Is BDSM dangerous?

[Island]

holdmybeerwatchthis - I have to disagree with that statement. Over the years, I have had several gents who I see on regular basis and although now if someone was to sit in on one of our "sessions" they would think it was brutal, humiliating, or fake - it's not.

I've never started BD/SM or Domme/sub relationship at full speed right off that bat. I have always taken my time to "learn" them, what they like and want, what I like and want, what their initial limits are and eventually how far they want them pushed, and most of all developing TRUST with each other. I have been in the lifestyle long before I entered the hobby though so to me it's not just about getting paid. I really enjoy my Domme sessions!

[Willen]

Yup, it is.

Which is why it is SO CRUCIAL that, as we enter this world in a serious way, we establish trust with the ones with whom we play.

Any number of times I've been in a position to seriuosly mess up the life of my partner, either physically or in terms of her 'real world' existence. The reverse has been true--with respect to my 'real world' life--a bunch of times as well. As much as I've enjoyed the physical dimensions of these scenes, and that's been immense, even more have I grooved on enjoying a partner who genuinely shares my reveling in forbidden realms.

Perverts of the world unite!!!

[Lion26]

Originally Posted by *GoddessDallas*

If you go to an experienced Pro Domme , there is never a safety issue in BDSM.

Sorry but I must respectfully disagree. Just because you are an experienced Pro Domme does not mean you will never have an incident.

Safety should be an important concern when playing and when you get into the mentality of it never being an issue, then you get complacent. When that happens, there is a potential for a Fuck Up.

No matter who you are, there is a Fuck Up out there with your name on it.

[Guest021716-4]

Things I think make BDSM dangerous: ego, narcissism, being unethical, ignorance (lack of education (top and/or bottom), lack of communication.

I look at practicing BDSM much like a healthcare provider, in the way of safety, I think.

[Krunkman]

Originally Posted by *GoddessDallas*

If you go to an experienced Pro Domme , there is never a safety issue in BDSM.

If a woman allows herself to be bound and hit, she is putting her safety at risk...always.

Okay, this is complete b/s. First of all, you are completely incorrect. If you engage in risky or potentially dangerous play, no matter how skilled or experienced your partner is, there is ALWAYS risk involved. Period. Even some of the best and most skilled players out there still have accidents. An experienced partner MIGHT lower the risk, but if they are having an off day, or something fails, or you encounter just plain bad luck, then shit can happen. Please stop spreading mis-information about pro dommes somehow being magically safe. There isn't even a license you get, you just declare yourself as such.

The second part, about a women being bound and being at risk...that's true for either gender. Once a person is rendered helpless through restraints they can be taken advantage of. And I hate to burst your bubble here, but women are just as capable of taking advantage, abusing or hurting a bound man as a man can do to a bound woman. It doesn't take very much to cause injury, real or otherwise.

BDSM play is no different in the potential for danger than any other form of entertainment. Driving your car involves risk, taking a flight, hell, even buying a cantalope can be risky if they didn't properly clean it and there is salmonella present. There are many things you can do to minimize your risks, to make failures less likely to cause permanent injury, but never, EVER, is there NO risk (aside from never doing something, usually that will reduce your risks to zero).

[Zhivago52]

BDSM is a mental state. I prefer to practice a narrower range known as D/s, which is just the Dominant/submissive part. Some of the most intense moments involved light or no contact, yet was very intense. Bondage, masochism, on the other hand, can be dangerous if not carefully planned and communicated. Think first "what could possibly go wrong?" and work from there.

[MrThom]

I think that the words...
BONDAGE, DOMINATION, SADO- MASOCHISM may hold some danger in them.

[Guest030824]

I am at an age where I want to try new things. I have no idea of my limits but if I could find some one I trust I would like to give it a try. Any one have recommendations on a DFW lady that wants to teach me.

[JennsLolli]

Originally Posted by Zhivago52

BDSM is a mental state. I prefer to practice a narrower range known as D/s, which is just the Dominant/submissive part. Some of the most intense moments involved light or no contact, yet was very intense. Bondage, masochism, on the other hand, can be dangerous if not carefully planned and communicated. Think first "what could possibly go wrong?" and work from there.

Hey! Totally my flavor. I've long identified as a sub, but my actual identification is far more nuanced. I like degradation play, but a specific sort -- I don't get off on embarrassment, but on feeling like a whore/slut/object, etc. Soooo...I won't bark at ya, but I adore going down on a man who's smoking or checking his email. The first time I had an SO cheat on me, I super got off on making him fuck me how he fucked her while calling me her name (hey...maybe that wasn't the healthiest response? heh). I know I am romantically interested in a man when I start to fantasize about how he fucks everyone but me. Bondage is fun, but I prefer being pinned against a wall than tied to a headboard. I also adore some pain stuff (spanking, smacking, etc) but I like denial of pleasure even more. And as far as spanking goes, my pain tolerance is mild, but the right tease (mostly the tease) and technique does RIDICULOUS things to me.

All that being said, it's kind of why the hobby works out very well for me sexually. A lot of times, there is a bit of a connection. If the guy is super handsome and there's some chemistry, or if he reminds me of an ex, or if he's just warm and soulful, I slip into GFE mode. If for whatever reason the chemistry isn't there, I slip into my sub-space of "I'm letting some stranger use me as a fuck-toy and taking his cash." Unintentional degradation play, sure, but that shit gets me off. It's also why I no longer advertise my sub tendencies, because usually a client's interpretation of the sub thing is very different from mine and that button is tickled even without his knowing.

I'm sure I'll sniff around the fetlife scene in Austin once I'm settled there. I'm curious to uncover more of my triggers and to explore with partners beyond clients. I'm starting to think I'll Domme-out come my 40th birthday. It feels like a natural progression.

[LondonSub]

Fascinating stuff, JL. Thanks for the input.

[sunspots]

just like a lot of things if you know what your doing its not dangerous