Quote:
Originally Posted by Ansley
Why put all the judgement on the men? Shouldn't a woman that enters into a relationship with a married man be responsible of keeping own emotions in tack? After all she chose to participate in an adulterous relationship.
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yes that is true too, but HE is the adulterer not the one he dates, but i agree you are right. But given the fact HE is married he should be more responsible.
For example i am polyamorous, and once (and never again) dated a married man with the agreement we keep our relationships separate: He did not do that and dragged me into his marital bullshit. So? His marriage never was my business, he knew what he was doing, i did n`t, because he was my first married man plus i am acting my ethical boundaries , he does not. I do not condone this general attitude that married men seem to have that "once they are married their marriage is above everything else and its just logical that everyone has to accept that they just can`t behave normally". IF that is the case then they should not have lovers in the first place. I don`t condone that attitude of married men that everyone (including their wives) has to be submissive and second class to their marriage. And THIS is what i critzice and what happens.
I would never demand that only my relationship style demands the boundaries - and the sole boundaries - between 2 people. That is what escorts are there for. And that is what some married men think they deserve for free. Which is not true. If only one defines the rules then its not consensual and therefor its paid.
In my case married guy told his wife about me because he fancied the idea of polyamory (well, his wife did not) and what did i have from all this shit? Except being burned and degraded? Nothing. So it was HIS responsibility to keep me as a paid companion, since I could not see what kind of disrespect he really had. I am not monogamous, so i have no clue.
If some monogamous woman dates a married man and gets degraded, HER business. She deserves it. I don`t. I don`t make my polyamory anyones business , i never disrespected a marriage , nor did i ever want someone to divorce and i got treated as if i was the worst individual aver for actions HE did. So yes, i consider an adulterer more responsible, because they have the habit of hiding behind other peoples back and stabbing this back then when its convenient.
I simply don?`t understand why someone enters into a unpaid relationship with an escort and knows he can?t offer more just for the sake of his low self esteem. My ex did that again and again no matter what happened to me and his wife. And yes, i see him more responsible, becuase he is WAY older than i was at that time and his lovers are babies. Most of them. You can?t expect 20 somethings to be responsible for dating 50 year old married guys, really??
Plus after all this shit he did to me and his wife, he just did it all over again.
I didn`t. EVer ! I would never ever ever ever ever date a married man again. So yes, he is more responsible and every adulterer is,b ecause they KNOW the nature of their marriages. I don`t. And i don`t have to. I am not married therefore marriages are not my problem.
What i mean is people who are hypocrites and demand relationships whose boundaries they can?t handle.
I don`t do that and never did that, neither would i lie or cheat. ;-).
But i agree with you when it comes to Monogamous women being secret lovers of monogamous cheaters. They usually run around and sob about their exploits being married, and i have no pity whatsoever for them. At all.
