Maintaining contact with your ATF during forced dry spells

[Luke Skywalker]

Originally Posted by mark77070

SweetMelody's comment pretty much sums up my experience. The providers are in this for the business, not the GFE e-mails. I have PM'd various providers to thank them after a great session and not even received an acknowledgement. And after setting the appointment for a future date, the PM flirting is abruptly curtailed. I don't hold that against them. In fact, I would say that my ATF is below average on the PM responses. And right now I'm laying low for a reason not financial: my SO has suddenly gotten interested in me again! And I too worry that my favorite providers will forget me. So, I'm glad for this thread to bring the topic out in the open.

But, guys, remember: these ladies are professionals. We're self-medicating with professional sex workers, not engaging real girlfriends. That's both the strength of this hobby as well as its greatest weakness. Sure you could get a nonprofessional girlfriend online or at a bar, but it gets messy. One of you will fall in love and it gets real, real messy. Be thankful for the wonderful providers, but don't try to squeeze something more out of the relationship. It isn't there.

You summarized pretty well. Agree 100%.

[Sir Lancehernot]

Thanks for the feedback, especially from the ladies. I don't get an overwhelming sense that the contact I outlined -- occasional and brief -- would be unwelcome by most, and there's no real problem with following up on the "you can e-mail me anytime" comment. Although I've heard the "call me anytime, even to just say hi" line a time or two, only to realize that that phrase losing something in translation from Providerese to English, I think e-mail and PMs are less intrusive and can be more easily ignored if they become a bother. The typical exchanges are from me to her, her to me, and me back to her. Sometimes there's no third leg. If she doesn't respond, I neither worry nor prompt her again -- at least until a month or so goes by and I feel like I ought to remind her that I'm still alive and hoping to see her.

Yes, it's a sales business, and the sales-client relationship in the hobby presents some unique challenges. But the best salespeople know that a little personal attention goes a long way in establishing value, rapport, reputation, and repeat business, and they're willing to put up with their clients' little quirks or peccadilloes if they value the business relationship.

[omakase]

OP - that's what the ECCIE forums are for ... Pre/Post-coital banter.

[Abraham]

After telling an ATF it could be a while before I see her, again, I would not waste any more of her time. They are professionals not girlfriends.

[deuceswilld83]

I think its ok. If its an ATF or someone youve seen more times than you can count then why not. I personally have moved out of the state and plan to visit with my favorites when I am able to do. I email or pm my atf just to say hello and she doesnt seem to mind.

[MaxiMilyen]

When I first started, I might have said, just let it go. However, I have formed friendships with several gents and lost regulars for long time periods of time due to different circumstances. I wonder about them, worry about them, and want them to know they are thought of. So, yes....please let me know you're ok. I'm sure every lady feels differently though, so probably best to just ask if you don't already know her well enough to know either way.

[Guest042715]

I'd bombard her with emails and then when she gets pissed I send her more.

[lisa.lisa0302]

I didn't get an email from you....................:nopity :



Just joking.

Originally Posted by sinkerswim

I'd bombard her with emails and then when she gets pissed I send her more.

[kamau_77]

I'd notice she is back right away and will say hello. Hello Lisa

Originally Posted by lisa.lisa0302

I didn't get an email from you....................:nopity :



Just joking.

[SweetMelody]

Originally Posted by mark77070

SweetMelody's comment pretty much sums up my experience. The providers are in this for the business, not the GFE e-mails. I have PM'd various providers to thank them after a great session and not even received an acknowledgement. And after setting the appointment for a future date, the PM flirting is abruptly curtailed. I don't hold that against them. In fact, I would say that my ATF is below average on the PM responses. And right now I'm laying low for a reason not financial: my SO has suddenly gotten interested in me again! And I too worry that my favorite providers will forget me. So, I'm glad for this thread to bring the topic out in the open.

But, guys, remember: these ladies are professionals. We're self-medicating with professional sex workers, not engaging real girlfriends. That's both the strength of this hobby as well as its greatest weakness. Sure you could get a nonprofessional girlfriend online or at a bar, but it gets messy. One of you will fall in love and it gets real, real messy. Be thankful for the wonderful providers, but don't try to squeeze something more out of the relationship. It isn't there.

Just to set your mind at ease. You shouldn't worry about your ATF forgetting you. If you thought enough of her to consider her your ATF, chances are most likely that she enjoyed her time with you as well, and will be happy to welcome you back whenever you can make it back. I'm sure we all prefer a familiar and friendly face over that anxious feeling I still feel when expecting someone I've never seen before. I recently had a visit from a client that I hadn't seen in well over a year. As I was putting him through the screening process his info sounded familiar but I wasn't sure and he didn't mention that it was a return visit. But when I opened the door, it was a thrilling surprise.

[tompelt]

Hey Melody U are one of my favorites

[Guest042715]

Originally Posted by lisa.lisa0302

I didn't get an email from you....................:nopity :



Just joking.

What the...... Welcome back hun. Speaking of Dallas Legends......... ;-)

[Kendall4U]

Originally Posted by sinkerswim

I'd bombard her with emails and then when she gets pissed I send her more.

I have cleared out my inbox......you may now continue with the bombarding!

[Guest042715]

Originally Posted by Kendall4U

I have cleared out my inbox......you may now continue with the bombarding!

Time to fill the box again! Its tough being me ;-)