my comments below stem from my firm belief in
personal responsibility. each of us makes our own choices, each of us should accept responsibility for our choices and the consequences on ourselves and others. we are NOT responsible for the choices others make nor the consequences of their actions.
my cards are on the table.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brooke_banks69
Ok, last weekend I had a guy call and schedule an appointment for 1:30 on Saturday afternoon. I said it was fine and to call me to confirm once it was closer to the appt time. Ok, he sends a txt, and unfortunately I had an emergency to take care of (for all of you who dont know, my left hand is in a cast due to an accident i had) and that could we reschedule for 4:30 instead.
he said that was fine. Once it came time for the appointment, I was unable to return his calls, or txts because my emergency ran over the time i thought it would take to handle the situation.
Now this guy is PMing me saying that he wasted alot of time because he still made the trip to my side of town DESPITE no response from me to confirm the appointment and that i should givee him a 'discount'....(i knew that was coming..lol)
What i want to know is if you guys/girls think i am responsible for his 'wasted' time even though he didnt get in contact with me and STILL DECIDED to come on his own free will??
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yep, emergencies happens. and sometimes, even tho it might be possible to contact someone when that happens, sometimes you just cant.
if this happened between you and me, and if you contacted me to explain why you couldnt contact me, i would understand.
now, if things went as you stated, and he said HE wasted his time and that you SHOULD GIVE him a discount, then i'd say he was being an egocentric dick. he chose to spend the time as he did. he does not run your life and how you live it.
however, if this happened between you and me and we really wanted to get together, i should be understanding about your situation. and it would be nice if you offered some sort of compensation [time and/or money and/or ???]. if you did, great. if you didnt, great. how our encounter turns out would help me decide whether or not i wanted to visit you again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by steverino50
... He agreed to the reschedule at a specified later time, and you didn't respond to his attempts at confirming the later time. I know you said you had an emergency and were unable but in his mind he may think he had a firm time slot and was a NC/NS victim.
To put it in perspective, sometimes the way things appear matter more than the way things are. If you have enough doubt to ask the question in a public forum, you already know the answer even if it is not the one you would prefer. Weigh that against how badly you want to have this fella as a client.
Either way, I hope it works out.
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it appears that the guy made a decision and came to a conclusion WITHOUT knowing all the particulars of the interaction. to me, for him to start basing his decisions on that incomplete information is unwarranted and, again, egocentric.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoDunn
I think he's being a little aggressive in demanding a discount, but I will say this: if I had done that to a lady, I would feel bad about it and would want to compensate her in some way.
I personally wouldn't ask the lady for a discount, but I probably wouldn't try to see her again either.
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based on what brooke wrote, i'd say he was being overly assertive but not agressive. oh, and being an egocentric dick [damn, am i repeating myself??]
whether or not she let me know what happen would affect how i felt about rescheduling, but dismissing her cos of what happened seems premature to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftPlaceToLand
I'm posting this with the idea that you truly want honest input.
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me too!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftPlaceToLand
... how well do you take care of your clients? Every single one is unique and special and most of them are used to a business mind. One that takes care of the client above all... it seems to me, based on the scenario you have presented that you are in fact at fault and the very least you can do is offer him an additional 30-45 min for his lost time.
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well, i'd only say that brooke is responsible for what happened to her, how she reacted, and that her actions/choices rippled out into the universe, including to her client.
he is responsible for entering into the interaction with her AND how he reacted to the events that took place.
i wouldnt say she or he are at fault, unless you're using "fault" as in insurance and liability.
he is not responsible for what caused her emergency, what happened afterwards, or how she did/did not communicate with him.
she is not responsible for why he wanted to visit her, how he felt when he didnt visit her, what he believed happened, nor how he reacted to all of this.
i would say they are responsible for the choices they made.
to say otherwise puts a lot of unreasonable burden on one person for another person's choices.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftPlaceToLand
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He put effort into you because he thought you were worth the effort and fee it takes to see you....
You have an opportunity here. It's a choice on how important this one client is to you ...
It's not his fault you had shit happen. You are the business, he is the client... you work to please him (or this is seriously the wrong job for you baby.) Looking at this as a business you really have no choice but to compensate him for the loss of his entire day to what looks like "just another provider's BS." <- I did not say it WAS, but from the outside with only your word, that's exactly what it looks like. I believe that is what meg was thinking from her post. I'm not nearly as kind when it comes to business.
Baby please see this as instruction. I had to learn this from the sub-terrain up. Don't be upset at being called on this. This is a perfect chance for growth. Use it.
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soft place, we've met several times and i would say that you do have your heart in your business and do your best to assist other women as they live and breath in this sub-culture.
so, i mildly disagree with part of this.
yes, he attempted to have an interaction with her.
yes, she attempted to have an interaction with him.
yes, the interaction did not complete.
yes, in the interests of her future interactions, she would be
wise to let him know why the interaction did not complete. and, as you said, if she feels he's important offer something so that a future interaction will complete.
however, she DOES have choices other than "you really have no choice but to compensate him."
and she must be responsible for whatever choice she makes and the consequences of that choice on her now and in the future.
yes, both of them can and should learn from the entire sequence of events.
and yes, for them to make choices without thinking about or considering consequences of those choices is probably short-sighted.
at least, that's how i approach interactions and what happens when Life makes hay of our plans.
in any case, she SHOULDNT do what we think she should do just cos we said so. i only suggest she think about the situation, consider the consequences of what she did and what she's going to do, and then do what she thinks is best for her, her business, the guy, and the universe ["no negative waves"].
so, brooke, if it were me, here's what i'd do. [btw, i'm not a provider and i dont play one on youPorn.com]
i'd communicate w/ the guy, explain my side of the story simply and without guilt, bullshit, excuses, etc.
if i really wanted to see him, i'd offer him a make-up session with some sort of reduction in fee or expansion of time.
then leave it up to him to decide.
if we actually do meet, great - and i'd do my best so he'd want to come back.
if we dont actually meet, great. i'd feel good that i put forth the effort to describe/communicate what happened.
best of luck!
and to all, if you've read all the way down it, this was my 2100-th post on eccie, according to eccie's records.
My Bio Page - Nevada - Las Vegas
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