply. Maybe she is interested or maybe she will say you misunderstood her. She might not reply at all which is a reply in and of itself. Heck, she may feel embarrassed and stay silent. If this is the case, I wouldn't attempt to contact her again or at least for some amount of time.

Now if she does reply in a positive or ambiguous manner, you are going to find yourself in an awkward situation. This is one where clear communication is not your friend. If she seems interested in some tupe of continuing/on-going physical relationship, the question of donation is goung to come into play or at least be the elephant in the room. As a guy, you are thinking free sex. She may have slightly different thoughts on the matter. Talking about money might just ruin the whole atmosphere. This is a tough pickle. I've been there. Had a connection with a provider. She seemed to want something more than a client/provider relationship. However, any time I suggested moving beyond the status quo, she would interject a monetary expectation. It got to the point where I lost interest in her even though the sex was good. I think thr only way to test the waters is to set up a date, have the donation ready, but don't pay it. If she doesn't ask for it and agrees to keep playing, you have a fuck buddy. If at the end of the date, she asks where's the donation; give it to her and move on unless she is a provider you want to see on a regular basis even knowing she has expressed certain feelings for you but it still requires a donation to fuck her. If it were me, I'd move on.

Now, if this one of those "love connections", you are on your own. Totally up to you on how much real life info you share and when you share it. For me, it would take months of building up trust before she would know the real me.

[kerplunk13]

Good pointers Cpalmson. It's too early to tell right now as I have not tested the waters yet. Right now, I'm not going to make any assumptions base on this one instance and just keep it casual. So will gonna have to spend some more time with her. If the opportunity arises and I'm a lot more sure of the intentions, then I will make my move.

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by kerplunk13

So I've been seeing this lovely provider for a few times now. We always have a good time, at least from my side of the story. After our last appointment, we parted ways and she went on seeing other clients that day from what she implied. Unexpectedly, she message me very early in the morning saying that she enjoys spending time with me and she was just up late thinking of me. If she sent that within an hour or two of our last encounter, i would just shake it off and think she's just being nice and it's part of the "marketing strategy". But she did that after a while, after seeing other clients that day, and early A.M. so it got me thinking. I like her a lot but I'm pretty good in staying detach and just keep it strictly business. But i wouldn't mind asking her out as well until i'm sure of what her intentions. Would other providers do that for marketing purposes or would you say that is genuine?

Originally Posted by Kayla Flowers

50/50 i would say does she allow u to stay longer and chill? text or call u to update u on her life? are u on her personal facebook or Twitter? do u know her real name? have u just hung out as friends no donation? if you cant say yes to a few of those questions she is useing a marketing technique and you almost got played

just keep seeing as is for a year or two, then post in this thread how its going

[Pink Floyd]

Originally Posted by Kayla Flowers

50/50 i would say does she allow u to stay longer and chill? text or call u to update u on her life? are u on her personal facebook or Twitter? do u know her real name? have u just hung out as friends no donation? if you cant say yes to a few of those questions she is useing a marketing technique and you almost got played

I think you hit the nail on the head. If she wants to hang out just to hang out then she is interested. It is the same thing in civilian life. I have a UTR that just likes me and likes to hang. Emotions can get involved. I had a girl stand in my living room and say repeatedly that she loved me. Something I did must have triggered something in her. The next time I saw her we had a normal appointment. I would advise the OP to not count his chickens before they hatch. I have a girl (non-provider) living with me now, and I am still expecting it to blow up, even though we have been on and off for 3 years.

[Bijou Neko]

Originally Posted by SAangel27

It's a 50/50 shot she means it. I'd make the odds higher that she does mean it but then all the mongers would chime in about "Hookers can't be trusted". The odds are higher she means it if she is a girl that is not hurting for business.

Some of us genuinely like the people we see. The sex is good, the person makes you feel safe, appreciated, and like the sexiest woman in the world. I've sent the "You are awesome" texts before in those situations. (Yes, I knew that texts out of the blue were welcomed first) But just because a girl enjoys you does not mean she wants anything more than the knowledge that you will continue to she her and she knows she has something wonderful to look forward to.

Never assume she wants to officially "date". I know I get...uncomfortable when someone starts asking me to "date" them. It can be a sign that a client is about to go crazy and become a stalker. I have disengaged myself from men who ask to "date" in the past. So if I was you I would not broach the subject with her unless she's the one that brings it up.

I agree. I am VERY leery of gents who show any signs of boundary-crossing. I've heard way too many horror stories and witnessed one or two unfolding firsthand. Yes, I have gents who I adore and have an amazing time with, and honestly wouldn't mind spending OTC time with- BUT, in order to be comfortable I need to have those lines firmly drawn.

[Prime Time]

The OP must have an outstanding ass eating technique.