Consideration for the betrayed wife

[Ed Highlight]

"Dig your key into the side of his pretty little, suped-up, 4-wheel drive; carve your name into his leather seats. Take a Louisville Slugger to both headlights and slash a hole in all 4 tires.... maybe next time he'll think.... before he cheats!!"

Thank you for your contribution and have a nice day!!

[JustCause]

Since we all know Looneygirl and Betrayedwife are the same user (ref Elizabeth's comment that she'll be back) consider this:

Why would you come on an anonymous board and try to be two different people? Isn't that the same deception of which she accuses the hubby?

[boardman]

Originally Posted by BetrayedWife1

Thank you, sir, and you are right. I WAS there for him, never refused ANYTHING. I guess 20 years with the same chick is tough...I get it. I mean, I had fantasies, too...but you know what? They stayed fantasies.

You never refused? That's a classic line.

Yeah, you never refused but you never made yourself available. Oh, there was always something in life that seemed more important at the time than sex. Finishing the laundry, putting the whining kids to bed and reading to them until they fell asleep. Walking the dog that one last time before you go to bed, dishes put away. Once everything else was done, then and only then, could you relax and be a lover. Except you've squandered away enough of the evening that now he's too tired, has to get up at 5:30 and really needs some rest. But what's worse to him is that he now lays awake wondering why you don't want to have sex with him. Why you find every excuse in the world not to fuck him.

Maybe you have body issues, that's not his problem. Get the fuck over it and give your man a blowjob when he gets home. That's what he wants. He wants his wife to desire him. Like it or not sex is the #1 emotional need for a man. Security is the #1 emotional need for a woman. Read "His needs, Her needs" by Willard Harvey.
Other than fucking another woman, which came relatively late in the relationship, did he meet your needs? Did he provide for you? Make you feel safe?

You see, when you were making a nice home you were doing what you thought he wanted most because that's what you wanted most. That's important to him, don't get me wrong but there are other things more important that were not getting met and that's why he sought other avenues. Furthermore, when he didn't acknowledge and praise the home you made you resented it and that made sex even harder for you.

In his mind, you didn't want sex and he didn't want to force it on you. Seeing a hooker was his best option to get his needs met without getting emotionally involved.

Perhaps you should have revealed your fantasies. If one of them was to be a hooker you totally missed the boat.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by JustCause

Since we all know Looneygirl and Betrayedwife are the same user (ref Elizabeth's comment that she'll be back) consider this:

Why would you come on an anonymous board and try to be two different people? Isn't that the same deception of which she accuses the hubby?

Some folks here are pretty sad. So, since someone who has never met the posters thinks maybe they are the same person, they MUST be the same person.

So what?

And no, even if they are, that is not the same level of deception at all.

But for some here, they can't just let a hurt person rant for a couple posts. Glad I don't rely upon thus community for compassion when needed. Some of you are just cold and callous for little good reason.

[CarolineDavenport]

Originally Posted by Old-T

Some folks here are pretty sad. So, since someone who has never met the posters thinks maybe they are the same person, they MUST be the same person.

So what?

And no, even if they are, that is not the same level of deception at all.

But for some here, they can't just let a hurt person rant for a couple posts. Glad I don't rely upon thus community for compassion when needed. Some of you are just cold and callous for little good reason.

So not being gullible about a completely implausible situation makes us cold and callous? Not buying into an obvious manipulative game by someone who has more free time than sense and an unhealthy desire for attention and sympathy is not the same thing as being cold and callous. Cold and callous would be telling her to jump off a bridge because obviously she's a waste of space since she can't please her man. None of us said such a thing, or would think such a thing if we believed the story to be true.

We're just calling "her" out on "her" obvious bullshit. First, she claims to be the betrayed wife of a man that slept with an escort. Why on EARTH would she want to come here and tout her sadness to us? She's just holding a pity party, and normally a housewife thinks of herself above a sex worker. Why would she come to us for sympathy? We're beneath her. We're the enemy that stole her husband. Where Looneygirl was angry and judgmental (which would be expected of a betrayed wife) this person is just touting a poor-me story.

She's obsessed with using four dollar words, yet neglects basic grammar, and claims to be a school teacher. I'm assuming she's trying to pass herself as an English teacher with that vocabulary she's busting out... but she needs to pick up a grammar book if she wants to pull off the act.

I could maybe see her taking the "well, maybe I should see what I can learn" stance and coming here seeking sexual advice and pointers from the people who obviously do what her husband seeks, but she's not doing that either. So explain to me why she is here. She surely has friends and family who will take her side and give her all the sympathy and advice she needs. She could find countless boards for betrayed wives where she will find other ladies like herself who can all talk and share experiences. Seems more likely that a mentally stable woman would seek that, even if she were emotionally distraught.

My point is, it is all too nonsensical. You don't go to "the enemy" unless it is to learn their secrets. You certainly don't go to them to seek a shoulder to cry on. This is all just trolling for attention from someone who finds it amusing for whatever reason.

I truly believe that. And I will not be shamed into taking this seriously. If she turns out to be the real deal... I might feel a little bit bad. I'd still think she was an idiot, and possibly crazy, but definitely emotionally manipulative to a pretty extreme level.

[James1588]

Originally Posted by CarolineDavenport

... I'm assuming she's trying to pass herself as an English teacher with that vocabulary she's busting out... but she needs to pick up a grammar book if she wants to pull off the act.

...

One minor quibble, Caroline: I served a term on a school board (4 years -- more than you'd normally get for a first-offense burglary, I think ), and I was exposed to the writing of quite a few teachers, not to mention administrators. Literacy among employees of public-school systems is, well, shockingly limited. For all that I deplore her deprecation of sex workers -- and I do -- I'd have to say that BW1's command of grammar and usage is head and shoulders above the majority of the "educators" with whom I had dealings.

[James1588]

And, of course, I just had to edit my previous post to correct my grammar. Yeeesh! It never fails ...

[cabletex7]

Originally Posted by James1588

. . . For all that I deplore her deprecation of sex workers -- and I do -- I'd have to say that BW1's command of grammar and usage is head and shoulders above the majority of the "educators" with whom I had dealings.

Proving that you can lay a turd with even one dollar words.

[Stanfeld]

Glad I don't rely upon thus community for compassion when needed.

Yeah, an anonymous internet board isn't really a community upon which to rely.

[Old-T]

Caroline, you go to the "enemy" because you don't understand what has happened, and you desperately want to understand--because without it you can't move on.

You post because you are angry at the world--you didn't see it coming and you can't understand why somehow thought you knew has hurt you so badly.

You cry out because you don't know what else to do in your grief.

There is no "right" way for the others here to reply, but the people who "know" the situation, and "know" it is really her fault (just read some of the kind, understanding posts on here) should in my opinion just shut up for a bit--at least about judging who was right and who was wrong in her marriage.

I'm glad you are one of the strong people, those who never need to just rage against the machine because you feel hurt and helpless. Most others don't fit that mold. What you see as improbable is the reality far too many do live in. And I never said anyone should be gullible--just saying that sometimes the decent thing to do is believe what you want, bite your tongue, and let a hurting person rant for a bit.

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by Old-T

...sometimes the decent thing to do is believe what you want, bite your tongue, and let a hurting person rant for a bit.

Why?

[JustCause]

Originally Posted by Old-T

Some folks here are pretty sad. So, since someone who has never met the posters thinks maybe they are the same person, they MUST be the same person.

So what?

And no, even if they are, that is not the same level of deception at all.

But for some here, they can't just let a hurt person rant for a couple posts. Glad I don't rely upon thus community for compassion when needed. Some of you are just cold and callous for little good reason.

I'm surprised. You are usually witty and well-spoken enough to engage me.

Except when you're wrong.

Nice try though.

[jbravo_123]

Originally Posted by CarolineDavenport

She's obsessed with using four dollar words, yet neglects basic grammar, and claims to be a school teacher. I'm assuming she's trying to pass herself as an English teacher with that vocabulary she's busting out... but she needs to pick up a grammar book if she wants to pull off the act.

Maybe she's a math or science teacher? Or this is just a sad commentary on the state of the educators in our school systems

Originally Posted by Old-T

Caroline, you go to the "enemy" because you don't understand what has happened, and you desperately want to understand--because without it you can't move on.

You post because you are angry at the world--you didn't see it coming and you can't understand why somehow thought you knew has hurt you so badly.

You cry out because you don't know what else to do in your grief.

There is no "right" way for the others here to reply, but the people who "know" the situation, and "know" it is really her fault (just read some of the kind, understanding posts on here) should in my opinion just shut up for a bit--at least about judging who was right and who was wrong in her marriage.

I'm glad you are one of the strong people, those who never need to just rage against the machine because you feel hurt and helpless. Most others don't fit that mold. What you see as improbable is the reality far too many do live in. And I never said anyone should be gullible--just saying that sometimes the decent thing to do is believe what you want, bite your tongue, and let a hurting person rant for a bit.

The problem for me is that we have no reason to let any person denigrate members of our community in the fashion that she has been doing so. Even if they're hurting, that doesn't give someone a pass to treat people the way that she has been doing so.

It would be different, for example, if she were a long standing reputable member of the community and had a bunch of good will built up towards her, but in this case, she's a stranger bringing a hostile attitude into a rather insular community.

I'm surprised people have held back as much as they have.

[dearhunter]

I will take one for the team and fuck the wife........she will be running back to no job/broke ass hubby in no time.

[Dorian Gray]

The husband should of stuck to his guns & used the "Who are you going to believe? Me or your lying eyes" excuse.

If he had said it enough times she would of had to believe it, right