WHY ARE PROVIDERS REQUIRING REFERENCES IF THEY ARE NOT REFERENCE FRIENDLY?!!

[Charlee]

Originally Posted by Ultimate Jessica

I don’t understand what has happened?? I have been a provider for many years and have always been reference friendly as long as I have seen them within a year. I have never had a reason not to help out the gentleman who want to see another provider. This is also for the safety of the providers as well!! When I see a providers profile or ad that states they require at least two references but they are not reference friendly it just doesn’t make sense to me??? I prefer now that they send any reference request via a pm and not a text for #’s can change for some, but to not be reference friendly for others just doesn’t make since to me. The providers that check references take a lot of time out of their day to make sure they are meeting someone that is safe same goes for the hobbyist who collect the information to send to us. You could at least respond to us and tell us you are not reference friendly instead of completely ignoring our request. If you are NOT reference friendly, please let the clients know before they see you as well.
Just common courtesy in my opinion.
ARE WE NOT LOOKING OUT FOR OTHERS ANYMORE??
Stay Safe Always,
Jessica UTR

It's not about the money or not wanting to share clients, many ladies have realized that solely depending on references has become dangerous, more dangerous because ladies feel like they don't have to do anymore screening outside of that. Not to mention, a client may be perfectly ok with me and completely different to the next. The last girl murdered just two weeks ago screened and had references. Also LE is starting to use references... yes they actually have legit references as used in the Texas sting just last week, while yes some girls are selfish it's not always about the money. I'm not reference friendly because I no longer want to feel responsible for a persons behavior or someone else relying on me for their safety, however I do white list and/or blacklist all clients and update each time they see me. which is my form of referencing.

[yourdesire]

I am reference friendly, the problem is I forget to check my messages on these sites sometimes because there's not enough activity on them to keep me coming back daily. But if you have my phone number I will certainly reference anytime. I don't personally ask for references because if I don't know you how do I know I can trust you as a reference. Those who have seen me know that I am reference friendly anytime so ladies and gentlemen feel free to reach out. And I agree, if you are asking for references, yóu should certainly be willing to give them. In my opinion it is quite rude and selfish of those who don't give yet want others to look out for them. This is a crazy messed up world we live in now so let's all try to be more kind to each other and look out for one another. It sure makes life a lot easier and funner and of course safer

[Wile E Coyote]

Originally Posted by Charlee

It's not about the money or not wanting to share clients, many ladies have realized that solely depending on references has become dangerous, more dangerous because ladies feel like they don't have to do anymore screening outside of that. Not to mention, a client may be perfectly ok with me and completely different to the next. The last girl murdered just two weeks ago screened and had references. Also LE is starting to use references... yes they actually have legit references as used in the Texas sting just last week, while yes some girls are selfish it's not always about the money. I'm not reference friendly because I no longer want to feel responsible for a persons behavior or someone else relying on me for their safety, however I do white list and/or blacklist all clients and update each time they see me. which is my form of referencing.

That is why if a provider depends on references from other providers as their only screening they do, then there is a problem which history has shown, will rear its ugly head sooner rather than later.

It is foolish to think that if you give a reference for a hobbyist who was good with you (showed up when he made the appt, gave the right donation, did not overstay his time, ect.) that you are responsible for his actions he does with other providers you gave him a good reference to. We are all adults here (at least most of us are anyway) and know the risks associated even if we think all the boxes have been check that someone is safe to see, and that goes both ways.

It is also foolish for providers to count on and take to heart as references, good or bad, from providers and especially other hobbyists, who have not seen the hobbyist in question BCD.

Doing a white list is only good if you let the hobbyist know you are putting him on it. But again, he may be on YOUR whitelist, but that does not mean too much in the overall scheme of things as far as safety goes with another provider, so using your rationale, him being put on a white list by you and for example, he shorts a provider on her donation, then do you take responsibility for that too?

[MarineMarauder]

It’s definitely frustrating when providers ask for references but aren’t willing to give them in return. It’s like a one-sided relationship that leaves clients feeling uneasy. Maybe it's worth suggesting a more balanced approach where mutual trust can be built? Would love to hear others' thoughts on how they navigate this issue!

[MarineMarauder]

That’s a great question! It seems like a paradox, doesn’t it? Perhaps providers require references as a means to ensure safety and trust but aren't comfortable being openly cited to maintain their privacy and avoid potential backlash. It’s a delicate balance they’re trying to strike.

[Mplay]

I had one person I seen through a booker. The booker said they contacted my reference and we were all good. I have a good relationship with the lady I used as reference.She told me she was never contacted. It’s all a bunch of bullshit sometimes.

[MarineMarauder]

Absolutely agree! It’s all about mutual respect and safety. If a provider requires references, they should be upfront about whether they’ll reciprocate. Clear communication is key for everyone's peace of mind. Thanks for raising this important issue! Stay safe out there!

[kalisensualReiki]

100% correct! It is hard when business is slow, and one of your favorites is wishing to seek something else or new… The best way to think about it is to approach the situation by remaining neutral and not add sad emotions. What goes around normally always comes back around ladies! Regulars love their regular ladies and will return back to the lady they feel most comfortable with.
Ladies no need to fret! Be kind and relaxed with your guys! 😘😘