Client and Provider discussions of Sexual Interests Before a Session

[Eccie Addict]

Because I am a bit naive at times I have to ask. Isn't the no no when someone starts asking about rates and services combined? Most ladies direct you to their site/shocase for that info but why is a small conversation about what you each might like overboard? Especially when it's after you've been screened. Not to mention screened by someone that screens as well as some of the ladies here do.....

[whitechocolate]

EA, I agree, you need that extra info after screening. Maybe the ladies need to put in the "extra" type of services they are willing to provide on their website or showcase in very general terms but specific enough to inform the client about what may take place. After screening a bit more detail can be given if the client expresses an interest in that category. Again, a lot is YMMV anyway.

[Valerie]

Originally Posted by sunshynemonroe

For me..if you say something in ne way that i feel is to much the convo is over....

Yep!....Unless it's someone I've seen before....That said, I do have an "after you've been screened" form on my site for gents to fill out, that's for if they have any requests such as attire and such, however, if someone filled it out with explicit narrative their appt would be terminated asap!

[Eccie Addict]

I think I need to learn how to create a blog like Valerie and then the ladies can just go to it to see if she is comfortable seeing me and if she is, what it is I like lol.

[Valerie]

Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

I think I need to learn how to create a blog like Valerie and then the ladies can just go to it to see if she is comfortable seeing me and if she is, what it is I like lol.

Haha!!....maybe not a bad idea to put it in your sig line

[ivan]

Providers many times hide their limited services behind don't ask question "line".
You have to waste your hard earned money to find out the hard way. I don't do reviews but I had this happen many times. I no longer see many of the providers and I stick with few UTR's. They're more reliable.
I believe providers should discretly be upfront about their menu and services.

[blowpop]

This is a great example of why it's worthwhile to establish yourself here on Eccie.

A couple of years ago, on another board, I was bantering back and forth with a new provider, and she made a comment that hinted about her submissive side. We took the conversation into email, and after a bit it became obvious that she was very much into being submissive, but obviously wasn't comfortable submitting to every hobbyist who asked.

It took a bit of time, but trust was established, and our first session together was off the wall. The second was even better. The chemistry was amazing, largely due to the fact that our interests aligned and that trust had been established.

So yes, discussions before the fact are valuable. But you have to proceed slowly, and you can't expect every provider to want to invest the time. YMMV, to be sure.

[whitechocolate]

Blowpop great point. Trust is essential before the session and that may be very difficult. Both parties often need to take a safe risk of exposing themselves but it can lead to a very rewarding long term relationship which might be missed otherwise. And it goes without saying that until you actually meet each other and see the chemisty, you cant have any certainties and as always YMMV.

[spunky]

Now is there anything wrong with a discussion between the two parties involved once the business end of things have been concluded and both are comfortable and ready to play? I for one have certain things that I like and certain things that I don't, I would also like to know what the womans limits and bounderies are as I do not want to cross them.

Spunky aka Spunkey71

[whitechocolate]

I personally like to discuss limits and boundaries during the session while it is ongoing. It is so YMMV and may vary as the session progresses. While likes and dislikes would be something to take up before although there is probably overlap between the two.

[Mariah Moore]

I don't know if I would feel to comfortable talking to much over the phone about things about to take place just doesn't seem very professional to me at all, but to eachs own

[lisa.lisa0302]

So how is your experiences going so far.

Im not a dude, but generally the older ones have their mind up, prepared for the worst. They have checked the reviews, look at acouple of her posts, even peeked at the P411 profile. They have a general idea of what the experience is going to be like.

I know exactly what you are asking,you want to make sure you two mesh and are on the same page. Having said that, i don't know too many ladies comfortable replying back over the phone, "yes I love kissing".

Go with the flow. You may just be surprised.

PS its numerous of threads and threADS for that matter where the gents are asking the ladies what they like. You may find some answers there.

Happy Hobbying.

Originally Posted by whitechocolate

I personally feel that for the client to get the best session possible and for both client and Provider to get the most out of their time together, explicit sexual discussions of interests, desires, fetishes etc are necessary before the session. There are obvious pros and cons and I am interested in opinions of both providers and clients. I am not talking about discussing the obvious things that are in the usual session and review but more unusual special interests that might be called kinky or taboo and make the session very hot.

[whitechocolate]

Mariah, I am not suggesting discussing things that will take place. That is not for discussion before the session. We are talking about general interests in certain special types of behaviors. Until you have the actual session, you never know exactly what will happen. If you arent comfortable, you dont discuss.
Lisa- Again you dont know until the session if there is a mesh or chemistry. Just trying to pin down some special interests is all that I am talking about. It is a good point you make that you can research the posts of a provider or that mention that provider to see what she may enjoy. Asking about kissing or other activities usually mentioned in reviews(which arent reliable) are not what I am talking about either. Going with the flow is what usually happens with mixed results but sometimes surprisingly good results if parties are open to discussions during or right after the session. Providers always need to be comfortable with any discussion.

[Valerie]

@Whitechocolate- I think you are over analyzing this a bit much love....just got with it when your time comes...There aren't many ladies who are comfortable discussing BCD things....

[Mojojo]

If they dont wanna talk about it I just carry flash cards and draw it out.