Should I be worried?

[futile]

Originally Posted by GrandPoobah

I had an appointment with a provider tonight. The appointment started off okay. We kissed for about 20 minutes. While kissing for so long we both got really worked up. She spread her legs while we were kissing and I stuck little johnny in uncovered. It all happened in the heat of the moment. I'd never let this sort of thing happen otherwise. I have a problem with delayed ejaculation. So I didn't cum inside her. We were both nervous afterwards. What are my chances she could be pregnant? I'm already paying child support on three kids. What are my chances she will have an abortion?

As long as you ejaculate in the condom, no need to worry. Here is what I suggest next time "just for you". Total BBFS then, when you are about to cum, take it out and put the condom on, then release it. You are safe! Do like three times a week. You might even live longer.

By the way who was the provider? Didn't she kick you in the nuts?

[ratboy jam]

Originally Posted by Dad

I see "banned" in your near future!

I see him having to use YOUR handle in the future...nine mos. fromnow??
Pre-cum does have SPERM in it...so for him to have "...delayed ejaculation..." means nothing.

[Dad]

Originally Posted by ratboy jam

I see him having to use YOUR handle in the future...nine mos. fromnow??

You mean NoviceLives? OlapReborn??

[proper]

this thread is hilarious.

[onehitwonder]

Originally Posted by boardman

I have a few thousand .45ACP rounds if you need one.
No you can't borrow my pistol.

Onehitta, "sized for his helmet" TFF!

Yeah, and then ya gotta make sure the 'short bus' stops right outside the incall ...............poor lil fella can't walk to school cause he can't hold his big 'ole head up .......................... ....Oh, and one more thing......make sure you pin his lunch money on his shirt with a note tellin' his 'special ed teacher' when to change his pull-ups.....................

[Jusanotherdude]

Originally Posted by SofaKingFun

Since you two kissed for such a long time along with the fact that you've already got 3 children, the chances of her being impregnated at this very moment are about 96.75634%

The chances that she'll have an abortion are currently steady at 2%.

Basically what this boils down to is this: You went BB and now she's pregnant. You are the father of this child and hopefully you'll do the right thing and support it financially and emotionally by being an integral part of this child's life. You will also have to explain to your existing children that they've got a little brother or a sister on the way...oh yeah, and if you're married, you're probably going to have to tell your wife about this too.


Oh yeah, you'll probably want to go and get tested for STDs too. Geez. How did that one almost slip by us?

Go ahead and start getting insurance quotes and talk to an attorney so that you can get the legalities all ironed out now that you've got a little extra free-time on your hands because after your child is born, not only are you going to have to get a second job to support it, you're probably going to have to babysit it while the child's mother gets back to providing again...at least for a couple of weeks, I'm guessing

Anyway, congratulations of being a father again. We're all expecting cigars.

Just an fyi, there are these things called con~tra~cep~tives and they work surprisingly well when used as directed...or when used at all, in helping to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Check into them. They're bad ass.


.





.

LMFAO!!!! That is just freaking CLASSIC!!!

Grandy.... We are no where near your bridge.... why do you bother us troll? If you are DUMB enuf to go into all that, congrats on being a dad again, being single again, and.... On your mark..... Get set..... SCRATCH!!! Get ready to catch something you can't throw back.

JaD

[boardman]

Originally Posted by onehitwonder

Yeah, and then ya gotta make sure the 'short bus' stops right outside the incall ...............poor lil fella can't walk to school cause he can't hold his big 'ole head up .......................... ....Oh, and one more thing......make sure you pin his lunch money on his shirt with a note tellin' his 'special ed teacher' when to change his pull-ups.....................

ROTFLMAO

[onehitwonder]

And Dude, don't forget to put on his Spongebob bib.............I'm pretty sure drooling WILL be a problem............I guess if his daddy is Grand Poobah then he'll be Grand PooPah............ just sayin..............


BM: you do realize I'm going to hell in the HOV lane for this thread, right?
Fu*k it! You can ride 'shotgun'............

[ferdburf]

[boardman]

Originally Posted by onehitwonder

And Dude, don't forget to put on his Spongebob bib.............I'm pretty sure drooling WILL be a problem............I guess if his daddy is Grand Poobah then he'll be Grand PooPah............ just sayin..............


BM: you do realize I'm going to hell in the HOV lane for this thread, right?
Fu*k it! You can ride 'shotgun'............

Take your time, let's enjoy the trip..........
Or as Bonnie Raitt put it:

We'll forget about tomorrow, Baby
We'll just steal away into the night
And we'll just be two shadows, Darlin'
In the dashboard light.

Slide over, Baby
Here by my side
I wanna take you on a Slow Ride
On a Slow Ride.

[angelinadream]

Bonnie Rait

People are talkin, talking 'bout people
I hear them whisper, you won't believe it
They think we're lovers kept under covers
I just ignore it, but they keep saying
We laugh just a little too loud
We stand just a little too close
We stare just a little too long
Maybe they're seeing, something we don't, Darlin'

chorus
Let's give them something to talk about
Let's give them something to talk about
Let's give them something to talk about
How about love?


I feel so foolish, I never noticed
You'd act so nervous, could you be falling for me?
It took a rumor to make me wonder
Now I'm convinced I'm going under
Thinking 'bout you every day
Dreaming 'bout you every night
Hoping that you feel the same way
Now that we know it, let's really show it, Darlin'




Let's give them something to talk about
A little mystery to figure out
Let's give them something to talk about
How about love, love, love, love?


Let's give them something to talk about
Let's give them something to talk about
Let's give them something to talk about
How about love, love, love, love?

[onehitwonder]

Ahhh.....ain't that sweet? You sing to me.............she sings to you...........I throw up a little in my mouth............helmet factory business is boomin..............

[angelinadream]

Originally Posted by onehitwonder

Ahhh.....ain't that sweet? You sing to me.............she sings to you...........I throw up a little in my mouth............helmet factory business is boomin..............

you swallowed it?

[boardman]

[sxyjade101]

This a joke right???? lol