Dealing With Emotions In The Hobby

[Aphrodite]

Oh this is one of my favorite topics Girly ^ 5's to Calista -because she DOES get it.
I fall in 'like' at least once a month. Sometimes more - sometimes less. Sometimes it is from the moment our eyes meet, or after the first kiss or fifteen minutes into the conversation when we realize that the chemistry is off the charts...
Often times, there is a moment when we both when we acknowledge it out loud or a look is exchanged that speaks volumes - then, I see a bittersweet mixture of emotion pass through the man's eyes...desire, relief, fear, sadness, joy, lust, regret...it lasts for but a second but speaks more than words can say.

In that moment - I want to remind him that I am there to be what he needs me to be. That if we had met at a party, we would have probably gravitated to the same corner and hit it off 'as friends' and sweetly flirted...and he would have left w/ his wife and we would have both felt a sexy afterglow from the positive attention we showered on one another.

After our time is over, I may feel wistful and breath a few sighs and 'what-ifs' then I remind myself that I don't want to do ANY man's laundry, meet any man's mother or clear my schedule for anyone right now...till, I know, no, till I KNOW...that he is spectacular and can do his own laundry...but, for now...I am really ok with falling in love or in like w/ amazing, tender hearted men who allow me to be a fully emotional/feminine woman

A

[Vivienne Rey]

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

So ladies, how do you handle the barrage of emotions that often flood you in the hobby?

Some ladies seem to turn into automatons during the session as a way to deal with their emotions, but that is such a turn-off.

The problem is that it becomes like having sex with a cold mannequin and who would want to pay for that, much less return?

On the other hand, providers certainly have to deal with their emotions somehow, so how do you do it that still leaves the man satisfied?

. . . No return customers is generally a slow death to any business.

I don't deal. I give in to them, but they don't dominate common sense so it doesn't become a problem. I believe in being authentic. If I have an amazing connection with someone, why the heck would I try and turn it off?

[livn2do]

Originally Posted by Calista_Syn

Embrace them like logical, rational, sexual adult humans? I like feeling all gooey and bubbly after a session.. Unless he's made a mess all over me and I have to go clean off, I'll usually lay around and babble on a little. Pillow talk is awesome.

Such a huge gap exists with this subject between my perspective and what seems to be the "norm" ideals... Why is fondness, and even love frowned upon so sternly? Hasn't emotion always been a driving force in seeking a mistress? I enjoy my sessions best of all when I've grown to love the hell out of the man I'm seeing. Men confide in me things that are only safe to talk about with a disposable acquaintance, and it's only natural to love a good person... This is the whole beauty of this lifestyle for me, the fact that I can be so brutally, honestly me, and as dirty as I want to be for a few hours at a time, and if the person doesn't like me, I never have to see them again. (I still get off, and get paid mind you!) This entire hobby offers the chance to be vulnerable and open with your feelings and sexuality without commitment. Why wouldn't you want to fuck, ravage, and love a woman as hard as you can, and walk away, right back to your carefully crafted suburban life?

Seems the fear for men is their own insecurity with their ability to walk away when it's time to go. Same for ladies actually, it's like if they actually give a shit, they'll "become" their persona.. As if having a man inside you isn't intimate enough, they withhold kissing? Seems they are trying to maintain too large a disconnect between the "real" them, and the girl being a slut.

It's all just a mind melding brain fuck, the whole business of renting your body, but not your brain or heart.. Impossible to love yourself and deny your own human nature. A provider must accept what she's doing, allow herself to enjoy it, and embrace the hormones. Hell, most of us jump from man to man in our normal lives because we're addicted to the feeling of falling in love, and don't really love the guy... and once it fades, we're bored and looking again. Serial Monogamist... Only this way I get paid, get my love drugs, and don't deal with your sweaty sneakers or farting later! Perfect.

So says the sex sensei.

Amen!

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

So ladies, how do you handle the barrage of emotions that often flood you in the hobby?

Some ladies seem to turn into automatons during the session as a way to deal with their emotions, but that is such a turn-off.

The problem is that it becomes like having sex with a cold mannequin and who would want to pay for that, much less return?

On the other hand, providers certainly have to deal with their emotions somehow, so how do you do it that still leaves the man satisfied?

. . . No return customers is generally a slow death to any business.

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

Wow!

You have unloaded a veritable mountain of information on us!

I think that love is frown upon in the hobby because it is generally later found to be counterfeit, but many people have still been fooled and badly hurt.

. . . Providers are in the business to provide sexual please. There are not there to provide love. Surely, everybody knows that by now, don't they?

Why ask if you are going to act like a dick about it... what are you asking really? Obviously the emotion that you are referring to by your own admission is not love. So what is it? How do we handle the feelings of disgust, guilt, or whatever negative emotion a provider may or may not have throughout the day about her chosen profession and her clients? If that is what you are asking, different women deal in different ways, some don't have those issues to deal with.

My most negative emotion about the hobby has been annoyance, and how do I shut that off and still satisfy a client even though he may annoy me or I may be annoyed at something else? I remember that he is returning a favor and paying me, and I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do. And then I stfu and suck some cock.

Simple really.

[Fast Gunn]

You mean you can easily provide all sorts of intimate sexual pleasures, but draw the line at doing the laundry?

I have a maid who takes care of cleaning my place and does the laundry, but there are no sexual pleasures on her menu.

I suppose it's just about learning to develop a quality support system that makes one's life easier and more pleasurable. My intent is to find a provider who is as reliable and conscientious in delivering pleasure as my maid is in keeping my place clean and inviting.

. . . Why is a good provider so hard to find and where is she hiding?

Originally Posted by Aphrodite

Oh this is one of my favorite topics Girly ^ 5's to Calista -because she DOES get it.
I fall in 'like' at least once a month. Sometimes more - sometimes less. Sometimes it is from the moment our eyes meet, or after the first kiss or fifteen minutes into the conversation when we realize that the chemistry is off the charts...
Often times, there is a moment when we both when we acknowledge it out loud or a look is exchanged that speaks volumes - then, I see a bittersweet mixture of emotion pass through the man's eyes...desire, relief, fear, sadness, joy, lust, regret...it lasts for but a second but speaks more than words can say.

In that moment - I want to remind him that I am there to be what he needs me to be. That if we had met at a party, we would have probably gravitated to the same corner and hit it off 'as friends' and sweetly flirted...and he would have left w/ his wife and we would have both felt a sexy afterglow from the positive attention we showered on one another.

After our time is over, I may feel wistful and breath a few sighs and 'what-ifs' then I remind myself that I don't want to do ANY man's laundry, meet any man's mother or clear my schedule for anyone right now...till, I know, no, till I KNOW...that he is spectacular and can do his own laundry...but, for now...I am really ok with falling in love or in like w/ amazing, tender hearted men who allow me to be a fully emotional/feminine woman

A

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

. . . Why is a good provider so hard to find and where is she hiding?

so you are taking the slant that I originally thought.. in your eyes this is how most providers give service. thancks for a clarification.

[Fast Gunn]

Hey, are you just trying to provoke me or do you seek the truth?

. . . The unfortunate fact is that a good provider is hard, very hard, to find. I think most men in the hobby would agree with that observation. Most providers are looking primarily to make money and satisfying the customer is a mere distant second consideration if it is even considered at all. There are of course, some very fine providers out there who understand that good service comes first and the money will follow, but they are in the minority.

Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne

so you are taking the slant that I originally thought.. in your eyes this is how most providers give service. thancks for a clarification.

[Guest022718]

Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne

My most negative emotion about the hobby has been annoyance, and how do I shut that off and still satisfy a client even though he may annoy me or I may be annoyed at something else? I remember that he is returning a favor and paying me, and I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do. And then I stfu and suck some cock.

Simple really.

Ok....this is the attitude I fear most in the ladies I see. I realize I'm neither Brad Pitt or John Holmes. I also realize that I'm only seeing the good side of the lady I'm visiting.

But I have to admit....I've come to really like a few of the ladies I've visited. I neither expect or want them to like me back, but I don't want my time with them to be a struggle, either. I would rather not spend time with them at all. If there is something that I can control that is bothering you........please let me know.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

it's a double edged sword. a lot of women laugh at their boyfriends dumb jokes, rub their hairy back, deal with their stincky feet and a plethora of other things that she either can't or doesn't want to deal with. You'll only be there for an hour, surely I can let you be yourself.. if you wanted to hear nagging, you'd be at home with your SO.

[KatieKatie]

Stop having them. When the times comes around where someone genuinely likes you back you will have spread your emotions too thin.

This reminds me of this book
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_Fish

and that reminds me of socialism and that makes me sad.

If you are the type to look at wedding dresses even when you don't have a boyfriend stop watching soap operas, chick flicks, reading romance novels and listening to love songs. You aren't being a "hopeless romantic" you are being a loony tune.

Fall in like with yourself.

This may be a threAD for the lonely types. I recommend everyone get a cat. Champagne Brown has kittens!!!!

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

. . . The unfortunate fact is that a good provider is hard, very hard, to find. I think most men in the hobby would agree with that observation. Most providers are looking primarily to make money and satisfying the customer is a mere distant second consideration if it is even considered at all. There are of course, some very fine providers out there who understand that good service comes first and the money will follow, but they are in the minority.

Wow. I suspect you will get defensive about this post, but I think that if you really believe what you wrote then you need to look directly in the mirror for most the blame.

Of course the ladies are in this business to make money--isn't that the major reason most of us work? But finding one who is also sincerely focused on quality customer service seems primarily dependent upon:
--Know what you really care about. If a guy can only be satisfied if she is a 46HHH Eskimo then he should quit seeing super petite ladies from Angola.
--Do your homework. It galls me when I see so many reviews that say, "She was OK, but I have to complain that she was CBJ", when the last 50 reviews of her say "CBJ".
--Take some time to exchange a few PMs or e-mails--find out if you two are likely to have any chemistry or not.
--Treat her with respect and treat her like a lady. Heaven forbid complement her, flirt a little, and bring her a small, creative gift. Amazing how that increases the fun had by all.

All four of those things are largely under the guys control, and most the time I see a variation of the "a good provider is hard to find" gripe it boils down to the guy screwing up one (or more) of those rules.

I've been doing this for going on 35 years and I can count the number of truly BAD experiences on one hand with three fingers left over. One every 17 1/2 years. Of the rest, probably half have been "OK" to "Nice" and the other half have been "Excellent" to "OMG!!!!!".

Maybe you are monopolizing the poor performing ones, I don't know.

[Skipp]

Originally Posted by Old-T

Of course the ladies are in this business to make money--isn't that the major reason most of us work? But finding one who is also sincerely focused on quality customer service seems primarily dependent upon:
--Know what you really care about. If a guy can only be satisfied if she is a 46HHH Eskimo then he should quit seeing super petite ladies from Angola.
--Do your homework. It galls me when I see so many reviews that say, "She was OK, but I have to complain that she was CBJ", when the last 50 reviews of her say "CBJ".
--Take some time to exchange a few PMs or e-mails--find out if you two are likely to have any chemistry or not.
--Treat her with respect and treat her like a lady. Heaven forbid complement her, flirt a little, and bring her a small, creative gift. Amazing how that increases the fun had by all.

All four of those things are largely under the guys control, and most the time I see a variation of the "a good provider is hard to find" gripe it boils down to the guy screwing up one (or more) of those rules.

I've been doing this for going on 35 years and I can count the number of truly BAD experiences on one hand with three fingers left over. One every 17 1/2 years. Of the rest, probably half have been "OK" to "Nice" and the other half have been "Excellent" to "OMG!!!!!".

Maybe you are monopolizing the poor performing ones, I don't know.

I agree with Old T. For me, 100% of the goal is to find someone physically highly appealing to me and who looks like someone who, had I met in real life when I had been young and single, would probably be someone so in the middle of my chemical map that I would likely have fallen in love on the first date. Then if, on top of that, she seems from her posts or online profile comments and background to be someone who seems to have the kind of intelligence and personality that fits me, there is a really good chance that a session would be really nice--maybe even one I would always remember as outstanding. Of course, one also wants to be satisfied with the cost, the ease or hassle of booking, and the safety, discreteness, and cleanliness of the meeting place.

Now everything that Old T was talking about and what I just mentioned - - - all of this you should be able to get a good idea of the likelihood of a great fit just from online looking and reading, plus the communications and information obtained in the booking process.

Of course, neither the man nor the woman know how the chemistry or emotions (if any) are going to be except when actually meeting each other. But at least the homework stacks the odds more in the man's favor of having a "successful" session.

Everyone is different. Some guys like to screw anything with a pussy--or at least anything that looks clean and healthy enough and doesn't smell bad. I'm at the other extreme. Either in real life or in the hobby, I could look at (or at pictures of) hundreds of women, and maybe only find one or two I would be interested in pursuing. Most men are well in between these two extremes. For me, the session that would make me happy would be one where seemingly real emotional attraction is exchanged between us, and where I am visually and erotically turned on by what and who I am experiencing. Even if only one in dozens of sessions achieve this result, or if none do, I couldn't feel bad if I did my homework and was willing to spend the time and money to see what would happen.

Even when there are no good sessions, I would be paying and spending time for the entertainment and thrill of the hunt. But I am one of the (probable minority) of people who enjoy a sport irrespective of whether I win or lose, as long as I had fun playing it, thought I did pretty well for my abilities, and especially if the other participant(s) enjoyed themselves. It's that same attitude I would employ in the hobby.

NOW, THE ORIGINAL QUESTION WAS ABOUT HOW THE LADIES HANDLE THEIR EMOTIONS, and of course I can't answer for them. As one of their clients, I would just hope that they did have good emotions, and that they either shared them with me or that I could sense them. And if she really were a "cold fish", then I wouldn't enjoy it no matter how good looking or mechanically expert she might be.

[Mokoa]

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

. . . Why is a good provider so hard to find and where is she hiding?

Considering your musings...

http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...63&postcount =4
http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...43&postcount =2
http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...62&postcount =5
http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...27&postcount =8
http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...1&postcount= 14
http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...8&postcount= 11

It is no mystery, really. You cannot find them because they are probably avoiding you.

[Fast Gunn]

Well, he butts in again without realizing that nobody cares what the retarded monkey has to say.

. . . But he chatters on anyway.

[tbone2u]

fg....you need to only look into a mirror. You are always starting threads asking questions but you never like the answers you get. According to you...you have all the answers so why do you continue to ask them? All anyone has to do to understand you is to look at the threads Makoa posted. I hope that all the ladies take the time to read them. The sad thing is they can't read some of your best threads because of where they are. If they could.....none of them would ever see you.