Dating a providers

[ZorahMatta]

Agreed to a T.

Originally Posted by Lena Duvall

Be sure to be ethical. Which means if you want to correspond with a companion you come across on a dating site in a civvy context, let her know that you recognized her from her professional escort adverts and profiles. There is a power dynamic present in that you as a client are mostly anonymous while getting to gain so much insight about different providers, including knowing what they look like. Leveling things out by being transparent is the right thing to do in my opinion.

[DasAmebas]

Not at all.

But maybe I'm not using monogamy in the proper context.

I just meant that inherent in sex work is sexual relationships with other people. While it is work, it's still sex.
You could still have emotional monogamy.
Personally, if I was seeing a sex worker, I wouldn't be having sex with another person unless she was included .
Maybe I'm just a weirdo.

[ZorahMatta]

Originally Posted by DasAmebas

Personally, if I was seeing a sex worker, I wouldn't be having sex with another person unless she was included .
Maybe I'm just a weirdo.

Personally, I'm very much not into one-size-fits-all models of relationship, so if you're a weirdo, I am a weirdo too I tend to think all arrangements between consenting adults can be valid - consenting being the operative word here.

Yours and DNinja69's response equating work sex with personal life sex prompted me to ask what other members who would consider dating a provider thought in that aspect, especially given that monogamy is, whether we partake in it or not, the default relationship model most people adhere to.

[king snake]

Hey Zorah I'll date you !!

[Scratchynuts]

It doesn't matter if it's work sex or sex for fun, men in general at some point would start thinking about what she's doing with the other men. Maybe not at first but when the new wore off it would be challenging not to think about it.

[DasAmebas]

I agree with that. Each relationship is going to be it's own unique flavor.

I don't think trying to fit each one under a preconceived label is the best way to go about it. It may work for some, but I doubt it works for most.

I think weirdos bringing their own brand of weirdness and embracing their partner's weird will have more fun than the cookie cutter brand of relationships.

[stockn2468]

The reason I bring this up is I was on a dating site and started talking to a lady I thought was attractive and found out she is a reputable provider. I let her know that I knew and was ok with it and she got irate and really was ugly to me. This is one of those sites that both people have to swipe and match to start communication. I just didn't understand it. She must have thought I was attractive to swipe right and start talking to me. I guess she wasn't comfortable about me knowing.

[supersix]

thats a lil messed up. it sounds like she has an issue with her bf knowing what she does JS

my thing is how do you ask a provider that you've been seeing... on a date in reel life?

[Audreyg]

Originally Posted by supersix

thats a lil messed up. it sounds like she has an issue with her bf knowing what she does JS

my thing is how do you ask a provider that you've been seeing... on a date in reel life?

IMHO, you don't. I do not date clients.

Also, personally I would not want to hide it from a partner, but I have no judgement of a provider choosing to do that. SO MANY MEN say they are totally ok with it, but ultimately cannot handle it.

I took down my online dating profile, but was open about my profession it while it was up. I got a zillion disrespectful and awful PMs, to the point where I didn't want to check my account anymore and eventually just took it down.

[supersix]

Originally Posted by Audreyg

IMHO, you don't. I do not date clients.

Also, personally I would not want to hide it from a partner, but I have no judgement of a provider choosing to do that. SO MANY MEN say they are totally ok with it, but ultimately cannot handle it.

I took down my online dating profile, but was open about my profession it while it was up. I got a zillion disrespectful and awful PMs, to the point where I didn't want to check my account anymore and eventually just took it down.

thats what I was afraid of, well at this point im like a sugar daddy we see each other every week, we always go over on time and do other things. I guess thats our relationship

I agree about men handling it , I think I can, but I think it would get to me eventually

sorry about the disrespectful and awful PMs nobody desires that

[ZorahMatta]

Originally Posted by king snake

Hey Zorah I'll date you !!

[ZorahMatta]

Originally Posted by supersix

my thing is how do you ask a provider that you've been seeing... on a date in reel life?

You check if she has a social time option or offers packages for outings. If positive, you book a date.

Oh, wait. By "real life" you meant asking a provider to offer you her companionship, the very thing she makes a living off of, for free?

Doesn't sound like that would go well.

[Longdongstrong]

I dated a dancer - she was "no benefits" at work - and it was still somewhat of an issue. For us both. She was as much worried that I didn't trust her as I was wondering if I was a fool for trusting her.

In the end, the relationship ended for its own reasons.

I don't know how I, personally, could be in love w/ a woman I know was having sex w/ others. I've had relationships where woman dated other women - and one or two where we were "open so long as the other was included". That worked well, for me.

I certainly see how others could date a "working girl" - after all, some are are wonderful, caring, etc - and they all are people - someone for everyone, right?

I guess it says more about me and what I'd expect out of a relationship. I've seen a few working girls "socially" i.e. not totally professional basis - we became friends. Sometimes w/ benefits, sometimes not, sometimes changed over into more of a sugar type deal. Each relationship defined by its own terms.

Thanks for the thoughtful question and responses. I bet I'm not done thinking on this for the day.

[supersix]

Originally Posted by ZorahMatta

You check if she has a social time option or offers packages for outings. If positive, you book a date.

Oh, wait. By "real life" you meant asking a provider to offer you her companionship, the very thing she makes a living off of, for free?

Doesn't sound like that would go well.

well that opens my eyes. your point is taken. thanks for the input

[1blackman1]

If your paying it's still prostitute and John. It's not a relationship. There is no in-between or hybrid.