Question for the guys about manipulation?

[vnurse]

Sisyphus, do we have the same brother? I SWEAR, I went through a VERY similar situation except that mine hasn't asked me for anything in a few years now. It just went on and on but once he jacked my mom, THAT was the last straw! Don't mess with momma!

I am glad to be reading all these replies...

tsrv, you KNOW I luvs ya! If anything, YOU are the one who manipulates me!

[tsrv4me]

Cmon ..Me manipulate ????LOL you know better than that ...Not me .....I"m not smart enough to use my brain for that ...when with you,I think with other body parts .....and love EVERY minute of it ....T

[technicallygeek]

VNURSE you can manipulate me anytime just be sure to give it a lil tickle :P

[Guest122711]

I have given money to providers or bailed them out of jail before any everytime I have I heard "I'll pay you back". Total so far = 0, but truth betold any time I have given a provider something other than for a session I write it off. If I have it and she needs/wants it I might. If I don't then its a No.

[Johnholmes]

I am a recent victim... In "love" with a dancer... She manipulated me to get her gifts frequently. After dating for a while, I realized what was going on. The request kept getting bigger over time as well. Our relationship recently ended.,
Sometimes it's hard to realize you are getting used until after the fact, Eventhough those around you tell you..
Crazy what "love" will make you do..

[vnurse]

Yeah, it's tough sometimes. I never could STAND to hear the things thes gals were doing to take advantage of the guys.

Me? I am WAAAAAAYYYYYY to independent to even THINK about taking advantage of someone.


tsrv, you want to buy me a car? Okay, how about paying my mortgage next month? If you don't want to, maybe technicallygeek will...what do you say? LOL!

[guest041110]

Originally Posted by vnurse

I'm not asking about massage here either.

Many years ago I worked with some young girls who had various clients that showered them with lavish gifts, bought them cars, boob jobs, etc, etc. If there were something (ANYTHING) that they needed or wanted, they would sweet talk these guys into providing said items for them (no pun intended).

My question is this, have you gentlemen ever been in a position where you either FELT like you were being manipulated or that you KNEW you were being manipulated? Either way, do you stay in the "relationship" or do you move on down the road? How would you handle it?

Originally Posted by warlock

Manipulated? Yes
Knew it? Yes
Moved on? Yes

Knew she was manipulating me, even told her I knew. Didn't matter until things got out of hand, when she "crossed the line". The line being when the lies were getting out of hand, her addiction began ruling her life, and a major betrayal of our friendship on her part.
In other words, you can only be manipulated if you allow it to happen.

Like warlock posted, I, too, was manipulated and it did not matter to me until her lies "crossed the line". I was being stupid at the time because I thought one of the two manipulators loved me because I was foolish enough to take her at her word which she swore up and down was honest. The other just played me but I did see it as that and knew but did not care because she really never mattered to me.

Funny you should start this thread vnurse since I had one of those two come back and think she could do it again... I’m not Steely Dan and you don't get the chance to do it again! This time I played her a bit to see where she was going with her unsolicited overtures and once her intentions became clear I just laughed at her. Sometimes I am not fast on the eject button because I am like you, I tend to see the good in people and I take them at their word but once you screw me over, you won't be let back in my life because I won't be manipulated.

Some of my real world friend's have described me as someone that takes his time to learn something but once I learn it, I never forget. In both cases, I moved on down the road because I firmly believe there is no going back once certain lines are crossed.

[vnurse]

I hear you Lonesome Dove! It takes an awful lot for me too but once I've reached my breaking point........that is it! Are you a Capricorn by chance?

[guest041110]

I am a Sagittarius with an extremely low tolerance for drama and/or bullshit.

[warlock]

LonesomeDove and vnurse,

I call that the Billy Jack syndrome. For those of you who haven't been around long enough, Billy Jack was a movie character back in the early '70's. Billy Jack was 'slow to anger', but once you pushed him far enough, watch out 'cause he'd kick your ass.

[tsrv4me]

V-nurse ..I would love to pay your mortgage and /or car payment ...Maybe over the last year I have done that .LOL but recently had a large expense ,very unexpectedly ....so that puts things in a little bit of a bind ....for awhile at least ..but doent mean I will Stop seeing YOU ...would really have a hard time doing that ...as you know ..T

[Hercules]

Oh HELL yes! From a $15K boob/tummy tuck to a $5K dental visit. With everything in between. And they viewed these as "Pre-payments" for their future services.

What really was absurd was these women acted like I was the priviledged one since I had this ooooh so rare oppurtunity to help them (lucky fucking me!)

I don't mind buying nice things for the gals I care for. But I do that because I WANT to. Not because I had a hint thrown at my face like a fastball.

[vnurse]

LD, Sag's and Capricorns actually have very similar traits in MY opinion. We may be very much alike!

tsrv, you know I'm messin' with ya, you have always been AWESOME! I appreciate you lots!

Hercules...darlin', we need to talk! I would LOVE to have some "work done". The difference with me is, if I DID a pre-pay deal, I would uphold my end of the deal! Of course, I couldn't do it! Couldn't take ANYTHING from someone here! Well, you know what I mean!

[vnurse]

I just thought of a story that fits here only a little different...

A LONG time ago, when I first started out with body rubs (I wasn't licensed), I had a gentleman client who REALLY encouraged me to go to massage school so I could work on my own.

School at the time was about $2500 and I didn't have the ready cash and didn't want to finance. I never mentioned that to him but he began insisting that I go to school and said he would front the cash for it. I was VERY hesitant but he was VERY insistent.

We FINALLY came to the agreement the he would simply continue to visit me as he always had until the cost of the sessions canceled out the "loan". I finally agreed and kept a little notebook with the "transactions" in it.

I went to school, continued to see him all along and, by the way, these were $100 sessions with a 50/50 split with the house. When we got down to where I only "owed him" 3 or 4 sessions, I showed him my records when I mentioned it and he got PISSED!

My guess is he MUST have though that I would just see him free forever. THAT is why I was so reluctant! I just didn't have a good feeling about it from the start. Well, he had given me little token gifts all along the way, as long as
I had known him. Knick knacks for the room, a robe, etc. Little things. Well, he called me up and said he would be by at such and such time to pick up all his "stuff" and that I should have it all ready and we wouldn't see each other again.

I was sorry to lose him but I DID live up to my end of the bargain. I even wrote a check for the balance of what I owed him!

See, it happens to us all in one way or another, I suppose. So Hercules, I guess you are safe from ME taking advantage of you darlin'. LOL!

[Hercules]

Originally Posted by vnurse

Hercules...darlin', we need to talk! I would LOVE to have some "work done".

You don't think I was nertz enough to actually DO any of that do ya? I ran faster then a AIG exec with his bonus.