Quote:
Originally Posted by rice6869
I ve been lurking the forums for nearly a year...still a newbie!
Wanting to pop my newbie cherry,but find it difficult to actually do it. I am happily married ...you could say..but I am in need of some variety. How did you folks cope with " the first time guilt" ? Any advice?
Tomorrow is my b-day and was hoping to finally celebrate myself...but dont know if i should.....
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A lot of strong opinions being bandied about with no detail about the real state of his personal life!
As you've seen, married hobbying is a hot button topic and people fall on both sides of the fence about it. Any provider will tell you though that a large percentage of their clientele are married so you are by no means alone on this.
To address your point directly without getting bogged down in the "morality" of what you are contemplating I'll share my personal opinion on the subject:
A long time ago I was in a long term relationship and faced a similar dilemma. Rather than having to find a way not to feel guilty, for me it was more of a realization and a gradual acceptance that, especially for a man, monogamy is a societal and cultural construct not a biological imperative. In fact it goes very much against nature and our hormonal drive in my opinion. It became clear to me that the answer was either to deny myself one of life's great pleasures or find a way to partake in a manner that least impacts my otherwise vanilla life.
If I have a S.O. then a girlfriend on the side is far too messy and time consuming. A SugarBaby presents its own potential set of pitfalls. The hobby is perfect as it allows anonymity, sexual freedom, and no emotional entanglements. In almost 20 years of doing this I've had periods of more activity than others both with a SO and without, I've never felt a single pang of guilt nor remorse. For me, when I have an SO I'd feel guilty having an emotional relationship with another woman but never a sexual one. Its arguably one of the most pure and natural things in the world.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Even if I had an S.O. who was a tall blonde supermodel with a wide open menu and an insatiable sex drive I'd still be on here hunting for asian spinner twins who love greek or whatever else tickled my fantasy at that moment! Variety is the spice of life, so spice it up!
The key is to keep it hidden so as to avoid hurting the ones you love. If you do embark on a journey into this thing of ours, I would strongly encourage you to set up a very secure "chinese wall" to separate your fantasy life from your real one. Do not presume your wife is an idiot.
Good luck whatever you decide.
