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SneakyCancer · 03-17-2010, 03:55 PM

i generally think admitting fetishes and getting turned away is one sided. meaning women can say what they want and be labeled a hot, horny, and freaky. but if a dude says same thing, he could be a pervert, looser, creep, etc...

i once seen jerry springer and a dude like throwing up on his partner while having sex. now this is extreme but it deserves to be on the "do not call list." whips, chains, foot,etc is user discretion.

Spank me momma spank me....and the foot thing...had it long time ago....did not believe i could get off but to my liking and knowledge, exploded like a real hand job.

berkleigh · 03-17-2010, 07:01 PM

I am open to most fetishes.

I honestly like when I get the requests as it opens up more variety in my Life and Hobby World.

I am down to try anything once.

ElisabethWhispers · 03-19-2010, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by da1unevahad

i generally think admitting fetishes and getting turned away is one sided. meaning women can say what they want and be labeled a hot, horny, and freaky. but if a dude says same thing, he could be a pervert, looser, creep, etc...

i once seen jerry springer and a dude like throwing up on his partner while having sex. now this is extreme but it deserves to be on the "do not call list." whips, chains, foot,etc is user discretion.

Spank me momma spank me....and the foot thing...had it long time ago....did not believe i could get off but to my liking and knowledge, exploded like a real hand job.

Women are, or would be, just as maligned as men are for their sexual deviancies. I'm fairly new to exploring different areas of sexuality and I always run into people who, if I dare mentioned it, say something to the negative.

One time, I was at the airport and well, I was just being onery, and a young guy asked me "What do you do for a living"? Not that saying a dominatrix is a better choice but it's not saying an escort. So I said the former. He was a young, hip professional but he took three steps back and said, "Oh wow", and didn't speak to me again. That was after having a great few minutes discussing books.

So although I do prefer, overall, a wonderful and warm experience with my sexual partner, I would be telling a fib if I said that I wasn't just a little depraved with some of my thoughts. VERY depraved. It's just that some of us think it and others? We might like to give it a whirl.

I believe that a sexually actualized person can have several different aspects of their sexuality and it's all good. And can be downright wonderful!!!

Elisabeth

Guest050911 · 03-20-2010, 12:08 AM

Well Said, EW Sweetheart...

Da - I would have to say, from my experience and conversations that the ladies suffer as well as the men...

Berk - I got a request for a latex clown suit, a garden hose in yellow, 13 howler monkeys and a Xylophone - you game?

I will say that on the Old Board, I offered to assist those gentlemen interested in learning the "Rules of the Road" in D/S play - Domination 101 as it where. Almost immediately, a Hobbyist jumped on me and accused me of beating unaware providers. As I had carefully crafted the post to state that I had willing ladies (Who had actually requested that I offer this assistance) that were happy to be the receiver, I was greatly offended and replied in very strenuous terms that he was way outta line....

I am surprised that even in our current time and in this community, there is still such misunderstanding of an interest in fetish areas...

I do hope that the Another Realm forum and this discussion, as well as others I have in mind help to enlighten those who do not understand and encourage those who have an interest and fear that interest, or the reaction of others.

I value more feedback....

charlestudor2005 · 03-20-2010, 08:22 AM

Well, I almost didn't reply for fear of the kind of retaliation you inferred in the OP.

I am a guy who craves a session with a domme who will completely take over the session with bondage, cbt, tit torture, strapons and the like. I'm not much into spanking, but wouldn't object to a little lite spanking. In other words, want to be completely at the domme's mercy. With 2 exceptions: I want to choose the lady, and I want the session to end in a GFE experience.

I have had 2-3 sessions like this. The first one I reviewed. The lady sent me an email saying she was stunned that I did so--most men wouldn't review a D/s session. The other 2 I did not review.

The people on this board are pretty open-minded, but I think they do draw some lines. I'm not sure what some of those lines are which probably results in being reluctant to post reviews of these kinds of sessions.

If I remember correctly, on the mother ship there was a forum for these kinds of reviews as well as ad space. So if you were interested in this kind of conduct, you had a place to go to narrow your search.

Most ladies, in their ECCIE Showcase, just put GFE, PSE or Fetish for the kinds of activities they consider. If she wants, a lady can be more specific on P411, but not all ladies are that specific.

I think a lot of ladies who are willing to engage in the D/s conduct in the P4P world don't say so. Their fear is the same as mine. The fear of being "banned" (unofficially) by some members in the hobby.

In the final analysis, I think that we say we are open-minded, but we really aren't. This community still has bias against certain kinds of conduct. Taboos, so to speak. The kind of conduct in which I like too engage may not be embraced by all people, but it should be OK to all people as conduct occurring between consenting adults.

Willen · 03-22-2010, 12:48 PM

There's a hidden premise, quite possibly unintended, in some of these comments. The premise is that the person can only get a good session by indulging their fetish(es). In my experience that isn't true in all cases, maybe not in most cases. Surely there are instances, such as a dom/sub scene, where denial of a happy ending to the sub is central to the session. In that case, then GFE could never be a substitute, and maybe the dom or sub would find GFE boring. But most of the 'push the envelope' sessions I've done have come after several 'conventional' sessions with the lady, and we've discovered a mutual trust level together with a mutual interest in exploration. In other words, we got to 'kinky' precisely because the GFE worked so well. So "good vanilla" and "good rum raisin" (sorry, 1st thing that came to mind) are not at all necessarily incompatible.

That said, I don't do reviews of my least conventional activities because I worry that Ms. "X" might get labeled as "that girl who did _____ with Willen." I'm happy, if she agrees, to do a review that hints pretty clearly that things got unconventional, but that's it--for me. I would also say that I've got no criticism of anyone for whom the idea that "Ms.X" "did ____ with Willen" is so much of a turn off that they couldn't enjoy a session with her. The mind is by far the biggest key to having fun in our world. However, I certainly see no need to add "WARNING, X may go kinky" to all my comments. Why should I reduce her play prospects when I know from experience she does a fine GFE session? So my reviews try to walk a fine line in this respect.

Great thread.

Rae Monroe · 03-22-2010, 02:53 PM

As a fetishist myself I would not look down on them. To each their own. About the only taboo subject to me is children & animals.

I may make a discretionary decision not to visit with someone who loves scat play but that does not mean that I look down on them for their interests it simply means that I am not attracted to someone who finds that stimulating and would not want to spend time with them.

I think that choosing not to see someone for their love of a certain fetish is not descrimination, looking down or talking bad about them because of it is.

lenh51 · 03-23-2010, 12:58 AM

I have been reluctant to be to open about my fetish but I will dive in here and see what reaction I get. I like to be made to wear panties and then be tied up and teased- it has nothing to do with being feminne or bi or gay. I just love them feel of them especially when teased to attention. I can't really say why - they simply make me feel hot. I have always worried that others would think it wierd.

Guest050911 · 03-23-2010, 07:54 AM

lenh51,

Why ask why? I like high heels, not a foot fetishist, just love the look of a lady wearing heels. And ankles bound together,with heels, Woah!!

I love good GFE, and do it probably 3 to 1 on a fetish session. I just wonder if folks look down on me or others because we do like and admit to fetishes....

vnurse · 03-23-2010, 09:56 AM

PPE, I have decided that you should come see me when you are in the "3" mood and not the "1" mood! LOL!

While I find it all very fascinating and intriguing, it just isn't for me ( the BDSM stuff).

Now, when you get into the mud discussion, I am ALL there! I don't look down on anyone for anything but that doesn't mean that some people don't. *I just got an idea for a post in "Another Realm"!*

It's sort of like a murderer looking down on a thief for stealing from old people or the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?

MLisa · 03-23-2010, 11:09 AM

Where to start? First thank you PPE for posting this thread.
I know when I first started out I was a bit weary of posting to any of the alt thread/rooms/board areas because I am very aware of some folks fears. But then I figured what the hell.
It all only gives folks another view of some of the "rooms" that are in my head.
I've had the pleasure of learning to be more comfortable w/some of my more dominant aspects because of a few folks from this world who trusted me to play there w/them. As to my subby side I rarely let her out for p4p. If I do it is only after I've gotten comfortable w/the person and felt they are knowledgable and relatively safe about their play. But still nothing extreme there.

Now as to some of the 'harder' fetishes? Well I generally dont consider folks who play inthose realms less safe, generally they tend to go to the extreme as to their personal safety. I've been lucky enough to meet a few of the european fetish players and learned a lot from them regards safety and health protection. The key for folks who want to play in those arenas is to do the same we do in this one: research, read, discuss, learn.

If folks want to not see me because of my possible interests in fetish then so be it. As has been stated on quite a few other threads there is enough variety for everyone.

What is one's kink is another's vanilla.

I happen to find the inside cut out on women's high heels so f*king hot, its gotten to be better than toe cleavage, its arch appeal hehe. Is it a fetish? It is now for me, but for someone else its just a foot in a shoe.

Hot to Trot Daphne · 03-23-2010, 01:55 PM

I think it's safe now for Me to speak..

As a Domina that also provides incredible GFE sessions, I feel like one can be exceptional at both. Neither one is My specialty, but rather each one is a different facet of who I am. The only time you should have to worry about someone not being able to perform both with just as much vigor is when they are just doing it for the money and it is not a true interest of theirs. Keep in mind that just because someone looks down on your fetish does not mean that it not an interest or a secret passion of theirs. Close mindedness and shame keep certain people "in line" with what society feels like is the norm, even when it comes to something as personal as your sexuality.

So to answer the original question, I have hobbyist who come see Me that have very unique interests, some of them I may oblige to, some I may not. But I do not look down on them for it or think that it is weird. It only interests Me. On the other hand, I know that there are some gentlemen that don't come see me because they also see my Mistress Sheeda ads on BP or Eros, recognize that it's Me, then assume that I'm going to try to go BDSM in our session. I never do that unless the gentleman (or lady) expresses that's what they want.That is why there is a Mistress Sheeda, and a Daphne. They are my Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And I do not confuse the two.

smoothnsilky · 03-23-2010, 02:07 PM

I believe that the more honest someone is with their sexuality and their fetishes that the more respected they are. I definitely have a Dom side but I do not use it. It excites me so though to fantasize about it. Many people tell me that I need to start doing it, that I would be really good at it.

There are some "fetishes" that I believe are morally wrong and I am sure other people feel the same way about mine. There are few I feel that way about but none the less, I stick to me feelings. Honestly, I don't think you can count them as fetishes. They are more crimes in my opinion. But alas.

LatexLover · 03-29-2010, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothnsilky

I believe that the more honest someone is with their sexuality and their fetishes that the more respected they are. I definitely have a Dom side but I do not use it. It excites me so though to fantasize about it. Many people tell me that I need to start doing it, that I would be really good at it!

I agree!! Please do me first!

See you in May!

Your CuntSlave

aka

Spaulding Smails · 03-30-2010, 12:10 AM

I'll chime in. I recently visited a provider and during "pillow talk" discovered that she has a second, totally separate identity as a dom. Different name, ad channels, and pics, etc. Personally, it turned me on tremendously, motivated me to open up about all of my fantasies, and I felt as if I was suddenly with a Ferrari rather than a BMW. A more robust engine, imagine the possibilities, so to speak.

I personally believe that everyone probably has fetishes. As someone stated previously, it just requires a certain level of self-actualization to accept and explore your fetishes in depth. I believe the alternative forum is of tremendous value in that it encourages discussion on this topic.

To be clear, as a hobbyist, I am more inclined or turned on to see a provider who is open about her fetishes, as I know that she probably has a broader repertoire of services and is more in touch with her own sexuality. Which are likely to lead to a hotter and more mutually satisfying session.