Does a lack of sex contribute to your promiscuity? Would more sex (assuming quality was OK) make you monogamous?

[austinkboy]

So, I would say...it is all about more quantities of quality experiences! Duh...

OK, seriously then. I am Taurus. One astrology web site describes a Taurus as...

"One of the greatest flirts of the zodiac, you are often accused of being a tease. Once in love though, you are not easily led astray. When you commit yourself it is usually for keeps. Promiscuity can be a problem but it doesn't usually last for long as, being an earth sign, the home making instinct and the need to put down roots takes over." So, with Venus as my ruling planet, I describe myself as being promiscuous, but loyal.

It is true that my wife and I have sex very infrequently after a couple of decades of marriage. I would describe our relationship as loving each other very much, but not really "in love" or "in lust" as you (Whispers) described in another thread a while back.

As far my promiscuity, that is my basic nature. So, unless I am having great (quality) frequent (quantity) sex with my primary partner or SO, it is going to surface to a greater degree. It even carries over in the hobby world...with favorites. When I am into a girl, perhaps an ATF or a favorite, I am more satisfied when I am seeing her often rather than a lot of variety. Kind of a trickle down effect. So, if I am having great (quality) frequent (quantity) sex with my very favorite girl, then I obviously feel less need to look for new talent or a new addition to the dance card. The practical nature of a Taurus would say that I have limited amount of time and money, so if I am spending greater amount of time and money with the wife and/or the favorite, and having a good time, then I obviously have less time or money for others.

So quality is in fact very important. But because of this is the hobby world, I may go through a period of quantity to get down to the quality. Kind of like the provider that sees some number of guys, then cuts it down to the few keepers before going UTR. I tend to like longer sessions, but not going on for hours. This is because I enjoy the company... a glass of wine, some conversation... this to me is all foreplay. So, for me the standard appointment time alotment is at least one hour, but not more than two. Most of the girls that I end up keeping as regulars will generally give me boyfriend rates, or perhaps go a lot longer than the hour for the hour appointment to make that possible. I also enjoy dinner plus play date, and lunch and play date. That is very much a GFE experience when topped off with my favorite dessert!

Now that I ramble on...I have managed confuse myself.
Let's see. Yes the lack of sufficient sex (quantity) with SO or ATF does lead to more pronounced manifestation of promiscuity (frequent sex with different partners), but is not the cause of promiscuity, which is more inherent personality. Of course quality of the experience makes a difference to me. Quality can be improved by improving the personal and emotional compatibility...the "getting to know you" or "connection" that I may experience with certain girls that I decide are my favorites.

[undercover1]

I've been married nearly 30 years now. We both truly love each other but her sexual drive has been almost non-existent since we married. The frequency of sex is probably less than twice monthly with little to no foreplay. BJs (covered or uncovered) would only be a dream if not for this world! The lack of sex and foreplay is not due to lack of desire for my wife, but lack thereof on her part. In all other respects (besides sex) she is my perfect life's partner and friend. Only wish.........sigh.

I hobby primarily for the "play" prior to the "act." The "act" is a necessity of course, but the "play" is by far the most important reason for my participation in the hobbby. Technically, I'm not a monogamists, but besides my wife, I tend to find one provider which fulfills my desires and stick with her as long as she will permit. It's very hard to find a provider to fill these needs simply because it takes time to "know" the person to the point where we become friends to the point that the "play" and "act" become real vs fantasy. Unfortunately, too few providers are interested in these types of relationships. Fortunately, I've got one now..she's my ATF.

So... the "quality" obviously is more important to me than the "quantity". I see my ATF about twice monthly and all my "needs" are met.

[Rosiedaie]

Well, I really love sex and variety of sex and with variety of different men, one at a time or even a couple of men at once, maybe more.

I can hardly go a few days without any sex, I am ready to go crazy without it, so everyday is a day of pleasure for me and any man I can entice to be with me.

I just got to get me some hard cock and hot cum and my days and nights are wonderful once again. I hate to be blunt about it all, but I am just Cock and Cum Crazy.


xoxoxoxo,

Rosiedaie
512-557-4045

http://www.geishaaffair.com/profile/...3598/Rosiedaie

www.rosiedaie.escort-site.com

www.preferred411.com/austin/rosiedaie

[nuglet]

Well stated m'lady!!! You are a siren for sure..

[squiretuck]

No it doesn't.

[BFE]

Whispers? Are you calling me promiscuous?
I think of myself as a serially monogamous kind of guy. Except when with two ladies at once, but well, even in that case, it's still one-at-a-time, right?

[Ms Francisca]

I read a lot about men & their behavior. It has helped me in my hobby business.

I learned that a man will initially be sexually attracted to a woman because of her physical appearance.

A man will want to see a woman again because she was interested in what he said, laughed at his jokes, made him feel desirable, etc...

A man will desire a woman because of the way he feels when in her presence.

[austinkboy]

Originally Posted by Ms Francisca

I learned that a man will initially be sexually attracted to a woman because of her physical appearance.
A man will want to see a woman again because she was interested in what he said, laughed at his jokes, made him feel desirable, etc...
A man will desire a woman because of the way he feels when in her presence.

This is Great! Sums it up pretty succinctly. Yes, we are quite predictable and not all that hard to please. But food has to fit in there somewhere...no? Otherwise, how do I explain my expanding waistline?

[Ms Francisca]

Originally Posted by austinkboy

This is Great! Sums it up pretty succinctly. Yes, we are quite predictable and not all that hard to please. But food has to fit in there somewhere...no? Otherwise, how do I explain my expanding waistline?

Why do you think I offer a Dinner Date

[GRIN OF SIN]

::::WARNING::::
This turned out longer than I expected, so skip to the bottom for summary, if you no likey the reading.

I was married for quite some time, and before we got married, we had frequent sex -- fairly normal stage in a relationship.

We did eventually get married, and as expected, the sex wasn't as frequent; or as hot, but it was still enough to release my sexual tension while maintaining my sense of masculinity.

It gradually became less-and-less frequent, until (roughly two years into it) the sex just stopped all-together.

Now, I loved my wife (and still do to a degree, despite the separation) so I hung in there as long as I could. I think I went about 3-4 years without sex. We got along great, with no other major issues besides the lack of sex -- thus why I hung in there as long as I did; or at least I like to think so.

We tried therapy, this and that; and although there's a theory as to the cause (short story: daddy abandonment issues) we could never get past it. Oh the mindfuck of knowing your wife won't have sex with you because you're the first man in her life to stick around. So twisted.

I then started the hobby. I didn't want to leave my wife, but I simply couldn't take the lack of sex. I felt fairly guilty about it at first, but the improvement to my mental and emotional state, helped me cope with it; along with the fact that I wasn't seeking a replacement wife... just sex.

Having said that: To me, even though the sex may not be a 10; as long as I had that release, I found it easy to stay happy with one woman. Prior to my wife, I had never "strayed", because there was always access to sex.

Sure, I would find other woman attractive and think about other women, but as long as I had a woman of my own -- and the sex wasn't depressing -- I was more than happy to just look without touching.

However, I had great sexual experiences in the past, so outside of anal, or a three-way, I didn't have an uber-sense of: I never tried that before. Nor have I been with a woman so horrible in bed, that I never wanted to sleep with her again... based on her sexual performance, that is. Besides, allot of women (not all) are willing to try new things or take advice -- as long as you reciprocate -- so even if they start off "bad", they can be learn'd.

As for time spent with a woman: I prefer an hour because I enjoy the sex, over the pop. Climaxing is great, but the act of getting there is what I enjoy most. I can make myself pop... I can't become a sexy woman, give myself oral, so on and so forth. I also like to take advantage of my 2-pop ability while I still can. As I'm often reminded, it may not last much longer... pun intended.

::::SUMMARY::::

So, my ideal situation -- single or in a relationship -- would be frequent quickies (pressure release), and occasional extended sessions in-between (enjoying the moment).

If it's been a while, then I definitely prefer the extended session.

If I'm in a relationship, and sex is frequent enough -- I'm not saying it has to be every day, but frequently enough to where I don't feel like punching happy people -- then I don't feel an uncontrollable urge to stray.