Good Morning Class. Professor SL Is Taking A Few Days Off. My Name Is Treetop. I am Your Substitute. Today Is Field Trip Day To Better Understand What A 50 to 70 Year Old Inactive White Dude Really Looks Like

[Cap'n Crunch]

Guys like Whispers are so fat they may expire at any moment; so out of shape that every breath is a cliffhanger.

[Kickrocks]

Originally Posted by Treetop78759

Good morning class. Professor SL is taking a few days of much needed vacation and that is why he isn't here. My name is Mr. Treetop and I'll be your substitute teacher.

Guess what class? Today we are going to take a field trip to "my" HEB. Tommy, please bring those rolls of duck tape with you.

Now that we are in the grocery store now let's walk over to the baking isle. Tommy, you are our volunteer today because you are an attractive, fit and a height weight proportionate active white dude.

Now class, I need each one of you to get a one pound brick of lard off the bottom shelf. Now let's tape 20 of those bricks of lard to Tommy to simulate an extra 20 pounds.I know class, they all won't fit around the belly so tape 2 under his chin and the rest on his ass and legs

"Ewwww" the class moans after the 20th. one is taped. I agree class. It's pretty gross. Now let's tape 10 more on Tommy and then keep going up in increments of 10 pounds until Tommy has 80 bricks of lard attached to him. Keep in mind that the more bricks you tape to him that you will eventually be putting fat on top of fat on top of fat as Tommy gets fatter and fatter and uglier and uglier. Also imagine how even more grostique it would be if they were not tall or less then 6 foot.

Now that we are finished let me summarize the lesson we learned today. We all said that 20 bricks of lard taped to Tommy was gross. Now that he has 80 taped to him it not only made Tommy really ugly and stink really bad it also turned him into a disgusting piece of human waste.

No women really wants Tommy anymore. Not even his cheerleader girlfriend since he has had since elementary school. Now, if Tommy wants a kiss he has to pay someone. Now imagine if he was your future husband and you had to sleep with him. A fat ball of hair and pimples on his back doesn't sound good does it? Yuck.

In other words, the next time an inactive 50-70 year old white dude says 20 - 80 pounds is only a few extra pounds you know that isn't true.

Now close your eyes and try to visualize a group of 10 old white dudes with a "few extra pounds" having drinks.

That could be a group that is collectively carrying 800 bricks of lard. Maybe even ONE THOUSAND if they are not telling the truth about their "few extra pounds? That is why a bunch of lard ass dudes hang out together. Because they are all like minded a want to hang around with other sloths. That's good they have each other because nobody else wants wants them except when it comes to their money.

Tomorrow we will do another exercise on 50-70 year old inactive white dudes with a "few extra pounds". We are going to watch first hand how they changed from a fit dude to a gross old fat dude that stinks.

Also, please give this list I'm passing out to your parents because this is what we will need during lab tomorrow.

3 GI Joe Dolls
3 Ken Dolls
3 Tarzan Dolls
1 Hacksaw Blade
18 Feet of String
10 Pounds of Crisco
10 Pounds of Candle Wax
1 Propane Turkey Frier
2 Quarts of Fermented Cabbage
3 Extra Large Glass Vases (large mouth, one gallon)

I will bring the misc. items.

Class dismissed.

So do you think 20-80lbs of fat looks just as bad on a woman?

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Cap'n Crunch

Guys like Whispers are so fat they may expire at any moment; so out of shape that every breath is a cliffhanger.

You are such a wuss..... typical an adolescent male.... After the fat jokes will there be some "Yo Mamma" jokes to follow?

It had to be disappointing hearing some of what the lady sitting next to you had to say that night huh? Or the other two that found there way over to me at the table..... I didn't notice you getting any attention at all....

Do ya ever wonder why that is?

Not many ladies like a wuss.... They love your money.... BUt getting the time of day from one off the clock?

Must be sad being you....

[nuglet]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Not many ladies like a wuss.... They love your money.... BUt getting the time of day from one off the clock?

Must be sad being you....

You, of all posters, would know, again, just another pointless "look at me" posting by wimpie, a "has been"!

[Cap'n Crunch]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Must be sad being you....

The obscenely grotesque Whispers; I wonder if he owns a mirror?

The blob says "Must be sad being you..."

Well gee, it must be wonderful to be Whispers. The toad insists people are jealous of him for all the pussy he pays for. Of course, this horror-show-of-a-human-being couldn't get free pussy if his life depended on it!

Yeah, must be wonderful to be Whispers...

[Observing]

Originally Posted by Whispers

You are such a wuss..... typical an adolescent male.... After the fat jokes will there be some "Yo Mamma" jokes to follow?

It had to be disappointing hearing some of what the lady sitting next to you had to say that night huh? Or the other two that found there way over to me at the table..... I didn't notice you getting any attention at all....

Do ya ever wonder why that is?

Not many ladies like a wuss.... They love your money.... BUt getting the time of day from one off the clock?

Must be sad being you....

"there" or "their"? Slow those fat fingers down!
Spell check is your friend!

And unless your fat ass is paying one way or another(including promises of grandeur or veiled threats),you ain't gettin' shit off the clock.

[David.Douchehurst]

Hey, Perfesser, who 'r whut duz sumbuddy gotta blow, fukk, 'r cah-noodle 'roundt h'yar ta git an A fer tha course? Jus' axskin' fer a friend. Ah already gots mah ah-soshy-yet's degree in this shee'yit frum ITT tech.