Relationships Beyond The Hobby

[Sisyphus]

Originally Posted by WTF

You agreeing with me? Holy chit! There is a God.

We actually agree on the message (ok...for the most part but the Devil does seem to be in the details) a lot more than either of us would believe. It's in the delivery where we tend to butt heads, ButtHead!

I don't think I'm in town for this BL shindig. If I am...I'm there!!

[Guest042611]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

ah the standard routine ;-). Aren`t they all unhappily married pursuing a divorce ...... lol ........:-) Isn`t that what all monogamous mistresses hope for? Is he at least supporting her financially? Or does he get the goodies for free on top of the soap story of how unhappy he is in his marriage?

I don't know any monogamous mistresses—I think that's an oxymoron! And yes, she is very well taken care of, or was at least last I heard from her.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Natalie

I don't know any monogamous mistresses—I think that's an oxymoron! And yes, she is very well taken care of, or was at least last I heard from her.

Good for her :-). I know many mistresses who wish their married lovers would not be married or divorce. So i assume that the regular mistresses are monogamous or at least wish to be. Because if they weren`t why would they enter exclusive arrangements then? Or aspire them? There are not so many truly non-monogamous or polyamorous people out there. Many use the label just to be hip or pretend to be different, or find an excuse for their hypocrisies. Its the same with the label of "I am sex-positive" :-).. (giggle). As soon as its about love then tears roll and the competition starts be it with the wife or with previous lovers.

Same with men. I have encountered too many men pretending to be poly when they weren`t so i limited my dating only to people that are poly out in the open and write it on their facebook , ok cupid, or so that everyone can see it, same as me. No more "switches" to be convenient in every situation.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by Guilty Pleasures

You know after reading all this, truth is, it isn't just women or men in the hobby who have difficulty maintaining a relationship. It is everyone out there in or out of the hobby. Long term relationships seem to be a very "rare" occurrence these days, and with divorce being so high, and people not wanting to do what it truly takes to work out kinks in a relationship and roll with the punches it is not surprising anymore.

I agree with this, but take into consideration that this industry mirrors real society. The reason long term relationships are a rarity is because people in general refuse to delve deeper than sexual compatibility and financial stability to gauge real love and compatibility. And working out kinks is really hard. Especially when the love is based on something utterly pointless. If the only reason she moved in was to have a nice place to stay, even though his penis is an inny and he's bipolar, or the only reason he deals with her fat ass and her snoring and the fact that she's not cute with her makeup off is because she pays the bills, what kinks are there really to work out? Other than the fact that they were probably mismatched from the beginning and should have never been with each other?

People are selfish. They get into relationships/settle for less because they don't want to be alone, or are not as stable as they want to be.

I hate the fact that so many men on the escort boards want to point to women in the industry as somehow "damaged goods" or someone with a lot of baggage. There are just as many men who fit these descriptions as well. In fact I would say it is more common to see men with "baggage" so to speak in the hobby than it is with the women.

You are SOO right. And it's mostly because they are short-sighted in their analysis of their relationships (not saying that women aren't guilty of this too, but it's mostly men). They don't judge people on their individual merits and once a Blonde from Montana has dragged them through the mud, no other Blonde from Montana will stand a chance. And socially speaking, we're all bearing the scarlet letter, so it's easy to just scream at us that we're all just dirty filthy money-hungry whores, who shouldn't want or need a personal relationship with an understanding man who accepts us for who we are, cause they're pussy-whipped, jobless wimps and manginas. We can't just be ladies who need love too.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

You`re right, that adds up to my previous statement of the fact that all (or most) clients are burgeouise, because the open minded ones don`t need to book escorts mostly. I am not generalizing, its just that 90% off the clients are like that. So a relationship means the woman adapts to the burgeoiuse mindest, and most often that does not work.
The cases where it did work is with - as you said - bohemian men. Transgressing boarders is not easy. There is a reason why they are there..:-)

That sounds about right, Nina. I can count on one hand the number of clients I see that lead alternative lifestyles. For the most part, I think that most people think of their wives and girlfriends as the good girls, befitting them the 'honor' of a public romance, and us as the bad girls, and anything done with us has an air of shame. But as it had been stated, people whore themselves out everyday for one reason or another. To me, that is the common denominator.