Hmmmmmm????? I could never ever do that....

[ANONONE]

Originally Posted by jfred

Yeah, so what about this?

HOBBYIST IN BIG TROUBLE!!! Ladies, I need your help. There have been insane demands on my budget lately -- totally unexpected -- and I can't make ends meet. By the time I pay my bills there's NOTHING left to hobby with!!!

I'm depressed and irritable. My boss has noticed a drop in my work quality. My poor kids think I'm Jeckel/Hyde. It's gonna cost me dearly in these areas if I don't get some relief.

I'll get paid on the 15th, but until then please provide me with unpaid sex. Five or 6 sessions is all it would take.

You know I've never asked for anything like this before. But this is an EMERGENCY!!!

Now that is a very clever use of sarcasm to make a point, jfred.

Kudos to you!

Having been around the hobby block for what will soon be three decades, this sort of thing does often happen. Often there is a legitimate reason for such electronic panhandling, but just as often it is a ploy to generate revenue, or sadly they get the compassion of others and either only put a bandage on their financial troubles, or blow the cash completely and continue to perpetuate their woes. This is not a provider thing, it is a people thing. Not many people male, female, pervert or puritan handle money well, just look at the consumer debt statistics.

Now I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but the reality is that the some providers see hobbyists as walking ATM machines. That is not necessarily a bad thing.

This is a business and emotional/social buffers are important. While with them, the best providers craft an illusion of friendship, affection, and passion for us--that is why we pay them. We also pay them to gives an hour or so of bliss with no entanglements. Sure sometimes we can become friendly, and perhaps even establish friendships, and romance has even been known to occur. None the less, we should strive to keep the lines clear rather than blurry.

We are also a community. When tragedy strikes, it is perhaps best to manage it outside the hobby, or perhaps by word of mouth and hopefully a group of people will champion your cause so you do not have to beg. Hopefully those that come to the aid of a person that is struggling will also beware not to enable a bigger problem.

Sadly, having done this for many years, I have learned the hard way that

YOU NEVER GIVE A PROVIDER MONEY UNLESS IT IS A PAY FOR PLAY SITUATION.

More times than not you will actually make the situation worse, and perhaps ruin a fun relationship with regret and resentment.

Now what I have seen done effectively, is an impromtu social put together as a benefit for a provider with an illness, or having loss her property and belongings in a fire. Several providers and hobbyists have rallied around, thrown a party, had many door prizes and raffles (including reduced sessions or free sessions) with the proceeds going to the person in need. This helps the person in need, stimulates business for other providers with the raffles, and creates fun for everyone while bolstering those buffers to protect everyone from dangers of personal charity that becomes addictive, co-dependent and enabling.

[Guest0812112]

j-fred- damn when am I going to learn to keep my mouth shut, I can see that your situtation is at the must do something stage, upon careful consideration I feel compelled to help you out of your delima. we could provide the 5-6 sessions (estimated) at normal rate plus 50% for being a credit transaction with a payment plan streching out over the next several years with an annual intrest rate not to excede 29% also be sure to check out late payment fees and overdraft charges in the next paragraph. I'm sure one of the attys on the board will gladly draw up the necessary paper work for a nomial fee which we will glady add to your account at your current intrest rate. oh by the way we will only require your auto and home as security along with all legal rights to all income earned by your 2nd son, I'm sorry couldnt help myself.

[charlestudor2005]

I have met one or two providers who, no matter how much they try, can't seem to get their acts together. I don't judge them. I just think they're caught in a vicious circle which they don't know how to extract themselves from.

They tend to be single moms who are overextended. They tend to have bloodsucking, moneysucking boyfriends, and are at their wits end with their kids. The bfs only show up to get fed and a piece of ass (maybe drugs, too), but certainly not help. She tries to keep it together, but it is beyond her.

The pressure tends to show up in the sessions with a lot of drama, cleanliness and time problems, even some NC/NS, even though she needs the dough.

Some hobbyists try to help, but these providers make it hard. The sessions are stressful in more ways than one. One provider that I met with forgot the covers and offered bareback. I had the covers, so it was not a problem. But she was not clean, either. And was high drama. Although I came away feeling sorry for her, I also came away thinking "never again."

I understand the ad that was quoted above. And I don't think anyone should criticize until they've "walked a mile in those shoes."

[Ansley]

Originally Posted by am-a-pleaser

Ansley. You may feel you are in this world by yourself. You have no family to turn to. If you were in need, I would try to help you. I feel that way with a few other ladies as well. Some have posted in this thread.

Thanks for the kind words. I was just trying to get the message across that you never know what is really going on in another person's life.

[rcinokc]

This is exactly the type of situation where 3 months from now the "i loaned her money and can't find her" thread is posted. I know that the provider asked for sessions, but we all know what's next if the bookings don't come in.

[am-a-pleaser]

Originally Posted by Ansley

Thanks for the kind words. I was just trying to get the message across that you never know what is really going on in another person's life.

True, you never really know. Each person handles things differently.

[Guest052115]

Originally Posted by Gryphon

...she is not asking anyone to simply give her money; she is asking for clients to use her services.

Others may not agree, but I do applaud her because she isn't asking for a "loan" or for people to give her money. She wants people to come see her so she can earn that money. How many guys here have had a provider ask you for a loan or to pay her car note, rent or light bill. I'm sure it's happened to all of us at least once. At least she's willing to actually work for it.

Most of us are fortunate enough to not have experienced a situation where we feel the walls are tumbling down around us, so we can't relate. Before you judge, it's best to first try to understand what this person is going through.

[PullT]

I think from a business aspect this can be criticized certainly. Would certainly affect my decisions as a customer.

But anything beyond that is simply a criticism of someone personally and that's not really in my purview...lots of people are bad with money, have shitty breaks, have destructive tendencies or anything else that puts them in financial straits...provider or not. On a personal level, I would sympathize with their troubles rather than pile on.

Reminds me of my neighbor, he made a ton of shitty decisions in his franchise restaurant business...now he's in bad financial shape. I feel bad for him personally (and would help him since we have a non-business relationship), but I'm not all that interested in helping his business.

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by chelsea simms

j-fred- damn when am I going to learn to keep my mouth shut, I can see that your situtation is at the must do something stage, upon careful consideration I feel compelled to help you out of your delima. we could provide the 5-6 sessions (estimated) at normal rate plus 50% for being a credit transaction with a payment plan streching out over the next several years with an annual intrest rate not to excede 29% also be sure to check out late payment fees and overdraft charges in the next paragraph. I'm sure one of the attys on the board will gladly draw up the necessary paper work for a nomial fee which we will glady add to your account at your current intrest rate. oh by the way we will only require your auto and home as security along with all legal rights to all income earned by your 2nd son, I'm sorry couldnt help myself.

Do usury laws apply to the hobby?


What about the Boobs for Surcher Campaign? He was in ICU for a ling time. I thinck is about to start coughing . . .

[Katy Alexander]

What bothers me the most about this thread is the I could never do that.... title. I think that it is pretty ironic considering the fact that this is how most civilian women view the idea of escorting regardless of how we handle our business. I would hope that if anyone could understand the never say never idea it would be another escort.

In other words we really have enough people who are already looking down on us do we really need to do it to each other?

[Ansley]

Originally Posted by Becky

What bothers me the most about this thread is the I could never do that.... title. I think that it is pretty ironic considering the fact that this is how most civilian women view the idea of escorting

Yep, I was once one of those civilian women that said "I could never have sex for money." To me the word never is a very strong word. It almost rates up there with the words love and hate.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Ansley

Yep, I was once one of those civilian women that said "I could never have sex for money." To me the word never is a very strong word. It almost rates up there with the words love and hate.

Every time I said "never" I wound up doing that which I said I never would. Lesson learned.

Love and hate are opposite ends of the same strong emotion. [Took me a while to learn that lesson also.]

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by Ansley

To me the word never is a very strong word. It almost rates up there with the words love and hate.

You are so right. Words like never, always, hate should be used with much discretion.

[Guest062124]

She wasn't asking for charity... she was asking people to come see her. While she probably shouldn't have let everyone know her problems, she has every right to run her business the way she sees fit. How is affects her business, only she will know.

Not every provider sees 3 or more men daily and some have children. So no, we are not all rolling in cash. More power to you if you have it all mapped out. How does anyone know what circumstances got her in this predicament. People are so quick to judge. Kicking others when they are already down is not a good look either.