Bbbj? I'm new why Must I do this?

[GingerKatt]

I just finished reading your two posts again, I was so shocked at Grace's incorrect view of my post that I immediately starting writing my next.
Yes, Grace, you were already here when I started, and I have never posted a lot. I didn't have a lot of information to share, as an extremely green newbie, who still thought on her first date from Backpage that an escort accompanied the client to dinner, or an event. I found out though, and I'm a quick learner. I just have never thrusted tons of my comments down Eccie's throat. A few times if I had something relevant to say, I would PM the OP. And then I read where you said not only did I pressure her, but I gave her flack?!?!
How dare you! You used to be smarter. Aren't you unavailable now? Something seems to be making you a little crazy and irresponsible now. Or maybe just wrong would be better. It does seem like her clients are pressuring her, but NO ONE in this thread has so far. She's just getting honest info that she asked for.
I TOOK a lot of flack a few weeks ago in a thread that had nothing to do with me, and it was so stupid and untrue I didn't even bother to post on there, telling them their info was not true and explaining it. But when a provider that I used to respect, thinks that in any way I woul treat another provider that way, I have to say something, as I am highly offended and a little hurt. I'm very pro provider, many have PM'D me over and over for more help and advice,(even several clients I've never met, but they liked my thinking in a post they read). Jokingly calling me the Eccie Counselor. And I always remind the providers: it's THEIR body, and to NEVER do anything they don't want to. So just tell me, what sentence pressured her? And where did I give her flack?
I don't recall saying "If you don't give BBBJ then you're a terrible,horrible escort and you'll be working at McDonald's next week. So start doing it or I'll start writing alerts on you and posting all type of false crap" No, I don't think that was my tone.

And thanks again ManSlut for getting it right. And you're right also in not seeing any pressure in any of the responses so far.

[Grace Preston]

I may have jumped the gun.... but obviously the OP feels pressured or she wouldn't have had to write the thread.

I can understand your curiousity about why she would be against BBBJ, but in the context of this particular thread, I felt it came across as more of a "why the heck don't you" than merely a question. The majority of the women who are CBJ have chosen to be that way because of safety concerns. It was once the norm in the hobby. I've personally decided to accept the risks of BBBJ in my hobby life-- but I guess I'd never question a lady as to her reasons why she chooses otherwise.

And yes, while none of the men in this thread are directly pressuring her to offer BBBJ-- there is a strong undercurrent of "well if you don't then you shouldn't expect as much business". Might not be intentional pressure-- but the undercurrent is most certainly there. It is hard to make a personal choice that goes against the vocal crowd.

I think when people question what services a lady does or does not offer-- it often places unintentional pressure on the lady to explain her motives. I just personally don't feel that is the right thing to do.

One of the most infuriating messages I've received in recent months was in response to me saying that I didn't offer bareback. It was a two word message. "Why not?" I bit back my desired smart assed response and politely explained my reasons. The response was "Well when you're ready to change your mind....". Yeah-- that is the undercurrent that is going through the city right now.

ETA-- Not that it is any of your business... but I'm not having knee surgery. Not sure where that one came from. "Crazy and irresponsible"... I'm not the one questioning why a lady would choose to use a condom for a sexual act.

[GingerKatt]

Grace,
It's very good of you to admit you may have jumped the gun. It's just that pressuring providers to do things they don't (and giving them flack about it),
are 2 big no no's in my book. Of course. They should be wrong to everyone. But the men simply and politely giving their preference and me stating my preference, BUT also stating you can certainly catch something, is what the OP started the thread for. And she got some really good information from a couple guys that said her showcase said GFE, and wasn't very clear, so some of her clients may have expected BBBJ. Her business may or may not be a little slower, but just until she has several sterling reviews and has developed an amazing reputation as a top notch provider. Then the men won't care if she's CBJ. I know several providers like that now. I've felt pressure myself over not offering Greek. Maybe in the future someday, I've usually responded and that should, be the end. But apparently the future is every 5-10 mins.
And I apologize for the knee surgery and why I thought your comment was crazy and irresponsible. It wasn't directed at the OP of course. The post started with "Grace". It was all about you. And falsely accusing an extremely pro provider escort like me,of pressuring another provider and giving her flack for CBJ is crazy and irresponsible, in my opinion only. Like I think (know) that offering Greek frequently will lead to a compromised anal sphincter and rectal leakage. Or even just a few times with a very large object will cause tearing and hemorrhoids. In my opinion.

[Grace Preston]

Your intention may not be to pressure her... but can you see how asking another lady why she doesn't do something would add to the men who are asking her the same thing? Think about it.. if enough people question why you do something.. over time you may begin to wonder if you are the one who is wrong-- even if you aren't. And my comment about flack wasn't really directed at you-- more as a discouragement to others who want to subtly dig at her for "daring to refuse to BBBJ".

To the OP-- I've said it before and I'll say it again. Do NOT allow yourself to feel like you have to do anything outside your comfort level to be successful in the hobby. There are many many ways to hobby-- and all of them have their own markets. You'll have a lot more success sticking to what you are comfortable with than trying to do things you don't want to do--- discomfort will always show.

[pmdelites]

the written word is always so difficult to properly interpret.
glad you two are getting close to being on the same wavelength.


wrt grace's posted statement "Do NOT allow yourself to feel like you have to do anything outside your comfort level to be successful in the hobby"
[and this applies to any decision one makes that doesnt affect a close relation (spouse, parent, children) - and even sometime then as well]...

once you make an important personal/life decision, just say what you will or wont do.
i've found it's best not to explain your rationale behind your decision.
doing so often gives the other party a chance to argue/debate your rationale. [kind like the guy who responsed to Grace w/ "Well when you're ready to change your mind...." - sounds like he's ready to challenge her on her rationale].

so, just say what your decision is and leave it at that.
if people cant accept and/or respect your decision, that's their problem not yours.



from a personal relationship point of view, i'm not talking about decisions like "i wanna have thai food tonite.". decisions more like "i'm gonna spend $10K for a doodad for the house." or "i'm moving to montana next week".
from a providing point of view, not decisions like "i'm changing my hair color to purple" but decisions more like "i dont give bbbjs" or "i dont like you sticking your fingers in my <insertNameOfOrificeHere>".

[pmdelites]

Athena Price, as many have said, you dont have to "do everything uncovered to gain any income." what you decide is what YOU decide, after taking into account likes, dislikes, health, etc.

i will say, whatever yo do - give it your all! there is very little upside in providing lackluster or mediocre services [NOT saying that you do that]. less than great services will affect your skills reputation and revenue more so than what activities you provide. at least, that's what i've seen in the past 16+ yrs.

the best to you in your providing career!!



from personal experience, the best fellatio i ever received was a covered one. my entire body shook for about 30-45 seconds.
on the other side, some of the worst fellatio services i've received were covered.

[~Ze~]

Just because other people are sheep to societies opinion, doesn't mean you need to be one too.

Do YOU.

Offer or don't offer whatever YOU are comfortable with.

Being told you will get less business?

Chunk tha deuce and strut your ass off.

Cater your to those that want to buy what YOU are selling.

Don't pay any attention to those that want to bend YOUR rules.

If all you are offering is a handjob in a garbage bag... rock the FUCK outta it, give the best fucking handjob in a garbage bag this side of the Mariana Trench. You will develop a niche following.

Break the norm. DON'T BE A SHEEP.

You have to live with yourself. Not someone you may only see for an hour of your life.

[pyramider]

The best bj I have received was covered, the worst was uncovered.

[rcinokc]

Originally Posted by ~Ze~

Just because other people are sheep to societies opinion, doesn't mean you need to be one too.

Do YOU.

Offer or don't offer whatever YOU are comfortable with.

Being told you will get less business?

Chunk tha deuce and strut your ass off.

Cater your to those that want to buy what YOU are selling.

Don't pay any attention to those that want to bend YOUR rules.

If all you are offering is a handjob in a garbage bag... rock the FUCK outta it, give the best fucking handjob in a garbage bag this side of the Mariana Trench. You will develop a niche following.

Break the norm. DON'T BE A SHEEP.

You have to live with yourself. Not someone you may only see for an hour of your life.

What she said. Offer what you are comfortable with, be upfront about it in your showcase, and see where it goes. If your service level gets you enough business to meet your financial needs great, if not, and your "no" list has no wiggle room, you may need to consider a career change.

[dianaares_x]

I completely understand where Athena Price is coming from. There is a very real pressure to do something/everything uncovered if you want gentlemen, and therefore income.

The mentality is BBBJ is the norm and it's still considered ok to offer CFS along with BBBJ...but if you're a girl who wants to offer CBJ and CFS, you'd be overlooked in an instant if there was someone else who offered BBBJ even though she may offer only CFS, only for her to be overlooked for someone ELSE who offered everything BB.

I don't understand why men are so willing to take a risk like this...and I don't understand why this board seems to so heavily cater to those who take this risk.

Have I offered it? Yeah, and there was a very serious risk factor involved. Was I very hesitant to? Most definitely. Not knowing your sex partner's history is a risky thing to do. I don't want to dump on anyone who offers or buys that particular risk, but I do find I'm much more paranoid than if I could just find someone who'd be ok with a condom all the time rather than only some of the time...

After all, HIV can still be spread if you use a condom. That's a fact.

[L.A.]

Originally Posted by dianaares_x

I completely understand where Athena Price is coming from. There is a very real pressure to do something/everything uncovered if you want gentlemen, and therefore income.

The mentality is BBBJ is the norm and it's still considered ok to offer CFS along with BBBJ...but if you're a girl who wants to offer CBJ and CFS, you'd be overlooked in an instant if there was someone else who offered BBBJ even though she may offer only CFS, only for her to be overlooked for someone ELSE who offered everything BB.

I don't understand why men are so willing to take a risk like this...and I don't understand why this board seems to so heavily cater to those who take this risk.

Have I offered it? Yeah, and there was a very serious risk factor involved. Was I very hesitant to? Most definitely. Not knowing your sex partner's history is a risky thing to do. I don't want to dump on anyone who offers or buys that particular risk, but I do find I'm much more paranoid than if I could just find someone who'd be ok with a condom all the time rather than only some of the time...

After all, HIV can still be spread if you use a condom. That's a fact.

I would be interested in knowing the number of cases of heterosexual sex with a condom that resulted in HIV. I would bet you'd have a better chance of winning the lottery.

Also not everybody is looking for everything uncovered. I can only speak for myself but I would make an educated guess that there is a significant number of people that are looking for BBBJ and CFS and have no interest in BBFS. I've been in this hobby for over 15 years and have never had unprotected sex with an independent escort...not once.
Having said that I would NEVER see anybody who only offered CBJ and I do mean never. In over 15 years I've ONLY received BBBJ and have never had a single issue.

I also would never be critical of a provider for only offering everything covered. But at least on this board BBBJ is the norm so if that's not something that's going to be offered it needs to be clear before the appointment is made. As long as it's clear there should be no issue on how an escort runs her business regarding services offered.

[Guest050619-1]

[QUOTE=~Ze~;1058680804] If all you are offering is a handjob in a garbage bag... rock the FUCK outta it, give the best fucking handjob in a garbage bag this side of the Mariana Trench. You will develop a niche following.[QUOTE]


Mariana Trench.....lol. Haven't heard that reference on Icky before.....

[Moriarty]

OP, do what you are comfortable with. Read up on market elasticity. You'll just need to set a price point and advertise enough in the right places to meet your income goals.

[albundy]

Originally Posted by Chung Tran

you don't have to do anything you don't want to.. but many of us in Dallas have absolutely no use for a CBJ.. speaking for myself, I would just as soon jack myself off or skip the CBJ entirely.. there is no pleasure to be derived, it MAY get me to an erection, but so can a hand, even my own.

there are some guys who see suburban spa girls, who never do BJ's, except for a few that will do a CBJ.. there is a market for that.. a small one.

^^^
Perfect response. Chung nailed it on the very first response to this thread. The thread should have been closed right after this post. It answers her completely.

It's simple. Do it or don't do it. Your choice, but expect fewer clients if you're CBJ.

Originally Posted by pyramider

The best bj I have received was covered, the worst was uncovered.

You must have had VERY few blowjobs in your life if the very best one was covered.

One of the most insane posts I ever read on here.

[pyramider]

You doubt a religious experience? I did not even notice when she put the condom on my 1.3" of dangling death. If the lady has oral skills a condom does not matter.