A hypothetical: What would you do?

[billw1032]

If he's your best friend, how did he get to the point of being engaged and you didn't know who he was dating? Either you don't see your best friend very often, or he got engaged on the first date.

[motor]

None of your business....keep your mouth shut

[BangOver]

Originally Posted by Samhyde

Let's say your best friend invites you to dinner so he can introduce you to his fiance.

When you get there, you realize she's a provider (or she used to be anyway) and you've seen her on multiple occasions.

Do you say anything?

And ladies, so you can participate too, let's just say your friend is a guy (that is NOT a client), and the same thing happens to you. (Except for the part about seeing the provider multiple times. Lol. You just know her because you're both in the business.)

Maybe you are talking to the wrong person. If I was in that situation and really cared about my friend, I'd speak privately to the girl to see if she had been honest with him. If she said "No", and I couldn't persuade her to come clean, then I'd have some thinking to do.

Another approach would be to take her aside, flash some Franklins and see if she was willing to take a spin. If she agreed, then my message to my friend would be pretty obvious.

Bang

[goofy11]

Discretion... it needs to go both ways.

Heck he maybe a John and met her doing this and they hit it off and changing their ways.

[ValenTX]

I am with billw. This cannot be a great friend if first time you meet his fiancé is at the wedding.

Beyond that my experience is things never go well for the messenger when unwelcome news is being delivered.

[dgc92]

Originally Posted by goofy11

Discretion... it needs to go both ways.

Okay, that's fucking crazy. Outing people is a shitty thing to do, but you know what's worse? Fucking over your best friend for a reason that basically amounts to "honor among thieves." A bad marriage will fuck your life sideways for YEARS, guaranteed. Possibly the rest of your life.

Again, outing anyone makes you pretty sleazy most of the time, because mostly it's an ex or a dissatisfied customer doing it. But in the case outlined here, you have to choose, loyalty to your friend or "Do NOT talk about Fight Club." Prioritize.

[TexTushHog]

“Is a provider” or “used to be”. A very different calculus, I’d say.

[Dnice]

I would probably keep my mouth shut. Had a great friend years ago we got drunk at his place I woke up with his girlfriend on top of me saying she wanted my big black dick. Ipushed her off( took all the will power I had) told her I couldn't do that to him. He was passed out about 5 feet away. Didn't tell him for years. The funny part is years later when his relationship with her was long past I told him what happened. He laughed and said I could of fucked her tgey had an open relationship, damn I wish he had told me.������

[Ssjdawg]

If you’re 100% sure that she’s not one of those girls that has her computer angled in a way to record sessions and money exchange or has your license plate, if you’re 100% sure she won’t tuck up your life for fucking up hers. You gotta remember y’all both got the same secret and now if she didn’t have access to your real world she definitely does now. Maybe your buddy doesn’t discriminate where your dick goes but your boss might your wife might. Police might too. Maybe she’s willing to spend a week in jail to incriminate you after outting her. Who knows. Just remember swords are double edged and hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.

[TheOracle]

Originally Posted by Analeese

So you think a “ho” will always be a “ho” then? That’s kind of what I’m gathering from your point of view. Please correct me if I’m wrong though.

Just curious ...

That has absolutely nothing to do with my point of view on the question. Predictably and understandably, your point of view is about looking out for the woman and her "privacy" a.k.a. her ability to manipulate the situation to her liking. Also, no surprise that every provider has basically responded the same way. My point of view is about being open and honest with my best friend and giving him a warning that a huge train wreck could possibly be coming his way. Her privacy and well-being would be none of my concern. She is not my friend. He is. I would act on what I think would best protect my friend and make sure he is not in the dark on very pertinent information that is not trivial in the least.

Anyone claiming to be a true friend of mine who would sit back and say nothing if I was in that situation is someone I would never trust again, and I would probably distance myself from that person. With all that said, I'm not surprised at some of these answers b/c most people have no idea what being a true friend is, and real, true friends are very hard to come by.

[TheOracle]

Originally Posted by BangOver

Maybe you are talking to the wrong person. If I was in that situation and really cared about my friend, I'd speak privately to the girl to see if she had been honest with him. If she said "No", and I couldn't persuade her to come clean, then I'd have some thinking to do.

Another approach would be to take her aside, flash some Franklins and see if she was willing to take a spin. If she agreed, then my message to my friend would be pretty obvious.

Bang

NO NO NO

Never deal with the woman. Talk to your friend like a man. Give him the info and let him decide how to handle it. Why are you having private side conversations w/ his fiance? That's way more intrusive. What the hell has happened to men nowadays that two grown men can't sit down and just shoot each other straight w/o all this sneaky, feminine shit. Smh.

[mag7315]

No, no, no.


Outcomes

1) He already knows and he will be pissed that you do and you have seen her. Lost friend. 63%
2) He doesn't know and won't care and will be pissed at you for telling him. 28%
3) He doesn't know and will appreciate you telling him 9%.


1.a They break up later and you become friends again. 40%
2.a They break up sooner or later and you become friends again. 20%
3.a He will smoothly drop you as a friend because you now have a story to tell everyone. 90%


Beyond the quantitative decision tree analysis, it's none of your business. He can make his own good or bad decisions based on good or bad due diligence.



A friend of mine went through a bad divorce, then started a relationship with a younger hotty with questionable reputation. It ended after 2 years, but I was happy for him because he had 2 good years. He has since re-married. You should be happy for your friend.

[Kendall4U]

Get back to us after you save your friend from this wretched, awful, secretive whore. We will all be waiting.

He's truly lucky to have such an upstanding gentleman to be his best friend.

[grean]

Originally Posted by Kendall4U

Get back to us after you save your friend from this wretched, awful, secretive whore. We will all be waiting.

He's truly lucky to have such an upstanding gentleman to be his best friend.

Ha! Hope he has an ATF who doesn't read the forums.

Let us know too, if you begin to have trouble reaching ladies.

Any lady you meet has a potential to be outed is the message you've relayed here.

[grean]

The message you want to relay here is that if, on the off chance, you do ever meet outside the hobby, you'll act as if you were a perfect stranger.