Catching channel cats: do i need to take a page from chaos theory?

[MarcellusWalluz]

I've found hotdogs work well.
If you fancy swine you can hop in the Nissan & head to one of the county parks, plenty of feral piglets running around.

[boardman]

Get some hoop nets or slat traps and use cottonseed cake for bait

If you really want to go urban survivalist weave your own nets and/or build the traps.

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by boardman

Get some hoop nets or slat traps and use cottonseed cake for bait

If you really want to go urban survivalist weave your own nets and/or build the traps.

lol@ build my own traps. grow my own hemp to make my own rope too..

you need a boat to set the hoop or slat traps? never seen a boat on brays bayou yet, but maybe i'll launch the first lol. (2 boats working together with nets could catch a year's worth of fish in a couple hours, i'd bet. legal? umm maybe not so much..)

trying my 1st armored cat tonite. they look like they're from the jurassic. funny ass story how i "caught" my first armored cat, which i'll post when i get a sec. supposedly they're delicious, but i'm still a bit skeptical.

[pxmcc]

taste test results are in. clear winner: channel cats over armored cats.

the main reason why is that after cooking, the skin of channel cats is delicious. even after cooking, the skin of the armored cats is basically inedible bone.

throw in a huge size disparity-channel cats are at least 2 or 3 times as big as mature adults-and its no comparison.

taste wise, i give the channel cats a decent edge. i cooked both on bake setting at 200 set on olive oil with orange, lemon, and apple juice placed inside, along with cinammon, cardamon, cloves, allspice and nutmeg. both were delicious, but the channel cat was a bit better absorbing the rich, sweet flavors. armored cat flavor was more earthy and less fruity.

the answer to a question you never actually wondered about..

[pxmcc]

so i've hit a dry spell in my urban survivalist experiment. i can't catch
decomposing algae, never mind delicious channel cats. but i figure no biggie, still need to drop 10-12 pounds to hit my fighting weight-which don't even ask-so all good. if the planet is going to go out in some version of a really wet, fiery inferno, at least i'd like to leave a halfway decent body behind. tried the mountain bike, but metal on metal grinding just makes me hope i can fix it for under 180, what i paid for it. so time for a 10 mile walkabout.

walking back home and i notice something strange on my right. (the bayou is on my left.) looks like the uglier brother of the creature from the black lagoon. i study this thing and think, "i'll be damned if that aint an armored catfish." (fortunately for my eternal soul, it was.)
so then i touch it. it squirms. holy heck, this monster is alive! he got marooned by the heavy rains on the greenway hike and bike trail. i've heard these monsters are delicious but hard af to catch with normal fishing gear. (nets excluded.) so i'm thinking this is my lucky day and this poor hapless monster's not so lucky day. so i instructed him to sit tight while i went home to grab a bucket. (btw, this poor bloke had been marooned a good 12 hours since the floodwaters receded, and here he was, alive and well. frickin missing link..) so i head home to grab a bucket with some water in it and some gloves. (tbc. i need to file my latest unlubed assfucking of my sorry ass hoa. my apologies..)

off topic, but every one of those russian soldiers should be castrated in a public forum, covered in honey, and then anally impaled on top of a fire ant colony, and left to die a slow and more likely than not a somewhat painful death. shit like that is why i say die first, then surrender is ok..

and ya i got an f for misspelling apacolypse. ma bad..

[majorjones]

Interesting:
How long can an armored catfish survive on land?


It can cover up to 1.2 kilometers and can survive up to 18 hours out of water. And this tends to freak out some people.

[pxmcc]

so i grab a bucket and some gloves and head back to where i left the armored cat. i find him, but he has used his ventral fins to propel himself by "waddling" a good 5 feet towards the water. i was like, ya this is how some fish just decided to become land animals. how cool is that. i want to host a race between an armored cat and a snakehead. battle of the creepy air-breathing and land-walking invasives. because i'm partial to my tribe, i'm rootin' for the armored cat..

i pick him up, throw him in the bucket, and head home. i had a late lunch so he wasn't on the dinner menu. once we get home, i add more water and throw in some tiny hot dog slices in case that would hopefully keep him fat and happy.

i start reading about aquariums and armored cats. the author is giving his assessment and says that armored cats are great additions to any aquarium because they're super sweet, eat algae from the glass, and won't ever kill and eat smaller fish. so i'm thinking, wait, is he a pet or is he food? how can i kill a fish who is such a sweetheart? maybe, instead, i should adopt him, call him fido, buy an aquarium, and build an entire freshwater ecosystem around him. he'll probably let me pet him, and i can let him have free reign of my place since he can "waddle" and breathe air. just hope he doesn't go full box turtle on me. i turtle sat for a neighbor, and he literally disappeared on me. i almost had a heart attack until i found him hiding between 8ft by 4ft 1/4" sheets of plywood. no more free reign, you crazy box turtle. i had read him some excerpts from the Odyssey, so i blame myself. no more story time, mr the overly-adventurous box turtle..

i hear this scraping sound and i check it out. fido is trying to scrape off algae from the side of the cement bucket that is temporarily his home until i buy a 500$ aquarium with all the perks to give fido a rich and fulfilling experience. i'm like, fido, that's inedible cement, not delicious algae. like wtf, bro..

so next day, i wake up and check on my newest family member. i called his name, but he didn't respond. i offered him some rainbow skittles. nothing. he was fine for 12 hours breathing air on the bike path, but one night in a bucket with fresh water and food was a bridge too far..

i apologized to fido and god
when i prepared to cannibalize my newest roommate and family member. it felt straight out of Alive. but hey, in my defense, this is the grocery apacolypse, so there's that..

[winn dixie]

RIP Fido

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by MarcellusWalluz

I've found hotdogs work well.
If you fancy swine you can hop in the Nissan & head to one of the county parks, plenty of feral piglets running around.

what are the legal ways of capturing some free-range bacon in a county park?

i used to have fun going full black ops on my rock hopper at the swine's expense. there used to be several packs just west of George Bush Park. i would go silent, lights off until the last possible second, then i'd fire up my blaze bike light right at 'em and give them my craziest mayhem yell. i'd hear these terrified cries from the little uns and i'd fall over laughing..

not sure what happened to the packs. maybe katy parks and rec put a bounty on their pesky snouts. haven't seen 'em in years.

a small woman in the woodlands was attacked a few years back and partially eaten (and killed) by a pack at 5:30am when she showed up for work. heinous, really.

[Lovelyxxxo]

Believe it or not try GREEN GRAPES on your lines .. ITS CRAZY ITS WEIRD BUT IT WORKS WHY I HAVE NO IDEA y freshwater fish go crazy for em

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by Lovelyxxxo

Believe it or not try GREEN GRAPES on your lines .. ITS CRAZY ITS WEIRD BUT IT WORKS WHY I HAVE NO IDEA y freshwater fish go crazy for em

thx for the tip, lovelyxo. i tried tropical skittles, but that shit kept falling off the line. probably made some lucky fish's day tho..

i was using 80 pound test and random shit like masterlocks as sinkers, but i think i probably need some better gear to come out of my present slump. def going to try grapes once i upgrade..

[MarcellusWalluz]

Originally Posted by pxmcc

what are the legal ways of capturing some free-range bacon in a county park?

You can't "legally" hunt in a county park. But most people fishing don't even bother to get a license so.... Given we're going through a grocery apocalypse not too many people are worried about the Game Warden.

[O'Mike]

It may be coming. You like long pig?

https://michaelyon.com/dispatches/do...anadian-bacon/


However I will gravitate toward watching fishing on the tube, especially if it's Hanah Barron.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7lJzBfD9rk


.

[pxmcc]

^^..
Good shit o'mike! me and my fellow city slickers need to learn the right way how shit git dun proper n all..

no catch means no dinner. don't even think mickey d's is gonna save ya..

bahahahahahaha

@marcellus wallace: i think you are correct sir. hopefully..

may any game warden visualizing a grocery store apacolypse have mercy on us lowly peasants..

[pxmcc]

i'm going full chaos theory to get back into the game. imma give these channel cats and other sea monsters a move they aint never seen before. no routines, nothing predictable, just pure chaos. maybe i'll break outta my slump. maybe..

we need some guesses as to what's in there. so far, i can confirm channel cats and armored cats..

the list so far::
-channel cats
-armored cats

what else lurks in brays bayou do y'all think?

btw, the technique i'm about to use isn't fish specific. so if its in there, imma catch it, assuming my luck improves. it doesn't involve any version of rod and reel, and spare me the game warden lecture. i mean, this is the grocery apocalypse we're talking about..

(i saw the 3 hottest ebonies ever in supertarget tonite. dressed, well, minimally. i was thinking about asking them if they've ever done a foursome before. if they turned it around on me, i was ready. yup, with 3 gorgeous ebonies like yourselves. [my gals ganged up on me. all i could do was hang on for the ride. i had no chance.] i was stuck in the slow lane unfortunately, so i don't know if i had game or no. some days i do, other days im a pussy.)