Quote:
Originally Posted by KCQuestor
There is a reason that a "third" for a threesome is called a "unicorn" in the swinger community. An attractive bi woman who is interested in being a third and is equally acceptable to you and your wife is almost as rare as that mythical beast.
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THIS!
I've been right where you're at with a couple of girls. Hell, right now my GF and I are STILL looking. But like Questor pointed out, it's not easy to find a girl that you like, your GF likes and who likes both of you and is down to just have sex without emotional attachment. Hell, even in the swinger community there is a lot of problem with that. Single girls get attached (granted SOME don't, but...) and there is USUALLY another guy involved, even if he's not physically present. But he may be a presence for her in who she sees, when she sees them,etc.
"Tricking" her is rough. I do have to admit. But here's the reason why, for THIS, I think escorts are slightly better. If you pick a good one, explain what you want, and don't want to go down, and they're cool w/ that, you'll have a great time because her job is to make sure both of YOU get off. BOTH of you. A Unicorn will have her own needs and ways of doing things. I can remember one episode a sweet, quiet girl got into our room and became Queen Whiny Bitch. Demanding we did things "JUST like THIS, or JUST LIKE THAT'. It was ALL about HER. And she was WAY more into my GF than me (a VERY VERY VERY common occurence). It wasn't enjoyable for either of us. Even the GF was turned off, not on by it. You eliminate the randomness of the encounter and ensure you both have fun. If you read my reviews, there was one encounter early on w/ my GF just trying out the bi thing for the first time that was UNBELIEVABLE. And, at first, she was leery of having a "professional" as well. I think sometimes it's their insecurities. They think if you're in bed with a pro, how will they ever stack up. But in this case, we were all into one another and I was thinking I should just go ahead and die right there, cuz life wasn't going to get any better than THAT! It was amazing!
If you're bound and determined to do without a pro, then you have several ways. First is the random. Just go out to a nice bar/club and have your GF flirt with girls. She'll be better bait than you ever will be. Next I'd say find out where the swingers clubs are located and give one a try. They're hit or miss. And you'll find that swingers can be quite cliquish. And expect to take time. While random hookups DO happen, they're a lot less common than you'd think. Especially if you're new. Newbies are usually watched a bit until everyone knows BOTH parties are cool and OK with it. But, again, remember that you're fishing in overfished waters there. EVERY couple there is looking for the Unicorn. But, at least at the clubs you get a chance to meet people socially first and you can meet lots of people in one sitting. Nothing may happen the first time (it might..) but you might meet people that you like and can meet again later.
Finally there are the websites. Personally I think AFF is complete waste of time. There are tons of crazies and fakes. And the system spams you with "interested parties" that aren't. C4P is better. But you need to join as a couple. Single males are not very welcome, even if your girl IS with you. Most just assume a single guy saying he has a girl is really a guy cheating. And, shocking to some, MOST swingers are adamantly opposed to cheating.
So, how did I do it? I hired a pro that was UTR and very "normal" that I already knew. Told her the deal and kept the payment on the DL. Just told her I was paying for drinks and gas money to join us and splitting the room.
. Just have her participate in the selection and make her feel like she's the chooser and ur the payer lol
) so I felt ok with just arranging a provider, much less expensive than tooling up a stripper and chancing being in on club drama when you come back and the stripper sees you as a "friend she can talk to" (yeah that's a good way to hear all about what happens in the locker room... allllllll night long). So a provider made life easier.
