How Do Firstimers Get Verified To Be Able To Meet A Provider?

[fatoldguy]

I'm glad I found this thread, very informative. thank You.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

Here's the painless way to do it (as I did). I simply refuse to see providers that want biographical info on me. I completely understand why they do it, but I've come to find out that most providers rely on their gut instinct more than some formulated screening method. Here's what I did. Find a provider you are interested in. E-mail/talk/whatever you want to call it with her for maybe as long as a month in advance of when you want to see her. Get to know her. More importantly, let her get to know you. Let her get comfortable with you. Ease your way into planning any specific day/time. Most importantly, explain to her that you are unable to provide some of the required information due to privacy concerns-- be up front about that. Be an active participant on the boards. On the other hand, let her know you handle on boars like this. If she sees you participating in discussions, it is another way for her to be comfortable with you. Give it time. It is almost like setting up a real date. Woe the provider. It worked for me. I was able to see several ladies this way. Once I had seen them and reviews them, I joined P411. Since then, I've never had to use a provider's screening process (as long as she's P411). In any case you should have several references if a provider still needs to screen more thoroughly. If you play your cards right and are known enough on boards like this, providers won't even second guess you and will see you based on a solid reputation alone.

Probably the best newbie advice ever posted. And a good reminder for the rest of us.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by lilred_robin

Nope.
No way
uh-uh
not gonna happen
No offense, but the owner could contact me by PM and I'd still ask for screening.

As is your right.

But the problem is, and always has been, how someone starts. The whole issue is trust--different people have different comfort levels on trust, either because of their circumstances or their experiences (good or bad) in the past.

I would expect a well established lady gets more stringent in her screening--she can afford to be and why wouldn't she want the extra level of safety? A lady just starting out may not have the luxury because she does not have a base of established clients already.

The same s true for the men: someone with a long list of references and a good reputation probably has to give out less information to make a lady feel comfortable with him.

It's all about compatable comfort levels: am I willing to give the information that makes her comfortable enough to see me? No single right answer will ever exist.

PS: Now that I have established a resume that allows me to see almost anyone I want to see it is much easier for me to advise ladies to use references as a large part of their screening process. What amazes me is how many ladies ask for references and/or P411&DC IDs, AND THEN NEVER CHECK THEM!!!!! I do care about the safety of the ladies I see, and it bothers me that they have the info in an e-mail or PM and then don't use it.

[Wicket]

Originally Posted by Old-T

What amazes me is how many ladies ask for references and/or P411&DC IDs, AND THEN NEVER CHECK THEM!!!!! I do care about the safety of the ladies I see, and it bothers me that they have the info in an e-mail or PM and then don't use it.

I'm amazed at this as well. At least access my P411 profile to see who I have seen!

[Mature Companion]

I concur! NO way in hell is ones board persona/postings/longevity on a sex site a safe means of screening. Hell NO!'

Screening applies to everyone! Not just some.

Originally Posted by lilred_robin

Nope.
No way
uh-uh
not gonna happen
No offense, but the owner could contact me by PM and I'd still ask for screening.

[Mature Companion]

I disagree. Rather his post (not advice) just gave LE, stalkers and men who harm women. The know how of HOW to sweet talk a lady for over a months time in order to get behind locked doors with them. What worked for him, was slick but it's not something that will work for most nor is it a SAFE way to meet a guy.
NOR is it prudent for most providers who depend one the hobby to support them; to be chatting it up with someone for over a month just as a means of *getting to know them* when said un-screened guy hasn't booked a date with her in that time period thus costing her time money.

Originally Posted by Old-T

Probably the best newbie advice ever posted. And a good reminder for the rest of us.

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by Wicket

I'm amazed at this as well. At least access my P411 profile to see who I have seen!

I get asked for references about half the time! Only about 30% actually check!

[Mature Companion]

I've heard that many times.
Checking/communicating with the P411 references is a key comment of screening P411 gents. And it's something Gina suggests.
Esp. when the gent or one or more of his provider OK's admit to never having seen each other, yet the provider/s gave him an OK.
I've come across that MANY times and have notified Gina.

Screen & check with references. If a guy hobbies, then he should have zero issue providing hobby related screening. (hobby cell/hobby email/ /handle/age/description/ref.) And IF he complains about providing hobby related screening. Then he's hiding something. IE: bad behavior and or alerts related to him. Thus someone to avoid!!

Originally Posted by Wicket

I'm amazed at this as well. At least access my P411 profile to see who I have seen!

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

I disagree. Rather his post (not advice) just gave LE, stalkers and men who harm women. The know how of HOW to sweet talk a lady for over a months time in order to get behind locked doors with them. What worked for him, was slick but it's not something that will work for most nor is it a SAFE way to meet a guy.
NOR is it prudent for most providers who depend one the hobby to support them; to be chatting it up with someone for over a month just as a means of *getting to know them* when said un-screened guy hasn't booked a date with her in that time period thus costing her time money.

WM, I am going to disagree with you on a couple points. I have no delusion I will change your mind but that is not my intent. I do not claim your views are wrong for you, that is not my place to say, but I do think they are wrong for many. I do hope to put some alternative thoughts out there for new people to this business (on both sides of the street).

But I will argue that what you focused in on was only a part of the message, and you tossed out several very pieces of good advice. Namely that a guy should look at time with a lady as an investment. Take the time to make her feel comfortable with you and find out enough about each other to know if you are likely to click. Don't treat her like an impersonal e-mail robot and then complain about her persoanality. Communicate, explain, talk, be up front, provide the information you ARE comfortable with and see if there is acceptable middle ground. Treat her as (GASP!) a person with interests & feelings, worth an investment of TIME as well as money. I think you overlooked a lot of very good advice that I DO believe the majority of ladies appriciate.

The second point is that this is an investment ON BOTH SIDES. The advice was not to dominate a lady's time for hours a day. Two people can have a very informative, useful discussion/exploration in 10 min every few days or week. And it need not be painful nor onerous. I have found that such exchanges INCREASE the likelyhood I will see a lady, and when I see her it will be for a longer time. If a civil exchange--preferrably touched with a little humor--is too much to ask of a lady before I meet her, then it is unlikely I will ever decide I want to meet her.

Nothing at all was said about NOT using references and services such as P411. In fact CP seemed to clearly indicate that was the preferred process when such references are available (i.e. not a newbie). And I have repeatedly advocated references in multiple posts.

You clearly have a very definitive view of things. Again, if it works for you, that is great. It does not work for everyone. I have had exceptionally good results with mine and will continue to use it, improving where I see an opportunity to do so.

[AmericanGeisha]

P411 is great or find a well known/reviewed lady who is newbie friendly and send your info she needs to screen . I 'd say your 1st should be with a well reviewed well known lady so you know your exp will be great !Avoid BP it is ok to look through but learn how to research the girls as well! If you have a work web presence always is a + Good Luck !!!

[lilred_robin]

If someone gives me 2-3 refs and the first one I call answers, I may or may not contact the others.
I always check P411, I love reading the profile to see if there's anything he likes I can make sure to include.

I have had a few gents try to chat me up.. asking for my number after 5 emails and yet not sending me any screening info (after I've asked). I politely say that my number is only given out after I'm able to have a chat (or email) with his references. And yes, I research the ladies someone uses as references to make sure SHE doesn't have alerts posted against her.
I don't mind BP ladies, I know many start there and even several ladies here use BP to advertise as well. But I make sure I can find at least a few positive mentions of her here as well.

When I lived in Houston, I "played" full time.
Now, I have a full time "job" and only play when I have the time to. I don't have time to do a background check on my own. (the whole employment verification calling pretending I'm a banker or something to chat with Mr so-n-so to make sure you are who you say you are and not a cop)

[Cpalmson]

Originally Posted by LusciousLacy

+1000 I refuse to see anyone based on reputation alone. They can go through screening or move on. I bet ole Ted Bundy got through by simply woeing the girls too......jus saying.

Id love to know who doesnt screen but merely just relies on their gut alone. Def be put on my list of unacceptable references

Comparing me to Ted Bundy is uncalled for, period, dot, end of discussion.

BTW, it was the provider who told me that I didn't need to go through her screening process. I was willing to provide references and/or P411 information. I didn't ask her to accept my reputation alone. Also, it took me several years to build up a reputation on boards like this board. It's not like I sweet talked someone into a date under false pretenses. It was mutual respect on the behalf of both parties.

Originally Posted by Old-T

Probably the best newbie advice ever posted. And a good reminder for the rest of us.

Thanks for your support.

Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

I disagree. Rather his post (not advice) just gave LE, stalkers and men who harm women. The know how of HOW to sweet talk a lady for over a months time in order to get behind locked doors with them. What worked for him, was slick but it's not something that will work for most nor is it a SAFE way to meet a guy.
NOR is it prudent for most providers who depend one the hobby to support them; to be chatting it up with someone for over a month just as a means of *getting to know them* when said un-screened guy hasn't booked a date with her in that time period thus costing her time money.

Trust me, I'm no Casanova when it comes to "sweet talking" the ladies. I'm probably one of the most naive guys out there when it comes to wooing the women. Cops, stalkers, and men who harm women are probably 100 times better at wooing women, and oh BTW already KNOW this. I'm not telling them something that is like divine revelation.

[evietaylor]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

Here's the painless way to do it (as I did). I simply refuse to see providers that want biographical info on me. I completely understand why they do it, but I've come to find out that most providers rely on their gut instinct more than some formulated screening method. Here's what I did. Find a provider you are interested in. E-mail/talk/whatever you want to call it with her for maybe as long as a month in advance of when you want to see her. Get to know her. More importantly, let her get to know you. Let her get comfortable with you. Ease your way into planning any specific day/time. Most importantly, explain to her that you are unable to provide some of the required information due to privacy concerns-- be up front about that. Be an active participant on the boards. On the other hand, let her know you handle on boars like this. If she sees you participating in discussions, it is another way for her to be comfortable with you. Give it time. It is almost like setting up a real date. Woe the provider. It worked for me. I was able to see several ladies this way. Once I had seen them and reviews them, I joined P411. Since then, I've never had to use a provider's screening process (as long as she's P411). In any case you should have several references if a provider still needs to screen more thoroughly. If you play your cards right and are known enough on boards like this, providers won't even second guess you and will see you based on a solid reputation alone.

I cannot believe what I'm reading!

You are wrong...at least when it comes to reputable ladies who care about their safety & the safety of others. There is no way in hell a hobbyist is going to "woe" a good provider out of screening. Being well known on the boards does not guarantee you a decent reputation. Being a message board participant is not a guarantee for safety. Shame on you for even suggesting this to newbies.

Newbies, definitely join P411 or Date-Check, BUT don't be surprised as a newbie without any 'okay's or 'refs' on your screening profile if the provider still wants a few details on you. This is for the safety of BOTH of you. In fact, as a newbie, you might be nuts to go meet a provider who doesn't require screening as she could turn out to be LE.

As a provider I do NOT rely on my gut instict alone. That is ridiculous.

Oh, and as far as corresponding with a provider for "as long as a month in advance", this might get you labeled as a time waster who really isn't interested in scheduling at all. Most gentlemen who are serious about meeting know it ahead of time & contact you when they know they are able to schedule. Whether it be for a date that week or next month for a business trip, they respect the fact that this is our business and we're not here looking to be email buddies. We don't mind corresponding via email to get to know you a little, but let's get down to business, okay?


P.S. There are ways we can screen you even if you don't want to provide us with vivid details about yourself. You'd be surprised at the tools the internet provides. Anyone with even an iota of computer/internet knowledge knows this. Ladies who get into this business, if they're smart, do their research & learn their way around technology to protect themselves.

[Mature Companion]

THANK YOU!

I find it rather insulting that pretty much *only* the men agree that it's OK to forgo proper screening and try to slither their way into seeing a lady behind locked doors, by *wooing* them and or by way of their so called important board persona.

And FYI, Cpalmson;

It should never take a guy over a month for a lady *get to know you* before you decide to book a date with her. I'm curious as to what *all* you relayed to her during that whole month?
And yes, even the sweetest talking man with the most well known board persona can resemble Ted Bundy in real life!!

Glad to know that many wise women, here don't fall for the;
*get to know me scheme because I don't have references. But I'm well known on the boards.* bullshit.

Originally Posted by evietaylor

I cannot believe what I'm reading!

You are wrong...at least when it comes to reputable ladies who care about their safety & the safety of others. There is no way in hell a hobbyist is going to "woe" a good provider out of screening. Being well known on the boards does not guarantee you a decent reputation. Being a message board participant is not a guarantee for safety. Shame on you for even suggesting this to newbies.

Newbies, definitely join P411 or Date-Check, BUT don't be surprised as a newbie without any 'okay's or 'refs' on your screening profile if the provider still wants a few details on you. This is for the safety of BOTH of you. In fact, as a newbie, you might be nuts to go meet a provider who doesn't require screening as she could turn out to be LE.

As a provider I do NOT rely on my gut instict alone. That is ridiculous.

Oh, and as far as corresponding with a provider for "as long as a month in advance", this might get you labeled as a time waster who really isn't interested in scheduling at all. Most gentlemen who are serious about meeting know it ahead of time & contact you when they know they are able to schedule. Whether it be for a date that week or next month for a business trip, they respect the fact that this is our business and we're not here looking to be email buddies. We don't mind corresponding via email to get to know you a little, but let's get down to business, okay?


P.S. There are ways we can screen you even if you don't want to provide us with vivid details about yourself. You'd be surprised at the tools the internet provides. Anyone with even an iota of computer/internet knowledge knows this. Ladies who get into this business, if they're smart, do their research & learn their way around technology to protect themselves.

[MWCompanions]

The best advice for a new hobbiest is to read reviews. Find what type of provider you are looking for (budget, looks, menu, etc)

Contact her. See what she needs. Explain your situation. Be honest.

Some ladies do require 2 references, but not everyone does. Some will rely on alternate screening methods. I would be leery of anyone who does not require screening.

We use screening to ensure that we are not meeting with LE or someone who wishes to do us harm. I wish everyone in the world was nice and safe but that is just not the case.

http://www.preferred411.com is a great tool. So is http://www.date-check.com (I prefer P411 myself)

Or you can get privately screened thru the provider using whatever method she requests.

I know it might be a little frustrating but the end result is very much worth it. Have fun and good luck!