[QUOTE=Naughty Jill;1057015953....My question is .. Is there any way at all to do the Sub role safely in the hobby ???[/QUOTE]
Meeting any client carries risks. Being submissive probably carries a few more risks, but not unmanageable ones. For the most part you are already at risk with a male you don't know of simply because of biology - the average man is larger and stronger than the average woman. So getting into the BDSM side of things isn't a huge step up risk wise. And it can be managed the same as any other appointment.
Since you are reluctant to do P411 (and even that isn't a guarantee), there are some things you can borrow from the lifestyle world to help make your encounters more safe.
#1 - Listen to your common sense. If the encounter feels "wrong", don't do it. If the person seems too focused on causing pain or rendering you totally helpless as quickly as possible, don't do it. Much like the lifestyle this person needs to earn your trust, even if they are paying for your time.
#2 - Most people probably won't feel comfortable knowing someone else is there - assuming they are clients that is. So you could try and have them there quietly, just in case, but that's not necessarily the best of things either. In the lifestyle people use a safecall when meeting someone new for the first (or third or whatever) time. The best way to make this work is to make your safecall with the person there, so they know you are doing it. And tell them you are doing it too. Then be very upfront on when you are supposed to make the 2nd call to let your safecall person know you are ok. If a person knows you have that and sees you doing it they know they are far less likely to get away with anything. Except the psycho's, but remember rule #1.
#3 - Don't do any kind of stringent bondage or use any sort of risky bondage gear until you feel very comfortable with the skill level of the person who wants to put you into bondage. It's very easy to tie a knot in the wrong place and cause nerve damage. Don't be shy about asking them where they learned their skills, how long they have been practicing, and who they have tied up before. You can make it all sexy and whatnot during your get-to-know-them period, but make sure you find that out. Also look at the equipment they have brought, that will usually tell you if they know their stuff or they don't.
#4 - If you want to get into this as a regular thing invest in your own gear that will only be used on you. That way you know what you are getting and what to expect. You can also use the types of ropes that don't burn/rub your skin badly, cuffs that are comfortable even when snug, and any other equipment that will only have your body fluids on it.
#5 - Finally, if you go down this path then you need to educate yourself on the equipment, positions and safety. As a bottom you are still going to be responsible for some of your own safety. This means you may need to do stretching prior to your client arriving so you can safely hold positions for a while. You need to educate yourself on what parts of the body can be safely tied/strapped/hit, as well as what parts of YOUR body specifically that can be used, and which that cannot. That way you can tell your tops what your limitations are and know if they are heading down the wrong path instantly.
You can never play totally safe (except by not playing at all). But you can do a few things that will greatly increase your safety as well as your enjoyment.
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