Longer engagements: Your preference?

[Cpalmson]

Wow, lots of things to consider with this topic.

As a guy, I'm kinda with Doodle. I'm not the type to be willing to commit to a long date unless I've been with the girl before and know our chemistry is good. Having said that, I'm no longer a fan of an hour date (even for the first one). I'll do an hour, but prefer 90 min. For me, it is a matter of practicality. I require MSOG Also, I'm not the one to bail on a date even if the situation is less than optimal. I had one date where I was clearly disappointed with the provider's appearance. However, that didn't stop me from letting her suck my dick dry continuously for an hour

As for "Clock Free Dates", I'm moving to Canada-- LOL, I have 2 UTR "friends" that I see from time to time. We have a clock free arrangement. Even did an overnight with one of them for 200.

As for the OPs question to guys, I'd beg to differ. Looks and bed room skills are at the top of my list of factors to consider when booking a longer date. That's why I prefer the shorter "test" drive for the first date. If they are hot and can fuck, then I'll book longer. Yes, I'm shallow

For those ladies who are considering a 2 or 2+ hour minimum, please remember the economics of the situation. Your donation rate just can't be double what your old 1 hour rate was. If you do that, you will effectively be limiting your client base as some guys couldn't afford the higher rates. You do them (and yourself) a disservice by having a higher rate and longer minimum. Also, since you do have a longer minimum, you might want to expand your menu. With a 2 hour requirement, you could indulge in some extended fantasy/role play. Maybe even "equip" yourself with certain costumes and toys.

[Zabrina Sarafina]

Originally Posted by ataglance2000

The reason being is that longer dates put both of us at ease right from the very beginning and create a more meaningful encounter. Compatibility for longer dates means not only looking for a lady with great looks, but also one that has a track record of maturity and willingness to interact in mind as well as body...I want to have a fun date both in and out of the bedroom!

I feel the same way, it's good to hear from like-minded gentlemen such as yourself

Originally Posted by awl4knot

I see three keys to a successful longer date with me. First, she has to be fun. By that I mean a combination of playful, witty and easy going, with the ability to spot and enjoy the absurd.

Second, she has to be interesting and interested in the world. As time passes, the smallness of some minds looms ever larger, eventually blocking the sun of joyful companionship. A good education often helps, but quality of the intellect is more important.

Third, she has to balance showing interest in me with sufficient independence not to be clingy. My ego demands the former, my sanity demands the latter.

Great answer. My best experiences have been with people who are similar to me - down to earth with a fun sense of playfulness/humor and outgoing in the social sense; especially since I specialize in dinner and activity dates. Definitely the key characteristics I seek. And yes being able to communicate with another intelligent sentient being is always a turn on

Speaking of ego, two words: mutual respect

Originally Posted by Vivienne Rey

I'm more concerned with enjoying what I do. Longer engagements tend to attract the kind of men I like; well mannered, well groomed who want a more substantive connection.

Anything worth pursuing requires planning and enough time to savor. At the end of the day, that's really all that matters. Did you enjoy yourself?

I've always been happiest and naturally attracted people who feel comfortable in longer meetings ever since the very beginning, and my experience with shorter encounters has been less than memorable. I think especially as you grow older, really spending time with someone is something that you highly cherish and the standard one hour escort model just seems unnatural and unfulfilling. I don't understand the rushed approach to intimacy, I mean that's definitely not companionship.

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

As a guy, I'm kinda with Doodle. I'm not the type to be willing to commit to a long date unless I've been with the girl before and know our chemistry is good.

That's why you take the time to feel each other out through emails, etc to help determine that. I exchange several lengthy emails with someone before meeting, and sometimes after if it's a continuous relationship to keep in touch. You may think that's a bit much but it's actually included in my fee, which is why I charge what I do. I get asked to stimulate their minds, listen to them, talk about my interests etc prior to our date and I'm happy to do so because establishing a connection is not just important but necessary for me.

For those ladies who are considering a 2 or 2+ hour minimum, please remember the economics of the situation. Your donation rate just can't be double what your old 1 hour rate was. If you do that, you will effectively be limiting your client base as some guys couldn't afford the higher rates. You do them (and yourself) a disservice by having a higher rate and longer minimum. Also, since you do have a longer minimum, you might want to expand your menu. With a 2 hour requirement, you could indulge in some extended fantasy/role play. Maybe even "equip" yourself with certain costumes and toys.

Fantasy and role-play? Costume and toys?? I haven't been tortured into such a thing since high school drama class. Sigh.. oh the terrible memories. (star trek) But seriously, my dates tend to be 85% conversation based, as we talk for hours and hours. I love it. I'm going to borrow nina sastri's "sapiosexual" phrase here. Art of conversation = priceless

[Doodle23]

I'm not trying to be a dick, but when I hobby I am looking primarily for a wild, crazy sexual experience. If I wanted someone to get to know on a deeper level, or take an interest in I'd probably opt to see someone else other than a provider. Sending emails back and forth and getting to know a lady is just peachy, but to be blunt if I wanted to really take the time and get to know someone I'd just get a girlfriend and not have to pay someone to get to know me. In the end, many men see providers so they can avoid the emotional entanglement all together. Someone and I could click wonderfully through email, but that doesn't mean that sexually she is going to do it for me.

It's nice to think that there is going to be this emotional connection, but unlike some guys, I know why the ladies is seeing me and I hate making any pretenses about it and diluting myself to please my own ego. Some guys are happy to shell out hundreds of dollars to have a woman just talk to them. Some men might call these men white knights. I call them suckers.

* Oh and for the record I have several girls I have seen on a regular basis that are working girls and that I have built up a personal relationship with. I just do it on my clock. Not theirs *

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by Doodle23

I'm not trying to be a dick, but when I hobby I am looking primarily for a wild, crazy sexual experience. If I wanted someone to get to know on a deeper level, or take an interest in I'd probably opt to see someone else other than a provider. Sending emails back and forth and getting to know a lady is just peachy, but to be blunt if I wanted to really take the time and get to know someone I'd just get a girlfriend and not have to pay someone to get to know me. In the end, many men see providers so they can avoid the emotional entanglement all together. Someone and I could click wonderfully through email, but that doesn't mean that sexually she is going to do it for me.

It's nice to think that there is going to be this emotional connection, but unlike some guys, I know why the ladies is seeing me and I hate making any pretenses about it and diluting myself to please my own ego. Some guys are happy to shell out hundreds of dollars to have a woman just talk to them. Some men might call these men white knights. I call them suckers.

* Oh and for the record I have several girls I have seen on a regular basis that are working girls and that I have built up a personal relationship with. I just do it on my clock. Not theirs *

I don't think you're being a dick at all. But you are being one sided. Eh.. maybe with that last statement you were. But have you ever considered what it would take (other than the money) to make a lady willing to be as wild as you want? Simple commonality. And enough conversation to let the crazy out. That doesn't take much at all.

When you say emotional entanglement, I think you've got it confused with say, real life one night stands, where you sit at the bar talking to a girl about what she wants in a man half the night before she agrees to come home with you. It's about treating all ladies like a human being, and not a fuckhole. I know I don't ask a man's life story before we meet, but it would be nice to know that I at least liked that guy whose brains I just fucked out.

That, sir, is a necessity for me.

[stimulatethemind]

Zabrina and Tiffani, you two ladies get it. You are both true, professional companions, much like the lady that I see exclusively. We don't have appointments, we have dates. Our dates average approximately 7 hours, of which, perhaps one hour is spent BCD. We do lots of things, go out to dinner, to a movie, to the theatre or symphony. Mostly we just talk. We are entwined in each other's lives, so there is never a shortage of topics of conversation. We discuss psychology, politics, history, but mostly just our lives. This coming weekend, we are taking a little road trip to a city three hours from here to see one of her favorite bands in concert. After seeing each other for 14 months now, I still can't wait to see her this weekend because I know that our time together will be interesting, stimulating and real.

So, I'm not saying that this "prototype" works for everyone, but it does for me. Some guys are more into variety and sex for the sake of sex. That doesn't make either of us right or wrong, just different. This works for me and I consider myself very fortunate to have met this amazing woman.

Zabrina and Tiffani, keep doing what you're doing and stay true to yourselves.

[Cpalmson]

I think Doodle's point is that for most men, the hobby is about the sex not the connection. This is where the whole GFE thing tends to get blurred. For guys, GFE is all about the activities they want a provider to offer. Providers see GFE as offering a little more intimacy into the encounter. Somewhere in between is the happy medium. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy engaging a lady in conversation and simply talking. That's one reason I like 90 min appointments, and I do genuinely enjoy getting to know another person. However, I'm not going to fool myself into believing that I'm going to end up in some type of long term relationship with a provider. If we click and have a good time in the sack together, the most that I see coming from it is that I become a regular client, and she becomes ATF material. Other than that, the only other possibility I see that can come from a relationship is either sugar baby, mistress or fuck buddy. It is not like I'm going to give up my life to be with a provider.

[JohnnyYanks]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

... For guys, GFE is all about the activities they want a provider to offer ...

Nice to know we fellas have a spokesman. Or you got a mouse in your pocket, C?

For me, I need time because I'm curious. I just can't help it. I want to know everything. And I want the time to linger should one of my senses demand further exploration that interferes with the other senses being sated.

Yes, that is vague. Because I hope each experience to be somewhat organic and not coerced by design or time.

[Doodle23]

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

I don't think you're being a dick at all. But you are being one sided. Eh.. maybe with that last statement you were. But have you ever considered what it would take (other than the money) to make a lady willing to be as wild as you want? Simple commonality. And enough conversation to let the crazy out. That doesn't take much at all.

When you say emotional entanglement, I think you've got it confused with say, real life one night stands, where you sit at the bar talking to a girl about what she wants in a man half the night before she agrees to come home with you. It's about treating all ladies like a human being, and not a fuckhole. I know I don't ask a man's life story before we meet, but it would be nice to know that I at least liked that guy whose brains I just fucked out.

That, sir, is a necessity for me.

Fine, we can see if there is a commonality and mutual interest. That's a fine idea hun. But why am I the one that has to pay to explore this if the main thing I want is to get laid? If we are going to pretend that money is not a huge consideration to providers and that connection is just as important than why not take money off the table when exploring this connection? How about a provider only charge for 1 hour of service for a multi hour session if the session is just getting to know one another and talking? I have a feeling that whole " connection " thing probably doesn't outweigh the money for her, just like the connection doesn't outweigh the feeling of her pussy for me ( Just being blunt )

Most men have no problems not treating women like fuckholes. But when ladies treat us like glorified ATM machines and then expect us to just roll with it and want us to pretend like they are interesting enough to want to pay to hear her talk then its being a bit silly. I'm sure that the next time I see a provider and want her to stay for an extended session I'm sure she will get even wilder with me because of " commonality " . Surely the size of my wallet has nothing to do with it.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by Doodle23

Fine, we can see if there is a commonality and mutual interest. That's a fine idea hun. But why am I the one that has to pay to explore this if the main thing I want is to get laid? If we are going to pretend that money is not a huge consideration to providers and that connection is just as important than why not take money off the table when exploring this connection? How about a provider only charge for 1 hour of service for a multi hour session if the session is just getting to know one another and talking? I have a feeling that whole " connection " thing probably doesn't outweigh the money for her, just like the connection doesn't outweigh the feeling of her pussy for me ( Just being blunt )

Most men have no problems not treating women like fuckholes. But when ladies treat us like glorified ATM machines and then expect us to just roll with it and want us to pretend like they are interesting enough to want to pay to hear her talk then its being a bit silly. I'm sure that the next time I see a provider and want her to stay for an extended session I'm sure she will get even wilder with me because of " commonality " . Surely the size of my wallet has nothing to do with it.

Okay, now you're being a dick. But I want to address your points. I'm going to be blunt too.

1. I don't think a woman can win with you. It seems that a lady forfeits being considered a lady with you when money's involved. As long as you get what you want, you don't care how you impact the lady you encounter. She asks for money, she is downgraded to fuckhole.

We as ladies carry ourselves in different ways. There are some of us who are okay with every aspect of our transaction being all business. Then there are those of us who would like our transactions not to feel like business, and feel more like a normal girl meets guy scenario. It would do you well to seek out the former.

2. It's apparent you like your money more than you like women.

I have never met a man who actually likes women never have to pay in some form or fashion. When you look at it, this is is still better than the payout for a marriage or long term relationship. At least our exchange is an honest one, because you may be getting conned on that end. It is your duty to pay for that booty, sir... Somebody once said 'be wary of the free lunch. There is NO such thing as a free meal'.

To address your first question, you have to GET the appointment first, hun. That 'chemistry' point has alluded you, as it's achieved before she says yes. You've just missed out on what happens BCD, cause not all of us are talkers. And with some women, your attitude would be the reason she wouldn't meet you.

There's no worse feeling for a woman than when she gets off the bed, looks at herself in the bathroom mirror realizing she just fucked an asshole. And not on purpose.

[Doodle23]

It's not that I can't treat a provider like a lady. Quite the opposite. The point I am trying to drive home is that if you are charging someone money for getting to know you, and there is always an agenda behind those conversations then it isn't a genuine interaction. It'd be like me hiring a friend for a day. It just doesn't work. Bottom line is that If a provider takes genuine interest in me then I'd love to get to know her. I think that's a great thing. But you can't pretend its just like normal dating scenario or a" guy getting to know a girl " situation when one person demands money for their time. At that point you have set the tone before the interaction even begins that one person is worth more for their time. It is not a genuine dating scenario because one person has an agenda ( $$$) and if that agenda were taken off the table then she probably wouldn't be seeing me in the first place.

Some of us have very different views of sex.For me, I can have sex with a lady and not think any less of her, and can smile, kiss her on the forehead, thank her and tell her I had a great time. Its just the way some of us men are wired.Almost every woman I have seen has been a sweetheart and hasn't changed just because they were short appointments. Just because I see a lady briefly doesn't mean I think of her as a " fuckhole".

And FYI. This spirited discussion isn't personal by any means. We can disagree without being mean. It's just a spirited discussion on my end( and one that II am enjoying ) . Nothing more.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by Doodle23

It's not that I can't treat a provider like a lady. Quite the opposite. The point I am trying to drive home is that if you are charging someone money for getting to know you, and there is always an agenda behind those conversations then it isn't a genuine interaction. It'd be like me hiring a friend for a day. It just doesn't work. Bottom line is that If a provider takes genuine interest in me then I'd love to get to know her. I think that's a great thing. But you can't pretend its just like normal dating scenario or a" guy getting to know a girl " situation when one person demands money for their time. At that point you have set the tone before the interaction even begins that one person is worth more for their time. It is not a genuine dating scenario because one person has an agenda ( $$$) and if that agenda were taken off the table then she probably wouldn't be seeing me in the first place.

Some of us have very different views of sex.For me, I can have sex with a lady and not think any less of her, and can smile, kiss her on the forehead, thank her and tell her I had a great time. Its just the way some of us men are wired.Almost every woman I have seen has been a sweetheart and hasn't changed just because they were short appointments. Just because I see a lady briefly doesn't mean I think of her as a " fuckhole".

And FYI. This spirited discussion isn't personal by any means. We can disagree without being mean. It's just a spirited discussion on my end( and one that II am enjoying ) . Nothing more.

I hope you don't think I'm being mean. It's just an observation based on your thoughts. But spirited nonetheless.

But you miss the point altogether. Don't we both have an agenda? You want to boink a girl who doesn't know you from Adam's housecat. What do you think it's going to take? Your winning personality? So there's no possibility of recognizing a mutual situation and being civil? You don't PAY to get to know the lady, or to talk. You're making her comfortable enough to get what you want. But again, I can see that it's your thought that because money's involved we've lost the ability to feel, or see past the money.

I can understand that if you're that much of a player in real life, getting all the free cootch, how this concept would be lost on you.

[ataglance2000]

Zabrina,

It was more than our like-mindedness that we enjoyed over dinner recently! Why would anyone want to just spend an hour or two with such a gem as you? :-)

[Doodle23]

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

I hope you don't think I'm being mean. It's just an observation based on your thoughts. But spirited nonetheless.

But you miss the point altogether. Don't we both have an agenda? You want to boink a girl who doesn't know you from Adam's housecat. What do you think it's going to take? Your winning personality? So there's no possibility of recognizing a mutual situation and being civil? You don't PAY to get to know the lady, or to talk. You're making her comfortable enough to get what you want. But again, I can see that it's your thought that because money's involved we've lost the ability to feel, or see past the money.

I can understand that if you're that much of a player in real life, getting all the free cootch, how this concept would be lost on you.

No, I don't think you are being mean at all.. I just didn't want to come off as mean spirited.

Anyways, I can totally understand what you are saying and it makes perfect sense. Sex is a very touchy. subject. Some women want a lot of comfort building. I get that I really do. But understand these are things most of us guys do when we are dating or with the significant other. You may not realize this, but for some of us guys the rush and the thrill comes from sleeping with a woman we just met and we barely know. Hobbying for some of us is about escaping reality and living a total fantasy. When most of us guys have sexual fantasies there usually isn't any long conversations in the mix! You described dating in your encounters and those are exactly the things I try to avoid. I want raw excitement, and adrenaline rushing fun. I want the experience to feel like a roller coaster ride. I don't want to sit down and map things out. That is so mechanical and boring.

My dating life supplements my need to get to know another lady, be intimate, and all of that stuff. I get that from dating so I have no need to see a provider. What many of us men want is someone who can fill that other part of our sexual fantasies. When I see a provider I want the opposite of what I normally do. I want the raw sexual aspects of a relationship. That's why I think there is a provider for everyone. It's not saying your way is wrong, but more or less trying to explain to you why some guys would want the wham bam thank you mam encounters as well.

And yes, I get plenty of pussy outside of the hobby. But with those girls I usually have to talk to them first. And you can see how much I hate that.

[Cpalmson]

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

I have never met a man who actually likes women never have to pay in some form or fashion. When you look at it, this is is still better than the payout for a marriage or long term relationship. At least our exchange is an honest one, because you may be getting conned on that end. It is your duty to pay for that booty, sir... Somebody once said 'be wary of the free lunch. There is NO such thing as a free meal'.

I have to take exception to what you are implying here. Maybe I'm taking it out of context, but you seem to be saying that it is better for guys to pay for sex and companionship with a provider who likes to get to know her clients instead of being married or in a long term relationship. One of the reasons most guys hobby is b/c they are married or have an SO. They hobby for the variety of activities they aren't getting at home, or the thrill of the experience, or just to fuck someone new for a change.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by Doodle23

No, I don't think you are being mean at all.. I just didn't want to come off as mean spirited.

Anyways, I can totally understand what you are saying and it makes perfect sense. Sex is a very touchy. subject. Some women want a lot of comfort building. I get that I really do. But understand these are things most of us guys do when we are dating or with the significant other. You may not realize this, but for some of us guys the rush and the thrill comes from sleeping with a woman we just met and we barely know. Hobbying for some of us is about escaping reality and living a total fantasy. When most of us guys have sexual fantasies there usually isn't any long conversations in the mix! You described dating in your encounters and those are exactly the things I try to avoid. I want raw excitement, and adrenaline rushing fun. I want the experience to feel like a roller coaster ride. I don't want to sit down and map things out. That is so mechanical and boring.

My dating life supplements my need to get to know another lady, be intimate, and all of that stuff. I get that from dating so I have no need to see a provider. What many of us men want is someone who can fill that other part of our sexual fantasies. When I see a provider I want the opposite of what I normally do. I want the raw sexual aspects of a relationship. That's why I think there is a provider for everyone. It's not saying your way is wrong, but more or less trying to explain to you why some guys would want the wham bam thank you mam encounters as well.

And yes, I get plenty of pussy outside of the hobby. But with those girls I usually have to talk to them first. And you can see how much I hate that.

I so get you. And I get the appeal.

Raw sexual fantasies I have no problem with. I am sex addict friendly. But for me, there's a safety issue when you're talking about meeting me on short notice. Then it's not really possible for me. I do/am 10 different things in a day, and a Companion is the last of them.

There's a difference between sitting for an hour talking about cats and exes trying to get a bitch in the mood, and having a preliminary phone conversation so a lady can hear inflection in your voice, and to get an understanding of who you are, and your expectations. You don't know how much you give away in a simple 10-30 minute phone call. Simply saying "I just want to be ravaged today" gets you what you're asking for. Knowing that we're both Star Wars fan gives us something to talk about between orgasms.